Hi Ossie,
All right answers - and are you able to relax & LOOK?
Remember:
Before I was trying hard, but during I was relaxed. It was certainly unexpected and not the direct result of my trying. . . .
Short answer – relaxed.
This effort below will keep you from SEEING:
I keep trying to explain it and intellectualise by giving examples (like music but I deleted it) but I know that is part of myself thinking and taking credit.
There is an exercise I'd like for you to try.
We've seen that thoughts just arise and that their content means nothing. We gave it that meaning in an attempt to communicate, but it really amounts to absolutely nothing. This exercise is about looking for the space, the place, from which thoughts arise. Remember! Like all of these exercises, it is the LOOKING that matters, NOT something called "right answer."
In fact, if you LOOKED and saw and found yourself in that clear place of seeing no self and never posted again, that would be better than a million "right answers." Of course, I'd like to know and hear about it, but this isn't for me, this is for ... well, something we will call "you."
It has been shown for at least about 30 years that we are not aware when we make a decision or have a thought. There is a lag. Up to 2 seconds, which is a long time. So WHO is doing this thing called "thinking?" Not us! Thoughts arise. Then we make up a story that some thing called "I" had some thing we are calling a "thought." By the time we are telling this story, the thought is gone . . . to wherever they go.
In this exercise, instead of following thought or seeing the gaps between thoughts or trying to stop thought, we are going to relax into noticing that "space," for lack of a better word, from which thoughts arise. This requires a LOT of relaxation and allowing.
Sit quietly. Notice thoughts arising and leaving, arising and leaving, somewhat as you did before. Then either notice one of them or throw in some thought of your own, like "elephant" or something.
Instead of trying to follow the thought, track it backwards to where that thought began. And then go one more step, to the place before that thought began. Relaxing now, just REST in the space where thoughts arise. When another thought arises, track it back again, relaxing and noticing the place from which thoughts arise. Again, REST in the space from which thoughts arise. Do this as many times as you like, RESTING each time until some other thought arises and track it back again, relaxing in that space again from which thoughts arise.
Then after doing this several times, notice - does that "place" from which thoughts arise have any size? Any shape? Is there any edge to it? On any side? Up, down? Left? Right? Backwards? Forwards? Can you find any edge?
Is there a time when that space did not exist? Is there any time in which it will not exist? Just check.
Track another thought back. Does the place care what the content of that thought is? Or does it just arise and leave? Rest in that place. Let your entire body rest in that place from which thoughts arise.
Just keep following thoughts back and then one more step, relaxing there where thoughts arise.
Do it until you feel "done."
Repeat this a few times. Don't shortchange yourself by doing it too quickly or too few times. Luxuriate in that relaxation in the place that is found, before thought arises.
Let me know what arises.
Much love,
