The Gate

Good morning!

First, yes. Good on the exercise. Apologies for not changing "Justin" to "John."

Second,

I’ve been more naturally and frequently going to the experience of the body (sensation) when stronger feeling arise, vs staying in the head.

The seeing that the self NEVER existed has been dissolving the idea that something needs to be found or gained. In turn, a budding realization that the past or future does not influence NOW.

VERY good!

That said, a strange thing is happening. When a certain memories come up, more and more they are accompanied by a sensation of regret or remorse. In most cases there is nothing in particular about the memory that should cause that feeling??

Can you notice that "regret" and "remorse" are only thought content, labels for body Sensation in the same family of Sensation as lying? Tight, contracted, heavy?

Let's look at both Time and Memory. I'll give you both.



Time Exercise

There is a general assumption that there is linear time that started (if started at all) somewhere very far in the past and advances to the distant future. The present moment (now) is considered to be a very small fragment of time, or an event that is moving forward on a linear line, coming from the past and advancing to the future.

But is there an experience of the ’now’ moving along the line of time?

Any experience of one ‘moment’ giving way to the next?

Is there any actual or direct experience of one event following another?

How fast is the ‘present moment’ actually moving?

Just look at 'this moment', can you find a point where it began?

How long does the ‘now’ last?

Where does the ‘now’ start, and where does it end?

When does the ‘now’ exactly become the 'past'?

What is the ‘past’ in actual experience?

So is there actual experience of ‘time’ or thoughts about ‘time’?



Memory Exercise

Almost everybody believes that a memory thought is referring to something that has happened. That a memory thought is a different thought than a non-memory thought.

Please don’t go to thought explanations, but just let a memory be there, and look at it.

Look at what is actually going on and not what thoughts say - but what actually is.

What is memory exactly?

What is the memory ‘made of’?

WHEN does the memory appear?

What is the exact difference between a ‘general’ thought and a ‘memory’ thought?

How is it known EXACTLY that a ‘memory’ thought refers to something that has happened?

Then, look at a thought about the future.

What is the future thought ‘made of’?

WHEN does the future thought appear?

What is the exact difference between a ‘general’ thought and a ‘future’ thought?

How is it known EXACTLY that a ‘future’ thought refers to something that will happen?

Then let’s compare a thought about past and a thought about the future.

What is the EXACT difference between the thoughts about past and future?

If there is difference and how is that difference is known exactly?



No hurry.

Loving,

~ Stacy

Can you notice that "regret" and "remorse" are only thought content, labels for body Sensation in the same family of Sensation as lying? Tight, contracted, heavy?

Yes, that’s where I went when I felt those feelings. And I saw they were most closely aligned with the lying type sensation. It then led me the question of whether I was feeling them because I had functioned in a way that was based on a lie – the big lie of there being a self. It’s just so strange that I would feel those feelings in what was random memories.

Time Exercise

I should mention that I’ve experimented with the experience of time in a similar way to this exercise. Rupert Spira, who was someone I’ve listened to, has given quite a few guided meditations that are very similar. My ‘seeing’ the fallacy of time in the past has occurred, but has been fleeting. I think that’s because the idea of time is so engrained in me and I habitually reference that ‘knowledge’ regardless of its legitimacy.

To the best of my ability I did this exercise with fresh seeing by truly looking only at experience.

But is there an experience of the ’now’ moving along the line of time?

I can’t seem to find a thing which we label as ‘now’.

Any experience of one ‘moment’ giving way to the next?

No, only ever present this-ness.

Is there any actual or direct experience of one event following another?

No. No isolatable thing called events. Only constant stream of event-ing.

How fast is the ‘present moment’ actually moving?

The present moment isn’t moving at all. Seems to be more like ever changing awareness.

Just look at 'this moment', can you find a point where it began?

No

How long does the ‘now’ last?

Now is a concept that ultimately can’t be delineated or measured.

Where does the ‘now’ start, and where does it end?

Same

When does the ‘now’ exactly become the 'past'?

Where is the past exactly? Can something go there? I don’t see that.

What is the ‘past’ in actual experience?

No different than any other experience. The assignment of something to the ‘past’ is just another concept.

So is there actual experience of ‘time’ or thoughts about ‘time’?

No.

I want to do this exercise again tomorrow. Will post again.

Thank you.

Sure, that's great.

Not a lot to add from yesterday's experience having done the exercise again.

But is there an experience of the ’now’ moving along the line of time?

Any experience of one ‘moment’ giving way to the next?

Is there any actual or direct experience of one event following another?

It is clear that “the now”, “events”, and “moments” are just ideas. There is no such thing in reality because they are not discrete things.

How fast is the ‘present moment’ actually moving?

The present moment doesn’t move.

So is there actual experience of ‘time’ or thoughts about ‘time’?

Only thoughts. I wanted to redo this exercise because this seeing is fairly earth-shattering.

I’m not sure it has fully sunk in to my being.

I do the memory exercise tomorrow.

🙏
John

Very good.

Take your time for it all to sink in

Much love,

What is memory exactly?

A thought experience and an image in the mind.

What is the memory ‘made of’?

What any thought experience is made of. I guess we can call is consciousness.

WHEN does the memory appear?

Now

What is the exact difference between a ‘general’ thought and a ‘memory’ thought?

Only the content.

How is it known EXACTLY that a ‘memory’ thought refers to something that has happened?

It can’t be known for sure. There isn’t anything/anyone that governs the legitimacy of memories. Everything related to such an activity is also just a thought.

I’m struggling to reconcile the previous exercise to this. If time is just a concept, and there is no past, how can something have “happened”?

Then, look at a thought about the future.

What is the future thought ‘made of’?

Same as any thought, only different content.

WHEN does the future thought appear?

Now

What is the exact difference between a ‘general’ thought and a ‘future’ thought?

Nothing other than content

How is it known EXACTLY that a ‘future’ thought refers to something that will happen?

It can’t be known. It’s just a thought.

T

hen let’s compare a thought about past and a thought about the future.

What is the EXACT difference between the thoughts about past and future?

Only content.

If there is difference and how is that difference is known exactly?

No difference

Right you are! ALL of it is just thought content. It's made up!

struggling to reconcile the previous exercise to this. If time is just a concept, and there is no past, how can something have “happened”?

It can't! It's all still just a made up story.

Just sit & let that sink in.

Or as Ram Das said, "be here now." Nothing else.

Later, report how that goes.

Loving

Hi Stacy.

Just sit & let that sink in.

Or as Ram Das said, "be here now." Nothing else.

Later, report how that goes.

Still letting it sink in.

There’s a recurring energy of thought trying to figure all this out, which of course it can’t. New stories can’t help to see through other stories. That knowing shines more and more.

I do have a question. While we put value in DE to see through the illusion of thought, even that experience must be without a certain reality, right? I ask because otherwise the idea that something (i.e. a DE) “happened” would have to be true, and there is no past.

Perhaps just more unnecessary thought. 😉

Thank you,
John

Good morning,

While we put value in DE to see through the illusion of thought, even that experience must be without a certain reality, right? I ask because otherwise the idea that something (i.e. a DE) “happened” would have to be true, and there is no past.

You're right. When you get down to it, we can't even prove there's a "now" with any DE. One of my teachers sometimes said, "now, and now, and now" illustrating that the moment "now" is spoken, it's gone. So, yes. And it's how we navigate this illusory relative "reality," but in the Absolute? You're right - ain't no such thing.

The crux of the answer to that is: don't confuse the relative with the absolute.

Mostly, we live in an illusory relative reality, but with the peace of knowing that in the absolute,, there is no "self." There's no "me," (absolute) but if I step out in front of a bus, "I" will die.

Equally, in the absolute, no children died, but in the relative, 19 children horrifically died. Paradox.

Take a deep breath. You're doing great.

Much love,

Hi again,

This may seem a little random, but if you're on vacation in a cabin somewhere, I'm going to assume you may have a little more (of this illusory relative) time. So, I want to circle back to 2 more exercises that I could have brought up earlier, one on "sense of self" and another on hearing, since you were trying that earlier.

Hearing Exercise

Find somewhere quiet to sit. Rest for a moment and listen to the sounds in the room where you are, or sounds from outside. Whatever it is, I'll just refer to it as 'what can be heard'.

1) In 'hearing' can anything be found other than 'what can be heard'?

2) Can what is doing the hearing be found? Or is there only 'what can be heard'?

3) An 'I'? a 'body'? a 'person'? a brain? a pair of ears?

Can these be found doing the hearing? Or is there just 'what can be heard'?

What do you find?

Can an INHERENT HEARER be found? Would anything that is suggested as the hearer, be anything other than a concept/idea/thought?

And this one:

Explore ‘Sense of Self’

Let’s say that you have lost your keys and you swear that you left them in your coat. You go to look and check all the pockets - the keys are not there. You swear they must be as that was the last place you remember them. You have a vivid memory of putting them there after you left the house. But when you check they are not there. At this point you can keep believing that the keys are in your pocket, or you can admit you were mistaken.

This is just like that. You may see clearly that the self is an illusion but still feel a sense of self - just like the keys. But feeling something to be true and seeing that it is or is not is different. This is why we may find ourselves coming back to your expectations at the start and at the end.

Now, I’d like to ask you to explore this SENSE of self very-very thoroughly. Not by thinking about it, but by FEELING it. Keep the focus of attention on the sense of self and inquire:

Does the sense of self have a location?

Does the sense of self have a shape or a size?

Does the sense of self say or communicate anything?

If the answer is yes, how does the sense do this exactly?

Does the sense of self have any characteristics or attributes?

What is the sense of self ‘made of’? An image? Sound? Taste? Smell? Sensation? Thought?

What is found?

Whenever.

Loving,

Hi Stacy,

First, thank you for the words on absolute vs relative reality, and for confirmation of the absolute. 😉

Mostly, we live in an illusory relative reality, but with the peace of knowing that in the absolute,, there is no "self."

That makes a lot of sense to me.

Hearing Exercise:

1) In 'hearing' can anything be found other than 'what can be heard'?

No

2) Can what is doing the hearing be found? Or is there only 'what can be heard'?

Nothing doing the hearing. I wouldn’t necessarily say there’s ‘what can be heard’ because if looked at closely enough, even that seems to divide reality in some way.

3) An 'I'? a 'body'? a 'person'? a brain? a pair of ears?

Can these be found doing the hearing? Or is there just 'what can be heard'?

Nothing is doing the hearing. There is only hearing

What do you find?

Tonight the questions seem less needed for truth of no self to be seen

Can an INHERENT HEARER be found? Would anything that is suggested as the hearer, be anything other than a concept/idea/thought?

Only an idea of the mind

I did the sense of self exercise previously but want to do it again. Will do tomorrow.

🙏

John

Sounds good.

We want you to be as clear and sure as possible before I give you "final" questions.

Loving,

Since I had done this exercise before, I chose to answer based on what was noticed generally rather than answering each question.

Does the sense of self have a location?

Does the sense of self have a shape or a size?

Does the sense of self say or communicate anything?

If the answer is yes, how does the sense do this exactly?

Does the sense of self have any characteristics or attributes?

What is the sense of self ‘made of’? An image? Sound? Taste? Smell? Sensation? Thought?

What is found?

The sense of self is a series of thoughts and emotions linked together to form a story.

The story of self comes and goes.

When the self appears in this story, the plot always includes resistance to ‘what is’ accompanied by fear.

The story of self can be very subtle such as the story of the seeker of no self.

Good morning,

So, is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

Do you want to answer "final" questions?



Much love

So, is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

No. No. Not always in the field of awareness but always True.

Do you want to answer "final" questions?

Yes please

🙏