frakifiknow -- search for enlightenment

[Anastacia42]

Autocorrect... seeing *happens* (not happiness)

After you finish & answer "final" questions here, you can go try 10 Fetters where you may find a deepening. LU only guides to what you have - no self, no control, no free will. etc.

[frakifiknow]

But is there an experience of the ’now’ moving along the line of time?

No, it's like riding a wave of now. Always on it, always moving, yet at the same time stationary relative to experience and vice versa.

Any experience of one ‘moment’ giving way to the next?

Not in the sense that one ends and the next begins, rather it morphs.

Is there any actual or direct experience of one event following another?

This one is quite interesting, but no. Each seemingly discrete event is simply one morphology of the whole happening in now.

How fast is the ‘present moment’ actually moving?

It's not, it just is.

Just look at 'this moment', can you find a point where it began?

No, here and now is just here and now, the content may change but here and now will always be.

How long does the ‘now’ last?

Forever I guess, but at the same time now is like a razor's edge, infinitely precise.

Where does the ‘now’ start, and where does it end?

When does the ‘now’ exactly become the 'past'?

These question don't really make sense. Now is now, always has been, and always will be.

What is the ‘past’ in actual experience?

Thoughts representing memories right now.

So is there actual experience of ‘time’ or thoughts about ‘time’?

Time is what the mind says exists to justify the difference between memories and now. It's inherently relational and has no meaning in an absolute sense. Time is an illusion, albeit a convenient one, but it doesn't "exist" any more than "I" or "yesterday" do.

It's like riding in a car with someone else driving. If you're looking out the windshield, you see a premonition of the future, where you will presumably be, at some point, but you aren't there, and anything could happen between now and then, so for all intents and purposes it's just a guess. On the flip side, you turn your head and look out beside you, and you're treated to an infinitely evolving representation of now. There's no rhyme or reason, just what is, and then that's not and now is. On and on. Experiencing this analogy first hand was absolutely mind blowing.

You're not going to sustain seeing. That expectation itself will prevent seeing, because seeing happiness now, not in the future where that expectation tries to take you.

But the joke is on you - there is no "future."

Only now... and now... and now.

Hilarious. On one level this appears purely semantic. On another level, it's a fairly radical shift in perspective, but little more. However, that analysis is just mind stuff happening, trying to preserve a sense of "me" it seems. Is this seeing?

After you finish & answer "final" questions here, you can go try 10 Fetters where you may find a deepening.

Final? These answers are authentic, but distraction is everywhere. Deepening is definitely desired, as this understanding comes and goes. What is 10 Fetters?

Much love,
Ryan

[Anastacia42]

Hi Ryan,

You can go read about 10 Fetters on Christiane 's site www.findingawakening.com. We only guide to no self here. That's the first one. With the dropping of the illusion of a self, usually the 2nd Fetter, doubt, and the 3rd fetter rites & rituals also drop.

Do you want to try "final" questions questions here? We check these to be sure we didn't miss anything. They are shared with other guides, who may have questions.



1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5) Describe decision & give examples from experience.

Describe intention & give examples from experience.

Describe free will & give examples from experience.

Describe choice & give examples from experience.

Describe control & give examples from experience.

What makes things happen? How does it work?

What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

6) Anything to add?


~ Stacy

[frakifiknow]

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

No, just a set of ideas and memories that makes up a sense of "me". Inside, in any given moment, there is nothing -- an expansive emptiness observing what's happening. At times the sense of self is more present, but it does not represent anything tangible.

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

Presumably it starts at an early age, at some point after one identifies as "that one, the one in the mirror". As life progresses, events create memories that center around the perspective of "me", outside influences and culture attribute characteristics, happenings, expectations, blame, shame, etc. to that "me", and it builds and builds until it's thought to be real. It filters experience through this lens so that experiences are attributed to "me" by default, and on and on. Eventually, something triggers an investigation of whatever is real.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

At the same time liberating and underwhelming? The mind creates a conceptual image of what this realization would look like, complete with bedazzled skies and imperturbable peace. Once it's seen, it's found to be so familiar and so close that the mind says "this is it?" presumably as a last ditch effort to preserve the ego. The ego still shows up to try and claim ownership, and at times is successful for a period, but upon any amount of "hold up, what's real" is seen to be empty of meaning in any absolute sense. History, roles, responsibilities, and thought patterns seem to be the biggest challenges to remaining aware of the truth in any given moment.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

It's hard to say -- it wasn't one specific look that "did it", it was simply realized at some point that this is what is, or maybe just an acceptance that this is what is. There's an inclination to say "I'm still not sure if I get it" but on observation that is clearly thought with no substance whatsoever.

5) Describe decision & give examples from experience.

The mind laying claim to what happens in retrospect. That option was selected, therefore "I" must have chosen it, therefore "I" must exist. "I" didn't decide to complete this assignment, yet typing is happening.

Describe intention & give examples from experience.

Similar to above, but more subtle and nuanced. This one is less clear, but it seems intention is less obviously "claimed" than decisions. Regardless, no one has intention, reality just happens. Intention may be the mind claiming ownership of conditioning and habits?

Describe free will & give examples from experience.

This was seen to be an illusion early on. Thoughts appear regardless, as unpredictable as any event, even logically free will falls apart upon any amount of investigation. There's no inclination of what the next thought will be, therefore "will" is out the window. Intrusive thoughts are an easy example of this.

Describe choice & give examples from experience.

The same as decision -- a thought arises in a circumstance where options are presented, that "choice" is then ascribed to "me". The drink exercise made that abundantly clear.

Describe control & give examples from experience.

Another illusion similar to free will and intention and choice. All mind claiming ownership of what happens. Like the weather just is, behavior and action and outcome just are. Control is a sick illusion, where "wisdom" is equivocated with being able to distinguish between what is in one's control and what isn't. No wonder there's so much confusion.

What makes things happen? How does it work?

The universe unfolding according to itself. Physics, chemistry, biology, etc. are finite studies of this phenomenon, describing "laws" that reflect patterns, but weird shit happens all the time that defy these.

What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

If anything, showing up and witnessing. Not sure that an alternative exists other than to stay unconscious?

6) Anything to add?

Only that the realization isn't complete. Many times it feels like "I" have to remind "myself" to dis identify with thought and settle back into awareness. But that's how the cookie crumbles, and this will evolve and deepen. A veil has been seen through, even if it drops back from time to time, it's impermanent.

Thank you for your patience, guidance, and support. There is peace and gratitude here for always.
Ryan

[Anastacia42]

You're welcome, Ryan, just a couple of clarifying questions.

The ego still shows up to try and claim ownership, and at times is successful for a period, but upon any amount of "hold up, what's real" is seen to be empty of meaning in any absolute sense.

What "ego?" Can you find this "ego" in Direct Experience?

History, roles, responsibilities, and thought patterns seem to be the biggest challenges to remaining aware of the truth in any given moment.

Can you find "history, roles, responsibilities" in Direct Experience?

Thoughts arise, yes. But can you see that their story content is all made up?

What makes things happen? How does it work?
The universe unfolding according to itself. Physics, chemistry, biology, etc. are finite studies of this phenomenon, describing "laws" that reflect patterns, but weird shit happens all the time that defy these.

So, do you know, in Direct Experience what makes things happen?

Does SEEING ever actually go away?

Loving,
Stacy

[frakifiknow]

What "ego?" Can you find this "ego" in Direct Experience?

As a collection of thoughts, almost equivalent to "I". That being said, content ignored, no, just thought.

Can you find "history, roles, responsibilities" in Direct Experience?

Same answer as above. When content is discarded, which is not DE, then no.

Thoughts arise, yes. But can you see that their story content is all made up?

Yes, without doubt. But it doesn't mean they don't distract. Lots of fiction is compelling, but that doesn't make it true.

[Anastacia42]

Okay, how does it FEEL to see that there's no self? No control, free will, choice, etc?
We are looking for a felt shift in perspective, not just more thinking.

Much love,

Stacy

[frakifiknow]

Okay, how does it FEEL to see that there's no self? No control, free will, choice, etc?

It's a huge freaking relief! "I" thought free will, choice, self were things that were to be desired, hated, managed and controlled, fretted over, ashamed of, proud of, etc. Simply along for the ride is much more peaceful.

[Anastacia42]

Very good then. I'm going to share your answers with other guides who may have questions. Stay tuned.

[Anastacia42]

Ryan, another guide has these 2 questions:


1."...emptiness observing what's happening." Why there must be someone or something to observe?

2. "At times the sense of self is more present, but it does not represent anything tangible" at DE how sense of self is experienced? Is there such thing at all?

Thank you

Stacy

[frakifiknow]

1."...emptiness observing what's happening." Why there must be someone or something to observe?

It's knowing, it's existence, it's happening. Maybe language fails here, but the "emptiness" references the sense of "I am" devoid of content.

2. "At times the sense of self is more present, but it does not represent anything tangible" at DE how sense of self is experienced? Is there such thing at all?

It feels like at times mind identification overtakes awareness, thoughts of "I" this and that start to distract from DE. There is no self, no, but thought can make it appear that way at times, especially during the regular day to day. It's laughable at times -- during meditation, it's like a chorus of thoughts hollering about "I am..." or "I feel..." almost desperately, desiring attention.

[Anastacia42]

Good SEEING!

No more questions here, you're through the Gateless Gate. Please join us on Facebook or in video groups if you want support & the camaraderie of others who have seen.

I'm Stacy Ann Clark in Colorado if you'd like to connect there.

It's been my pleasure!

Loving,
Stacy

[frakifiknow]

Thank you for the guidance, Stacy. It's been a great help. What you and the others are doing is really powerful, hopefully our exchange can provide others with the same kind of support.

Take care,

Ryan

[Anastacia42]

Yes! Peace on Earth - one mind at a time.

It was a pleasure.

Have fun!

Stacy

[Anastacia42]

Next meeting on zoom

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