Good evening Ron,
Thank you for sending me some more questions. I do enjoy each work you send me.
1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form?
Was there ever?
There is no separate entity or self . It was my belief that I never explore. I really thought I( Monika) did everything. I have got the power to control and do things my way. But now I know I am nowhere . It was just a thought and a belief. I looked for Monika for the first time with Ron. I was so convinced that I was going to find her . But just found images and lots and lots of thoughts about Monika.
There was never any Monika there. Every scene is just happening and thoughts are coming and tagging Monika is doing it.
2) Share in your own words what the illusion of separate self is and how it shows up in experience.
The illusion of separate self is that you live every scene in life very seriously and think you (Monika )are doing everything. As a self you think everything is happening to you. For an example I (Monika) need to run her life, teach kids ,stay happy and strong and on and on. Every little situation was sticking to Monika. I thought It was happening to Monika. All the time I was trying and just busy with everything, I even thought I have to create peace for myself. So much responsibility.
3) How does it feel to see this?
What is the difference from before you started this dialog?
There is no one who can feel that. Everything is still the same-same situations, same people but the stickyness is gone. Thoughts are still coming and sensations are still happening but they don’t belong to Monika now. The person who was feeling hurt and sad is gone. Everything else is still the same. Something has changed but I don’t know what.
4) What was the last bit that pushed you over; made you Look?
I don’t know the answer for that. It just happened like other things happens . I just really enjoyed looking and questions I received from Ron. It just happened.
) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control.
What makes things happen?
How does it work?
What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.
Decision, intention, free will choices and control are the things you do as a separate self.
I(Monika) always felt I was making the decisions, everything has got be right . I was trying to control every situation even trying to control my mood as well. But I know now that was all my belief and thoughts.
Since I am doing the looking I experienced that things are just happening without ‘me’. Everything is going on and thoughts are just calming, I ( Monika ) has done it all. I am ( Monika) is not responsible for anything. For an example I go to work in a car. I drive from A to B without Monika in it. At the end of the journey thought comes and label ( Monika) drove the car. Same with other situations things just happening automatically , body is doing all the tasks and thoughts are tagging (Monika) made this decision or monika done this task.
Anything to add?
In the end I just want to say big thanks to LU for the brilliant job they are doing. Because of LU I met my guide(guru) Ron. He made everything so simple. I really enjoyed every second of my journey. Thanks Ron for taking good care of me
Kind regards
Monika