The Gate

Thank you. I did the exercise, let’s see.

Can you do this? Isn’t a thought only known as it appears? In that case, can you possibly clam to be in control of the thinking process, the thoughts, choices or impulses that arise, unless you can somehow investigate them beforehand?

I cannot determine what the next thought is going to be. But the thoughts that come are not really surprising, since they usually have something to do with recent thoughts. Or the thoughts are triggered by something in the environment.

Of course, these triggers are themselves thoughts. Seeing a plant is just colors, and thoughts label the sensation and come up with ‘plant’ and related thoughts and memories surrounding this concept.

So it is not necessarily surprising what kind of thoughts come up. But it is impossible to tell which exact thoughts will come up and also which ‘triggers’ are going to be activated. And I can see that - if you have no direct say in what thoughts come up, then there is no free will. Since a lot of actions are based on thoughts.

Do you have unpleasant thoughts? Do you want to have them? If you had any control over thoughts, don’t you think you would choose not to think such thoughts at all?
Wouldn’t you be able to choose never to have thoughts that seem to make you unhappy?

This is true. If ‘I’ had a say in this, I would only think happy thoughts.

Can you ever find a ‘me’ within the “me” thoughts and feelings, or just a sense of me?

No. I can’t find a me in the ‘me’ thoughts. It is only thoughts built upon thoughts. And this creates an sense of me.

Where are they arising?
Are they inside something?
Are they central to you, or are they peripheral?
Do they leave any trace when they have gone?

They just arise. There used to be the idea that they arise in the head, but the head is just a concept. There’s just arising. It’s a sensation that’s experienced and it leaves no trace.

I’ve been staring at my hand a lot too. Just moving it like you instructed, and finding a ‘mover’ that moves the hand. It’s still not there. But still, I just can’t seem to get rid of the feeling that there is control over the body. So the hand is not moving because of thoughts, because thought is not needed for movement. But still it feels like the impulse to move comes from me and I have direct control over this.

So this is what I’m not seeing clearly. I can’t find a ‘me’ doing the moving, but somewhere I’m not convinced. Not sure how to explain this.

💛

I just can’t seem to get rid of the feeling that there is control over the body.

Can you find that feeling and tell me where is it located ?
Can you describe this feeling and tell me what does it look like ?

Can you find that feeling and tell me where is it located ?
Can you describe this feeling and tell me what does it look like ?

Ah! Yes! This sense of control is a thought, another concept. There is movement of the hand, that is all. There is no direct experience of control, only the direct experience of the movement and the thought. The idea that I control the hand is exactly that - an idea. Gosh, it's so easy to slip back into the illusion.

Thank you! 💛

Can you find that feeling and tell me where is it located ?
Can you describe this feeling and tell me what does it look like ?

Ah! Yes! This sense of control is a thought, another concept. There is movement of the hand, that is all. There is no direct experience of control, only the direct experience of the movement and the thought. The idea that I control the hand is exactly that - an idea. Gosh, it's so easy to slip back into the illusion.

Thank you! 💛

Very good.
Yes it is easy yo slip back to illusion when you dont' look.
This will settle in slowly.
Looking once or twice a day isn't enough. Every time the idea of self-control appears you have to look...
Looking is the key.
Now one more time,

Are you in control?
Is there any sense of self? Can you find any "me" anywhere?
Any questions?

Can you tell me directly from reality, from your direct experience..
What is past/history and future?
What is distant planets?
What is the sky?
What is others?
Are they real?
What are they really?

Are you in control?
Is there any sense of self? Can you find any "me" anywhere?
Any questions?

No. There is no 'me' controlling life. It happens by itself.

What is past/history and future?
What is distant planets?
What is the sky?
What is others?
Are they real?
What are they really?

It's all thought. Labels and concepts created by thoughts upon thoughts. There is only here and now, and other planets cannot be experienced by me. There's only sensations. The sky isn't a sky, until there's a label. Before that it's just colors without meaning, just bare experience.

Are you in control?
Is there any sense of self? Can you find any "me" anywhere?
Any questions?

No. There is no 'me' controlling life. It happens by itself.

What is past/history and future?
What is distant planets?
What is the sky?
What is others?
Are they real?
What are they really?

It's all thought. Labels and concepts created by thoughts upon thoughts. There is only here and now, and other planets cannot be experienced by me. There's only sensations. The sky isn't a sky, until there's a label. Before that it's just colors without meaning, just bare experience.

Wonderful seeing.
Thank you.
i see that you've seen through the illusion. but even after seeing through the illusion of an individual “I”, is still going to do what it’s going to do, and that’s okay. It’s a labeling machine, and that’s not going to change. What changes is the belief and attachment to the labels, stories, and concepts it creates. The sense of self will still be there too. Thoughts, feelings, and emotions all still come, but again, it’s the belief and attachment to them as happening to an individual “me” that begins to diminish, and continues diminishing with time.
so I see that it's all clear for you and it is time for your final questions..

If you have no more questions final questions are coming..
We will be again looking to your answers and if something is not clear we will be picking from your answers and look again.
Thank you for your clear dedicated attention.

Yes! Ok, here we go. :)

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form?
Was there ever?

No, there is not. ‘I’ is nothing but a thought, built upon other thoughts. It’s all thought, nothing real.

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience.
Describe it fully as you see it now.

It’s the idea that there’s ‘someone’ inside my body, inside my head, that is making decisions, is feeling pain and is actually living this life. I guess it started when I was a kid, and grew more strong from there. And now that I’m getting used to this feeling, I kind of feel that this idea gained traction around my 16th. Before that time I felt much more ‘in love’ with life, lived more in the flow and was very good at being mindful and experiencing life as it comes. From that age onwards the ‘I’ started to worry about stuff, about money and success, and it went deeper and deeper.

From how I see it, this whole realization is like returning to my childhood. Seeing more clearly, experiencing more fully. Shedding all this weight I was carrying around. All these useless concepts and ideas.

And I always felt something was wrong. Because when people compliment me on my work, I never really understand at what the compliment is directed. It’s not that I think less of my work - I think it’s good work and it deserves compliments. But I never felt like ‘I’ created it. It feels more as a flowing, an unfolding. And now I see that it’s silly to just try harder to ‘own’ the compliments - because this feeling that I had is exactly the truth.

There is no ‘I’ creating anything. It just happens as it happens. And sometimes I’m surprised by it myself - and I love that.

The illusion of I is a contraction, an effort to protect life. But in doing that, it’s seeping a lot of ‘life’ out of it. Everything feels more heavy, more complicated, more serious. While in reality there is nothing to be serious about. This seriousness is just another thought, another believe. There’s just being - and it’s hilarious how complicated I used to make it.

3) How does it feel to see this?
What is the difference from before you started this dialogue?
Please report from the past few days.

I would say it feels very subtle. I guess I kind of expected there to be more of a breakthrough, but there’s none. Well, there is, but it’s all so subtle.

So now I really understand this whole ‘Gateless gate’ analogy, it makes total sense. Nothing happend, nothing needed to change, it is only looking and then it’s finished. And also I can relate to the Santa Clause metaphor - like when you realize he’s not real, you just KNOW. That’s it. You can’t start believing in Santa Clause again.

But what I mostly experience is a slow shifting towards integrating these new insights. I notice a certain spaciousness. I feel less stressed about stuff in daily life. I do experience other ‘stress’ in a way - because of this integrating. It’s like this process started something that I’ll have to work trough the coming weeks. Sleep sometimes is a bit weird, because my brain is trying to make sense of my new reality.

And during the day, I mostly feel more awareness and appreciation for life. A feeling of ‘awe’ when I’m walking outside. The city, nature, it’s all so interesting and beautiful. Also I feel more acceptance and surrender to ‘what is’. Since I know there is no other way for it to be.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

So during the conversation I was working trough the idea of ‘continuity’ and memories. And this statement really moved something in me:

There is no previous action. There is only now. All thoughts about a past is imaginary.

So for the first time in my life I suddenly got what this whole ‘there is only NOW’ talk actually entails. And it’s incredible. It’s the silliest thing to overlook, but I overlook it all the time. I was like: WOW - there really is only now. Not in a ‘there is now, and then there is another now, and yesterday there was a now’ - NO.

It’s one big eternal thing. One moment. The rest is just thought.

So that was a moment of: holy sh*t - this is amazing! Look at this NOW! It’s so interesting and hilariously overlooked!

Another thing that made all the difference is the explanations that guided me to really start looking in direct experience. Because I thought I did, but I didn’t. And it helped me to see the thoughts for what they are. As soon as I got this, things started to unravel.

5) a) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control.

Ok, so thoughts just come. There is no control over this. They arrive and they leave. Choices are based on thought. And since there’s nobody doing the thinking (it happens by itself) - there’s no control.

b) What makes things happen? How does it work?

Life is living itself. It doesn’t need or take input. It is an unfolding. In one eternal now. And since there is no ‘I’, there is no reason to assume that other people have an ‘I’. And that means nobody is ‘doing’ anything. It is just consciousnesses experiencing itself. I don’t really know how it works, but it works. And that’s all that matters.

c) What are you responsible for?

Who is this ‘you’ you’re talking about? ;)

Since there is no I that is controlling any of this - I’d say: nothing. There is nothing to do. Of course I already read about this concept beforehand. And it's like experiencing the NOW - this reality runs so much deeper then it sounds. So simple and at the same time so endlessly weird.

I'm really used to grab onto my thoughts and live inside this illusion of control. So even though I've seen trough this illusion, it's going to take more looking and more time to really integrate it.

And this still weirds me out, but there it is. There is nothing to do. There is only being, and that happens by itself. Life's an eternal vacation. Or better, an endless theatre spectacle and I get to watch it unfold.

6) Anything to add?

Well, I am wondering about something. So Liberation Unleashed has a recommended books list. And the first recommended book is the book by Jed McKenna. I’ve been reading his books, and I’m kind of confused where this all fits in.

Is this what Jed calls ‘the first step’? Because it can’t be full enlightenment since that’s supposedly about being at ‘war’ and years of struggle. And this was actually quite fun.

Besides this - I just want to thank you Adil for your time, patience and insights. It was great to work with you and like I said, I had a lot of fun. I’m grateful that you were the one to guide me to these insights and I wish you well. 💛

Thank you for your answers dear..
I am now going to ask the other guides to have a look at your responses to make sure that we have covered everything and to ensure my guiding has been clear, therefore you are clear that there is no separate self. This may take a couple of day and they may or may not have some further questions for you. Once I get the go ahead, you will then be invited to join the Aftercare group on FB.
Sending love
It was a nice smooth flowing conversation.
Thank you

Well, I am wondering about something. So Liberation Unleashed has a recommended books list. And the first recommended book is the book by Jed McKenna. I’ve been reading his books, and I’m kind of confused where this all fits in.

Is this what Jed calls ‘the first step’? Because it can’t be full enlightenment since that’s supposedly about being at ‘war’ and years of struggle. And this was actually quite fun.
💛

Well there are lots of "ideas" about what enlightenment is. I suggest don't follow any of them.These are all concepts. It is simply realizing that there is no self - no controller any kind and seeing through the illusions. Like i always did I kindly suggest you to always look your direct experience instead of thought content and concepts :)
There are various ideas that this realization must take time, lots of effort and struggle but as it is said they are all "Ideas"
Now it is your time of peeling, not adding more concepts.
Don't think
Look ;)
Love Sent!

One of my guide friends asked me to remind you this regarding your reply to "anything to add" question;

"Realising 'no self' is just the beginning and not an ending. Doubt and confusion will arise, which is normal. There are still beliefs and patterns that are rooted in the idea of being a separate self that will need clearing as not everything gets rewritten in one big hit...so yo-yoing happens.
There is clear seeing that there is no self and in the next moment this clarity is seems to vanish..
All normal experiences.
Continuing to LOOK after the realisation is very much the key."

Now it is your time of peeling, not adding more concepts.
Don't think
Look ;)

Haha, yes! I knew you were going to say this. Thank you so much. It's time to stop reading and start looking better and deeper. :)

Realising 'no self' is just the beginning and not an ending. Doubt and confusion will arise, which is normal.

Great - good to hear it's normal. Because confusion is definitely experienced.

Continuing to LOOK after the realisation is very much the key.

Yes - I'll put the books aside for the coming weeks, and spend more time looking. Makes it all less confusing too. Thank you. 💛

Hello again
Also one of my dear guide friend reminded me that i forgot to ask question 5-c
Can you also please answer as a last question:

So we must modify q5 like this.
Waiting for your last reply;
Thank you
Sending love


5) a) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work? Give an example from your own recent experiences to how things happens and how things work.
b) What are you responsible for?
c) Give examples from your own recent experiences to how all this works.

hello "Noworries!"
make some noise!
;)