I’m not sure

[Aussie]

Dear Cheryl

Who is this me?

Thought (ego)

What is this me?

Thought (ego)

Where is this me?

No where, just made up in the mind

I still find this self identity ego very overwhelming at times but hopefully it’s starting to unravel

Kind regards Aussie

[CherylVT]

Dear Aussie,

Who is this me?
Thought (ego)

Yes. And what's the sensation that precedes and/or follows that thought? Look closely. It may well be subtle.
In your Direct Experience, begin to notice how the sensation and thought hook each other. What tiny glimpse do you find? Perhaps very subtle.


Use DE on worry.
e.g., thought, sensation, thought, thought, sensation
Write down what you see/hear/feel and report back.
What's the specific thought?
What's the specific sensation?
Is there an image?

Use DE on "not possible for me".
Write down what you see/hear/feel and report back.
What's the specific thought?
What's the specific sensation?
Is there an image?


Use DE on "I want to know" extra tips or tricks.
(or restate that phrase so that it feels "right.")
Write down what you see/hear/feel and report back.
What's the specific thought?
What's the specific sensation?
Is there an image?

Love,
Cheryl

[Aussie]

Dear Cheryl

what's the sensation that precedes and/or follows that thought?

Tension, slight tightness of the muscles

What tiny glimpse do you find?

Nearly always there’s tightness of the body especially around the temples and warmness throughout the body

Write down what you see/hear/feel and report back.
What's the specific thought?

This technique of seeing self may not work for me.

What's the specific sensation?

Tightness, heat

Is there an image?

No there’s no image,there’s only internal sound of the thought, tension and sight is normal but I’m so wound up in the thought I’m not really aware of sight, there’s also a feeling of sadness and doubt.

Kind regards Aussie

[CherylVT]

Dear Aussie,

Keep going.

there’s also a feeling of sadness and doubt.

Use DE--which might look something like:
feeling of sadness--thought
feeling of sadness--sensation around the heart (or the belly or...?)
thought, sensation, thought, thought.


Also use DE on doubt. Again. And again.
I can't do this--thought
sensation (where?)
Are there more thoughts, hooking into each other?

Tell me the details.


I will be in an airplane tomorrow and traveling until September 11, so my responses will be slower than usual.

Keep going.

Love,
Cheryl

[Aussie]

Dear Cheryl

Also use DE on doubt

Feeling of Doubt = thought
Feeling of doubt = sensation of tightning muscles.
Each time these type of thoughts arise i try to just observe instead of believing, sometimes i can and other times i just get caught up, feels like my mind is constantly trying to chase something that it can’t see which is constantly causing this negative loop. But in saying that there has been some occasions when outside on a nice day my mind will go extremely quiet, i hear everything clearly, I feel my body sensations clearly, I see everything clearly and there’s a really nice undertone feeling of contentment and happiness! It’s like my mind has stopped searching for a few minutes and just noticers that everything is beautiful as it is. But I’m still yet to see that there is no self and am intrigued to know where exactly does this seeing of no self actually come from.

Safe travels, kind regards Aussie

[CherylVT]

Dear Aussie,

there has been some occasions when outside on a nice day my mind will go extremely quiet, i hear everything clearly, I feel my body sensations clearly, I see everything clearly and there’s a really nice undertone feeling of contentment and happiness! It’s like my mind has stopped searching for a few minutes and just noticers that everything is beautiful as it is.

Beautiful! Sink in to each one of these experiences. Marinate in them. Soak in them. Swim in them for as long as you can.
Set a random timer as a mindfulness bell to remind you several times a day to take a minute and notice contentment and happiness.

We are re-training the neural networks. Neurons that fire together (worry, doubt, etc) wire together. We want to build new pathways and wire together contentment, quiet, beauty, etc. This takes commitment. This is the via positiva.

At the same time, we also work on the via negativa.
Is there a self in the thought (of worry, doubt, or whatever)?
Is there a self in the seeing (of color)?
Is there a self in the hearing?
Is there a self in the sensation?
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Deconstruct each worry.
Thought, sensation, sensation, thought (or however it shows up for you).
Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

Deconstruct each doubt.
Thought, sensation, thought, sensation, (or however it shows up for you).
Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

Tell me what you find.

Love,
Cheryl

[Aussie]

Dear Cheryl

Is there a self in the thought (of worry, doubt, or whatever)?
Is there a self in the seeing (of color)?
Is there a self in the hearing?
Is there a self in the sensation?

There is ‘something’ seeing, hearing, sensing and thinking.

Deconstruct each worry.
Thought, sensation, sensation, thought (or however it shows up for you).
Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

Deconstruct each doubt.
Thought, sensation, thought, sensation, (or however it shows up for you).
Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

I don’t really get much sensation unless it’s a intense emotion, so generally there’s only thought without sensation but if a intense emotion arises i will try to deconstruct it but I’m not going to try to cultivate it either

Kind regards Aussie

[CherylVT]

Dear Aussie,

There is ‘something’ seeing, hearing, sensing and thinking.

Where is the self in the seeing of color? Or is there just seeing?
Where is the self that hears? Can "you" stop hearing? Can "you" control hearing? Or is there just hearing?
Where is the self in the thought "There is ‘something’ seeing, hearing, sensing and thinking."?
Or is there just a thought? A thought appearing from who-knows-where and dissolving into who-knows-where?

Love,
Cheryl

[Aussie]

Dear Cheryl

Where is the self in the seeing of color? Or is there just seeing?

‘Something’ noticers that the eyes are seeing color.

Where is the self that hears? Can "you" stop hearing? Can "you" control hearing? Or is there just hearing?

‘Something’ is noticing sound through the ears. No you can’t stop hearing or control hearing this is all known by ‘something’.

Where is the self in the thought "There is ‘something’ seeing, hearing, sensing and thinking."?

No self in that thought but there’s’something’ that notices that thought.

Or is there just a thought? A thought appearing from who-knows-where and dissolving into who-knows-where?

I don’t believe it’s as simple as saying’just a thought’ otherwise it would be alot easier to see through the illusion. And who is or what is this ‘something’ that notices all of this stuff if there is no self?

Kind regards Aussie

[CherylVT]

Dear Aussie,

‘Something’ noticers that the eyes are seeing color.

"Something" is an assumption that was made when we were two years old.
Look closely to find that "something."

There is a knowing of experience, but that knowing cannot be isolated because it actually IS that experience (seeing, hearing etc) – it’s all included, inseparable. Even with eyes closed there is still seeing, sensations, sound – aliveness. Only thought creates separate things--trying to describe the “details” and creating objects and subjects in the process. Like the knowing of seeing (awareness) which sees the colours – a noun (subject), verb (action) and another noun (object) – it looks more like language than reality, don’t you think?
Reality is very simple – it’s just THIS, which includes all – seeing_hearing_tasting_sensing_smelling_thinking_knowing of it. And it’s all happening RIGHT NOW.
So, is the knowing of it an agency or an attribute?
if the knowing of experience is an entity/agent or quale. Anyway, indivisible.
If there is an agent then there is doer-ship, and down the rabbit hole we go.

Love,
Cheryl

[Aussie]

Dear Cheryl

is the knowing of it an agency or an attribute?

The knowing of it is a attribute. ‘Something’ was probably a poor choice of word on my behalf but it’s hard to explain this knowingness. I feel as though this knowingness is very clear with seeing, hearing, smelling, sensing and tasting it just is what it is but with thinking/thoughts it’s not been fully recognised yet.

Kind regards Aussie

Thanks for your patience

[Aussie]

Dear Cheryl

I’ve just been going through the 7 step guide on the LU website and I’m feeling abit stuck on something that was written.

Is the controller/manager in head? If so, how does a self give commands to the body?

Yes definitely feels if though the manager is in the head and it can wiggle a finger, move a leg, breathe deeper or shallower if it chooses the body to do so, I don’t know how but i know that it can.

Kind regards Aussie

[CherylVT]

Dear Aussie,

I'm glad to hear you are doing some "extra-curricular" activities on the LU website.

You have said before that the controller/manager feels like it is in the head. Maybe behind the eyes?
Do you have any more details on exactly where?

Look/feel closely. Where exactly, exactly is that controller/manager?
One of my friends says it's behind his left eye. Yours probably won't be there. But where, oh where is it?

When you have felt it as best you can (and it may still be quite a general area, such as "behind the eyes"), then use DE.
For instance,
behind the eyes = sensation
feels like "my" self = thought
image of a homonuculus behind the eyes, steering the body = seeing
there must be a controller = thought

All that is happening is sensation, thought, seeing, thought, sensation, thought.
Where is the self in sensation?
Where is the self in thought?
Where is the self in seeing?

Pick apart your experience. Don't let it glob together.

Here's another reading from the LU website.
http://www.liberationunleashed.com/reso ... xperience/

Any moment that you feel relaxed, quiet, selfless, SINK IN to that experience.
Tell me how many times you are able to "sink in," marinate, swim, cook, bask in that Ahhh experience.
Once a day? Twice a day? Once while walking? Twice while walking?

Love,
Cheryl

[Aussie]

Dear Cheryl

Look/feel closely. Where exactly, exactly is that controller/manager?
One of my friends says it's behind his left eye. Yours probably won't be there. But where, oh where is it?

Top half of the forehead slightly more to the left= sensation
Imagine of a grey brain=seeing
This is where I think self is=thought
This is starting to feel silly=thought
Words making up thought=hearing
Mild tension in forehead=sensation

Where is the self in sensation?

There’s only sensation plus a thought of self being attached to sensation.

Where is the self in thought?

There’s just thought trying to convince thought that there’s self in thought.

Where is the self in seeing?

No self there’s just seeing and some labeling.

Any moment that you feel relaxed, quiet, selfless, SINK IN to that experience.
Tell me how many times you are able to "sink in," marinate, swim, cook, bask in that Ahhh experience.
Once a day? Twice a day? Once while walking? Twice while walking?

Generally most days and a couple times a day for not much longer than half a minute at a guess, it’s usually triggered when I’m outside and I just stop whatever I’m doing and just listen to sound around me and usually the mind just goes really quiet and I feel this amazing vastness, clarity, peace and wellbeing. There’s no need to do anything, get anywhere or change anything I guess you could call it contentment. I can’t make this experience happen but when it does I just enjoy it and like you said I try to marinate in it.

Kind regards Aussie

[CherylVT]

Dear Aussie,

Thanks for your patience. I was on the road all day yesterday.

a couple times a day for not much longer than half a minute

Excellent! Keep it up!
Set a random timer, and, when it rings, SINK IN to the moment. Deepen.
If you are alert enough, notice the distraction (thought? feeling/sensation?) that leads you away.

You have discovered the same thing that Ilona says

, I is a thought. It is not a being, it is just a label. Being is a verb, not a thing.

Now, let's return to the body.
You can see “body” is a very complex label describing many colours, sensations, tastes, etc. You can see how the illusion of an "I" is supported through this label. Once you have a ‘body’ it’s not that far to have an owner of the 'body'.
So, is there an owner of the 'body', is there a center to which sensations are happening?
Is there a center to which experiences are happening?

Can the "body" do things?
Can a label do things? ("At some point the body gets up and goes to make food or eat")

Love,
Cheryl