help me to escape the madhouse ;-)

[NickName]

Dear Lubo,

Let say when there is a rain there is no separate drops, things with free will , but also 'I' can refer to the rain, event but not a thing, a center.

Yes, I think it gets clearer. I am not awareness as an entity that fills the space, but rather what is happening as an event.
I need to let this sink in.

Do you feel yourself like a center?

This needs looking twice or even more, because there is so much conditioning. :-) First I am temped to say yes, because it's always the perspective out of these eyes and most sensations are connected to the body. Also I can't feel other people's sensations. But looking again all is just there, all is equally. Just some sensations referred to as inside and outside of me (determined by thought). So without thought everything is just there.
I

Is there bounders? What is behind the bounders? how you know?

No boundaries. Again, the illusion of boundaries can be there, because there is a shape/colors referred to as body or table. But when feeling the finger tapping on the keyboard there is no clear boundary between the finger and the keyboard. There is just one sensation. It is even clearer with eyes closed.

Is there a time?

There is no time. Just now. No line between past, present, future. Past and future just appear in the mind.

Have a good night!
Nicole

[Lubo]

Hi dear Nicole,

Do you feel yourself like a center?

This needs looking twice or even more, because there is so much conditioning. :-)

Yes, there is imagination of cartoon charter and we are looking just this, that this is mental creature, Santa, Nicole, Lubo...

Also I can't feel other people's sensations.

Why sensations should be someone's?

No boundaries. Again, the illusion of boundaries can be there, because there is a shape/colors referred to as body or table.

yes. notice that words just label - word "body" and word "shape/colour"
Notice that in reality there is a colour and sensations
and word "body" sugest that there is something else.

Can you find the body but not colours and sensations?

Without label body is there separate colours and shapes? Separate from what?
is there others?

Don't believe thoughts.

Is there a time?

There is no time. Just now. No line between past, present, future. Past and future just appear in the mind.

Does the mind is something which can thing? or it is a label?
Is there experience of mind?
if not we can throw this label away.

Love
Lubo

[NickName]

Good morning Lubo,

Why sensations should be someone's?

Yes, there are only sensations, not belonging to anyone. Just being there. I was referring to the illusion.

yes. notice that words just label - word "body" and word "shape/colour"
Notice that in reality there is a colour and sensations
and word "body" sugest that there is something else.
Can you find the body but not colours and sensations?

Yes. only shapes and colors and even the word color is just a label. I would say that even a shape is an illusion, because a shape just comes from different colors.
If there is a red circle on a black background we can see the circle only because we see the difference between red and black. But there is no circle as a thing. Same with the body. There are different colors (skin color, hair color, eye color,...), but that does not mean that there is a body as a thing. So there are only colors and sensations.

Without label body is there separate colours and shapes? Separate from what?
is there others?

Only different colors in one space. Nothing separate, just different colors and shapes arising from that. So no others. Just more colors that create shapes.

Does the mind is something which can thing? or it is a label?
Is there experience of mind?
if not we can throw this label away.

I never saw it that way. But yes, there is no mind. Only thoughts. "mind" is just a label, a thought content. So no experience of mind. Only experience of thoughts.

We have beautiful sunny weather in Germany these days. Wishing you a wonderful day.

Best wishes,
Nicole

[Lubo]

Hi dear Nicole,

We have beautiful sunny weather in Germany these days. Wishing you a wonderful day.

Oo, nice.Thank you. Greetings form us and France.

Yes, there are only sensations, not belonging to anyone. Just being there. I was referring to the illusion.

I want to invite you to explore something.
let the body lie down
and with closed eyes
notice the breathing,
the sensations,
notice how the body wants to move,
slow but deep movements.
Notice this power that it is only limited by the idea that it is some kind of person.
Is breathing personal property?
Explore the power.
Let "thoughts" not appropriate what is happening
Share?

[NickName]

Hey Lubo,

I did that for a while. This was very interesting.

notice how the body wants to move,

Can the body want something? ;-) :-D

Notice this power that it is only limited by the idea that it is some kind of person.

Is breathing personal property?

Breathing just happens, nothing personal. Sensations are just there. I wouldn't even say there was movement. A movement is just a sensation (with eyes closed).

Explore the power.
Let "thoughts" not appropriate what is happening

At the beginning, especially noticable when there were no thoughts at all, there was just being. But thoughts kicked in from time to time saying "isn't this just further sensations?". But the longer it lasted the more it felt alive and everything connected. And the more intense this got the more I could understand (without thoughts) that everything is one.
It wasn't a real epiphany, but it was a clear experience of everything being connected. Not the body-me here and noises outside of the body and the house I was in. But rather sensations and sounds, aliveness, connectedness.

I want to explore this even more. This was truely helpful.
By the way I have been less caught up in story and been more relaxed through the last days.
Looking forward to your reply.

Many thanks. Cheers,
Nicole

[Lubo]

Hi dear Nicole,

I want to explore this even more.

This touch me deep.

I could understand (without thoughts) that everything is one.
It wasn't a real epiphany, but it was a clear experience of everything being connected. Not the body-me here and noises outside of the body and the house I was in. But rather sensations and sounds, aliveness, connectedness.

Wonderful
I understand that you found that you are not a thing, right?

Now please look at the sky
Notice that word "sky" points space, there is no such thing "sky" right?
Notice also that "original" space is empty, blackness, nothingness, right?
And during the day space become blue, but this is not a limitation for the space but just part of the space some event appear and colour the small part of space in blue?
And in reality there is nothingness + event in the nothingness, are you with me? :)

Now look around...
Notice the space in the room,
notice the space where sensations appear
the space where all colours and shapes appear
Isn't it this the same space as where the blue colour called "sky" appear?
Is there something which is not Nothingness itself coloured by event in this very moment?


I am with you.
Lubo

[NickName]

Dear Lubo,

I understand that you found that you are not a thing, right?

Yes. So far it was only clear to me what I am not. Now I'm realizing what I am. Or at least coming closer to that.

Notice that word "sky" points space, there is no such thing "sky" right?

Yes, it's only blue color with some white spots in it

Notice also that "original" space is empty, blackness, nothingness, right?

And during the day space become blue, but this is not a limitation for the space but just part of the space some event appear and colour the small part of space in blue?

Yes, black at night, blue, grey or white during the day happening as and event, not a thing.

And in reality there is nothingness + event in the nothingness, are you with me? :)

I am completely with you although I can't exactly tell why. Since the last exploration when you asked me to lay down I can somehow "sense" and "see" and know that space, but it's different from the usual perception.It's like some other dimension has opened up. What I perceive appears to be "more real". And that's why doubhts and thoughts kick in saying "how do I know all these things?" It's easy to say yes and confirm when you are suggesting things.

Now look around...
Notice the space in the room,
notice the space where sensations appear
the space where all colours and shapes appear
Isn't it this the same space as where the blue colour called "sky" appear?

Yes, absolutely.

Is there something which is not Nothingness itself coloured by event in this very moment?

No, absolutely nothing that is not just appearing in this space.
But thoughts are coming and asking "how do I know what I see are not things, but like events. Just showing up. I can somehow see it, but I can't explain it. So I wonder if I'm really on the right track.

I am with you.

Thank you for your presence and support.

Warmly,
Nicole

[Lubo]

It's like some other dimension has opened up. What I perceive appears to be "more real".

Yes, this what you are speaking is the only real "thing" here. This is "behind" everything.
It is wonderful practice to move with close eyes on a bed or floor for 20-30 min each day
Check this one:
""I am so powerful and vast, that I am afraid to see my self and i create all this story about I persona.
I create all problems because to deal with them and to postpone the meeting with me""

But thoughts are coming and asking "how do I know what I see are not things, but like events

Notice that thoughts saying this because the idea that there is someone who sees?
But only colours/shapes?
No one live life, no live?
No Nicole, no real woman?

Love
Lubo

[NickName]

Hi Lubo,

It is wonderful practice to move with close eyes on a bed or floor for 20-30 min each day

yes, I did it again today as good as I could as I was quite sleepy and distracted. I read your instructions again from Sept 7. I noticed I didn't follow them properly.

Notice this power that it is only limited by the idea that it is some kind of person.
Explore the power.
Let "thoughts" not appropriate what is happening

I let thoughts take over instead of continuing to explore the power.

""I am so powerful and vast, that I am afraid to see my self and i create all this story about I persona.
I create all problems because to deal with them and to postpone the meeting with me""

Focusing on that and not getting drawn into thought content it was obvious that all is just happening. There is no one postponing "the meeting with me", but there are distractions happening and thoughts confirming that story. It's part of the game.

Notice that thoughts saying this because the idea that there is someone who sees?
But only colours/shapes?
No one live life, no live?
No Nicole, no real woman?

yes, only when the thought content is taken for reality, there is the idea of someone who sees or doesn't see. When the focus is on that deeper reality, the "realness" or vastness, it is only colors, life (but no one living), no real person. And then a strange feeling kicks in and thoughts are questioning that "realness". But then the focus stays on the power instead of the thought content.

Blessings,
Nicole

[Lubo]

Hi dear Nicole,

yes, only when the thought content is taken for reality, there is the idea of someone who sees or doesn't see. When the focus is on that deeper reality, the "realness" or vastness, it is only colors, life (but no one living), no real person.

Is there real body + real world=2
or there is this supreme intelligence which appear as...= no2 ?
look around is there something wich is not this great What is?

Jump in the miracle :)
I am with you,
Lubo

[NickName]

Hi Lubo,

Is there real body + real world=2
or there is this supreme intelligence which appear as...= no2 ?

It is all this power showing up as colors, sounds, sensations, thoughts. The body is colors and sensations. Or rather body is a label for colors+sensations.

look around is there something wich is not this great What is?

Nothing else. All expressing as whatever you want to call it (aliveness, power, what is, connectedness, life...).

Thank you,
Nicole

[Lubo]

Ок. Notice what is going on and share.
Ask the sistem:
is there anything in me that is not worthy of love?

Don't fight with this "me" in the question, just check for unconscious shame which still here from our childhood and meet it with the Supreme Love and care.

Love and power,
Lubo

[NickName]

Dear Lubo,

is there anything in me that is not worthy of love?

check for unconscious shame which still here from our childhood and meet it with the Supreme Love and care.

When I ask this now, all is good. All is worthy of love. But during the day there are lots of situations when shame comes up.and I meet it with love and compassion as often as possible (that means when I am aware enough to do so, not getting drawn into the story too much). Then I get calm and relaxed. Sometimes completely and sometimes only for a short time, (when I am triggered too much, e.g. when getting upset or annoyed about something.)

Thank you,
Nicole

[Lubo]

there are lots of situations when shame comes up

Wonderful that you see that. Yes shame and unworthy of love is the main part of the illusion "separate me"
Be very gentle with this.
Stay with these parts and meet them with love and compassion.
to meet them, say:
"I am worthy of love"

"I am loved every moment"

"I am Supreme Love and Power"

Lubo

[NickName]

Good morning Lubo,

I am worthy of love"
"I am loved every moment"
"I am Supreme Love and Power"

In some situations it takes a lot of questioning believes to be able to fe the truth. In other situations it sinks in and I can feel the truth immediately.
I'm continuing with your exercise of exploring the power that moves everything. What I can say is that this sticky me- sensation has left. There is just switching between being identified with story and seeing that everything is connected. Although most of the time I am still identified. So I continue with the practice as you suggested.

Warmly,
Nicole