I don't quite understand what to write here :)

[Gitte]

Hello Vince;

Lovely to meet you too, Vince.

Do you recognize that the self is just a bunch of stories that you believe and react to?

This is by far the easiest part.

Forgive and embrace every part of myself and discover where I identify is another business.

Gitte

[vinceschubert]

Hi Gitte,

Forgive and embrace every part of myself and discover where I identify

You know that this is not something that you can DO. Right?
The way into these is head on. Not aggressively, but gently. We don't want to create resistance.
With forgiveness, notice where judgement happens.
With embrace, notice where rejection happens.
With identification, notice the feeling that accompanies self reference.
If these don't happen, don't reject the happening.
if these don't happen, don't judge (have an opinion)
If identification happens, embrace it as an opportunity to recognize it.

with love

vince

[Gitte]

Hello Vince,

It gets more complicated writing anything because I recognise that it is only unreal stories happening.

Pernille always says that being still with oneself is a thing to do. Let what is, come up.
Last week I was diverting from this intention and was quite annoyed.
Today I sat still and a weird phone call came from a colleague. It made me very uncomfortable because the illusion arose, that I should have answered differently to what I did. Luckily I went for a walk and listened to the 19febmeet and therefore the talk about the illusion of choices.

Gitte

[vinceschubert]

Good morning Gitte, i was really pleased to see you at the 17th Feb meet, then when you left a story arose here that you weren't finding value. There was a feeling of disappointment. It was recognized that this feeling was a response to the story. The feeling changed to one of curiosity. Your mention of listening to the recording of the 19th brought up a story that nullified the previous ones. Feeling good again.

the illusion arose, that I should have answered differently to what I did.

What I'm attempting to highlight here is that whatever arises, it's all ok. Whatever happens is what happens.
By the time we become aware of what that is, it's finished. Done. In the past.
It's the recognition that changes the stories that we respond to.
All of our waking hours, it's story/response/story/response etc.
Absolutely zero point in wanting that to be different.
It's the recognizing that makes the stories more in tune with what is actually happening.

much love

vince

[Gitte]

Hello Vince;

I think the missing link and the game changer has been to assimilate, "what is, is and there is nothing to change".

There is nothing else to add.

It is e real value to have the possibility to listen at the meetings.

Thank you

Gitte

[vinceschubert]

Hi Gitte,

I think the missing link and the game changer has been to assimilate, "what is, is and there is nothing to change".

..and it can't be changed anyway as by the time you become aware of it, it is in the past. Done. Finished.

love

vince

[Gitte]

Hello Vince;

So Saturday was great, Don was able to put into words my week. My intention was to be still and observe what came up. Nothing came but frustration about being uncomfortable in my own company.

Now it is as if I am full of love and here is the funny part:

My thoughts come up with two stories

1. Now it is too late to investigate the numbness because I do not feel it any longer
2. What if I just needed to be explained that it was numbness and now the flee has fallen off and there is room for love?

Have a nice day

Gitte

[vinceschubert]

Good evening Gitte,

Nothing came but frustration about being uncomfortable in my own company.

This is something that we can 'work' with.
It doesn't have to be present to use it. We can take it to the lab (so to speak) and invent a sentence that will stir it.
Not now though. Let's just keep an eye out for it at the moment.

My thoughts come up with two stories

1. Now it is too late to investigate the numbness because I do not feel it any longer

As above. We can easily access it when we want to investigate it.

What if I just needed to be explained that it was numbness and now the flee has fallen off and there is room for love?

That's certainly possible, but unlikely. The 'test' will be if it comes back.
Enjoy life while we wait..

Oh, and enjoy the presence of love. Enjoy it while being observant of where it emanates. Notice what pushes or pulls it.

much love

vince

[Gitte]

Hello Vince

“We can take it to the lab (so to speak) and invent a sentence that will stir it.”

This was your quote.

I would like to find a sentence, because it is a situation that keep presenting itself.

Gitte :)

[vinceschubert]

Good evening Gitte,

I would like to find a sentence,

So a sentence might be "I am uncomfortable in my own company"
We want just enough 'juice' to work with but not so much that it stimulates an evasive reaction.
If that sentence doesn't stir anything, then make it a bit stronger. Like "My own company makes me so uncomfortable that I get frustrated."
When you find one that stirs sufficient emotion, then you look for the sensation and the stories that are attached to it and sit in the gap between them.
While you are there, you look to see if there is any actual connection between them. You can also consider if the sensation itself contains any instruction or indeed any information at all.
In the beginning notice the thoughts that want to attach to the sensation, but don't pay attention to what they are about.
After inspection of the sensation then you can notice if the content of the thoughts are what gives the impression that the sensation has intention.

with love

vince

[Gitte]

Hello Vince;

Usually, I work on the days and nights you hold your groups. When I can join I do find it very useful.

Now, I have been looking into finding words to investigate what happens when I am by myself. To quite some extent, I enjoy my own company so days go by before the frustration emerges but I feel nothing.

...then I participated in an inquiry with Pernille and Todd. Maybe I asked her about what to do about my complaining about a situation at work and very unexpectedly Pernille could see that I am in a situation where I am next to a bully thinking that I can make the situation normal and therefore ok. It is not possible because maybe you could align him with the character of a narcissist and whoever finds themself next to that person like that just has to get away.

What I get from that situation is that there is something I need to uncover. Some right and wrong I didn't know I had the right, because I have never allowed myself so.
So with this person or any person of his like, I do complain about them in my thoughts and I feel so ashamed and wrong by doing that. I do not even question what they do. This is the pattern, I do not allow myself the think anyone is a jerk....and I was stuck there.

I have this very thick filter from which everything is defined and the filter is that what I am, per definition, is wrong. Which is why I do not feel anything.

Gitte

[vinceschubert]

Good evening Gitte,

When I can join I do find it very useful.

Oh good. i do get the message that you'd mostly rather observe than actively participate.

I have been looking into finding words to investigate what happens when I am by myself.

You might find the website we are building useful. i am focussing it on a DIY approach (https://1ness.info)

what I am, per definition, is wrong. Which is why I do not feel anything.

This is a big one. ..and stating the obvious, it is why you allow that bully to walk over you.
..but knowing this is not likely to change it.
Your low self worth is conditioned into you and that has to be undone.
It's interesting how time has collapsed between when you were taught to be this way and the way you are now.. Interesting and useful, because we can address it in the present.
..but not here on the forum. Email me and we'll set up a zoom session and look at it.

much love

vince

[Gitte]

Hello Vince,
I can not find your e-mail :)
Gitte

[vinceschubert]

vinceschubert@gmail.com

[Gitte]

Hello Vince;

It is very difficult to explore unknown spaces. It is as if the ego has swopped concepts and now I feel nothing in not doing exercise. It is OK. Therefore very difficult for me to grasp any underlying treasure.

I have noticed jealousy as an overall theme.

I do find it easier to embrace what is and I have as intention to do just so.

What really turns on a body reaction is money but I do believe that it is the numbness which is covering all the good stuff.


Have a nice day
Gitte