Keen to have a good hard look

[Anastacia42]

That's wonderful.

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5) Describe decision & give examples from experience.

Describe intention & give examples from experience.

Describe free will & give examples from experience.

Describe choice & give examples from experience.

Describe control & give examples from experience.

What makes things happen? How does it work?

What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

6) Anything to add?

Loving

[GaryBee]

Hi Stacy,

Let’s see what you make of this :-)

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

I can’t find anything in direct experience. Which just leaves thought. Thoughts comes and go out of nowhere. I have no control of this, they arrive, they go. Some are sticky and some are not, I have no control of that either. So no controller. I can’t see how this enquiry could make anything real disappear, so it never existed.

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

I presume it starts at some point in childhood during the learning of language. I can’t remember back that far, but no self feels familiar, like being a kid again. As I see it, things arise caused by conditions. The body or mind does something, a thought will pop saying “I did that”, this thought is assumed to be a personal voice and therefore me. You are told as a child, that is you, that is your voice, you can make choices. It is so widely taught that there is no reason to not believe it. These thoughts are also sticky, they can take over, create feedback loops and cause misery. My first step, years ago meant I had less thoughts and didn’t take them as seriously. This step seems to be realising the source of the thoughts is not me.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

This is still pretty new. I am hoping it’s not temporary. The predominant feeling is of being lighter and not taking responsibilities as seriously as I did before. I feel basically calm and peaceful. Headlessness is more prominent, my surroundings are more interesting and beautiful.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

Staying in direct experience as much as I could. When I remembered looking for a self in the senses. When thoughts arose, looking for the a self as the source, or a controller and finding nothing.

5) Describe decision & give examples from experience.

See choice, I can’t see a difference.

Describe intention & give examples from experience.

Intention is the idea that you will do something in the future. Generally this will be in thought form sometimes with emotions attached. By itself it does nothing. I may intend to empty the bins, whether or not this gets done I think leads the following questions.

Describe free will & give examples from experience.

Free will is the idea that you can do whatever you want. I have thought for a while that this is illusory. Your options are defined by your environment and DNA. Your thoughts come out of nowhere. The whole idea of free will is unravelled in my brain, it makes no sense.

Describe choice & give examples from experience.

Choice is the idea you can choose between options. Should I make a stir fry or pasta for our evening meal? This would seem to be a straightforward choice. I view the ingredients in the fridge. I think about pros and cons, but in the end do I choose? Not as I see it. After the thinking the chosen option appears in my mind, out of nowhere.

Describe control & give examples from experience.

It is a natural idea that you want to be in control and not swept along by life. That you can do what you want to do, not what ours and circumstances make you do. This is however a fantasy, it’s obvious people are swept along by life. More than that we are part of that flow. Not sure what example to give, without free will or choice, what sense does control make.

What makes things happen? How does it work?

Things happen due to the universe, natural laws, random elements. From here this appears as things just happening. Still struggling with this a bit, the mind wants to claim credit for doing things and the language has this built in. When I look I can see it just happens, but the habit is so well practised.

What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

On the relative level, my kids, wife, etc. Of course without intention, choice, control, free will etc this makes no sense. How could I be responsible? And who would that be, the universe?

6) Anything to add?

Firstly thanks so much Stacy, I really appreciate your time. It feels there is a fair bit of getting used to this and junk to clear out. It feels so different yet so familiar, but in such a way as to be really hard to describe.

[Anastacia42]

This is great. Take your time and settle in. You also might want to attend some of the teleconference groups especially if questions come up.

Your answers will be shared with other guides who may have questions. Watch your private messages top right and watch this space.

It's been a pleasure.

Welcome home!

Loving

[GaryBee]

Hi Stacy,

Thanks so much. I was half expecting you to say I wasn’t done. This is so strange, everything is so similar, yet I can feel the difference. I’ll watch out for messages and try and catch some meetings. What is the best way to settle in? For now I am watching for when the single view/headlessness is most noticeable and sinking in.

Metta, Gary.

[Anastacia42]

Yes, you're doing great.

What is the best way to settle in? For now I am watching for when the single view/headlessness is most noticeable and sinking in.

That works. Also if you can make it to the teleconferences, you can talk to others who see as you do. That can be very supportive.

Loving,

[Anastacia42]

Good morning!

No one had questions. You'll get a private message with some information on our Facebook groups.

Welcome home!

[GaryBee]

Thanks Stacy.