GETIT!

[Kixem]

I don’t see anything that has/owns doubts, I only see thoughts about doubts, unclarity, resistance. All homeless. Clouds, passing by..rudderless, insubstantial.

[Matthew]

In other words, NO, I do not have a personality. I hope I am clear..

In this light: Do you have a story?

Is or was there a journey of a someone on a path?
Or did this also just happen in thought?
In other words: Did it happen at all in reality?

[Kixem]

Hi Matthew,

In this light: Do you have a story?

Is or was there a journey of a someone on a path?
Or did this also just happen in thought?
In other words: Did it happen at all in reality?

No. Most definitely “I” do not “have” a story. Stuff happened,as stuff always happens, I was not consulted on any of it, I did not cause any of this to happen. Nothing personal. Life unfolding. Evernow.
No individual paths. No paths. “I” is not separate, different, or any more or less part of the one living reality. It happened, the way it happened, in my imagination. It’s all concocted, made up. It’s al interpretations. Reality according to “I”.

[Matthew]

To have a look at some of the more popular beliefs within the spiritual swamp:


Is there a thing or a one, which could realise selflessness?

Is there someone to be "enlightened" or "not enlightened"?

Is there a one or a "mind" that needs cleansing from mental afflictions?


Is there a one or a thing, which could accumulate bad karma or merit?
Is "karma" or "merit" more than a thought?
Do these things even exist apart from imagination?

[Kixem]

Hi Matthew,

To have a look at some of the more popular beliefs within the spiritual swamp:

..spiritual swamp!..

Is there a thing or a one, which could realise selflessness?

‪If there is no self, as we have not seen any, when we looked,(even though very often, still, we forget and thoughts of confusion, unclarity, doubt, resistance, fear, etc, arise, and credence is given them, albeit temporarily..), then the whole proposition seems absurd. No, there’s nothing which could possibly realize selflessness, because there’s no self, the self-less-ness or self-full-ness of which can be realized. ‬

Is there someone to be "enlightened" or "not enlightened"?

‪No, there’s light; there’s either seeing light or not seeing light. ‬

Is there a one or a "mind" that needs cleansing from mental afflictions?

‪This is a hard one..Can I take a pass on this one?..(ha ha..)‬
‪There’s a brain, doing its thing, “braining”, as all brains do, firing its synapses, left and right. If that “braining” doesn’t conform with with the opinion other brains have about proper/acceptable “braining”, they give that brain drugs to have it approximate their opinion. What about addictions? I don’t know..‬
I know, all of this leaves the question unanswered, “Is there a one or a "mind" that needs cleansing from mental afflictions?”/addictions? I’m having some difficulty seeing clearly.

Is there a one or a thing, which could accumulate bad karma or merit?

Beliefs not withstanding,no, nothing, bad karma or merit can stick to. Life unfolds. Not personal. The universe is universing and there’s no room for personal evaluations. No sin.

Is "karma" or "merit" more than a thought?
Do these things even exist apart from imagination?

Concepts, conjectures, projections, pure, unadulterated speculation.

[Matthew]

even though very often, still, we forget and thoughts of confusion, unclarity, doubt, resistance, fear, etc, arise, and credence is given them, albeit temporarily..

Thoughts with this kind of content can keep arising or subside.
It does not matter that much.
In fact, it is a great opportunity to have a look:

There are thoughts about "confusion", for instance.

Does anything HAVE this confusion?
Is there anything or anyone confused?
Do these thoughts happen to someone, or to no one?

Is the "one", thought says is confused, not also just a thought?
Can a thought be confused?

Is there confused experience?
Or is there experience of confusion?

What about addictions? I don’t know..‬

There can be still an appearance of disorder within the story. And it is still okay to feel bad about it and get treatment.
But that's story content. That's not what we're here for.

‪There’s a brain, doing its thing, “braining”, as all brains do, firing its synapses, left and right.

How is it known in actual experience HERE NOW that there is a brain, that also does things?
Can this be known right now? Or is that just memory/thought content?

Is there a one or a "mind" that needs cleansing from mental afflictions?

If this question doesn't ring a bell, then it is fine. We don't have to go in there.
IF you wish to:
What I'm talking about here is "desire, aversion, ignorance, hatred, pride".
These appearances are often labelled as "bad".
Is "desire" really "bad"?
Or is "bad" just a thought, like "desire"?

To come back to the original question:
Is there something or someone which could be afflicted by and therefore needs purification from "bad things" like "desire, craving..."?

[Kixem]

‪Yesterday I spent a considerable amount of time(which is in rather limited availability), pouring my guts out on pixels(which is definitely not my favorite pass time, as I don’t know how to type..) and when I was done and ready to submit it I lost the connection and my typed message as a result.(on the bright side, I was surprised to see how nonchalantly I took the whole incident..)‬
‪So, at this point, I feel lost, unsettled, like something is wrong, something is not clicking..it seems as though I’m not getting it, or I’m missing the point. My expectations are not met. It seems that reading all those stories, in both books, of how people “got it” was an impediment for me. My curiosity and genuine interest was sufficiently aroused at that point, before I read the books, and didn’t need to go on, forming expectations and salivating over it. So now, as much as I’ve tried I can’t go past my expectations of a clear passing through a gate from “unknowing” to “knowing”. And my experience doesn’t conform to my expectations. All these people had their clear “aha” moment, why can’t I have one? What’s wrong with this picture?‬
‪I feel a little overwhelmed, disappointed, and mildly depressed. I’ve lost my footing, if I ever had one. It’s as though the old software was purged and the new software has been downloaded and now it needs to be installed and become operational. And it ain’t happening. I don’t know what all of this, we have been working on the last month or so, means, what the implications are.‬

To come back to the original question:
Is there something or someone which could be afflicted by and therefore needs purification from "bad things" like "desire, craving..."?

‪While it’s true that when I look there is no one that could be afflicted by all this, yes, I wish I am liberated of "desire, aversion, ignorance, hatred, pride, opinions, endless commentary on everything, judgments” etc., all the “bad things”.‬
What now then?

[Matthew]

It’s as though the old software was purged and the new software has been downloaded and now it needs to be installed and become operational.

How about no new software at all?
How about just this?

passing through a gate from “unknowing” to “knowing”

How about this:
From "knowing" to "unknowing"?
Look at what you think you know. Whatever it is. Isn't all of that just thought, just memories and stories?
Is there any evidence that these are true?
Are they relevant in the Now?
If you are 100% certain that you have a certain knowledge and if you are 100% positive about the truth content of this knowledge, please tell me what that is!


Now I want you to just look at what is here now.
Nothing else!
That's very important.
What is here? A story of a seeker to liberation? No, that's not here now. That's just a story.
"Past", "Future", "something else"...
These are just thought. They do not exist apart from a thought story. These are not NOW.

What we also need is one moment of blankness regarding expectations.
Consider the possibility, that what will be discovered here is NOTHING like what can be expected through thought.
Consider the possibility that ANYTHING could happen or not happen.
Surrender.

Look HERE NOW:

While it’s true that when I look there is no one that could be afflicted by all this, yes, I wish I am liberated of "desire, aversion, ignorance, hatred, pride, opinions, endless commentary on everything, judgments” etc., all the “bad things”.‬

Yes, these unpleasant things happen.
Who or what do they belong to when they happen?
Do they belong to something? Can this "something" be found here now in direct experience?
Or do they belong to no thing, do they just happen within this.

Do they belong to someone? Can a "someone" be found here now in direct experience?
Or do they belong to no one, do they just appear within this.

Is there, in this very moment, anything here that needs liberation from anything?

[Kixem]

How about no new software at all?
How about just this?

‪“this”, is nothingness, void , space, emptiness(‬Abgeschiedenheit?)

How about this:
From "knowing" to "unknowing"?
Look at what you think you know. Whatever it is. Isn't all of that just thought, just memories and stories?
Is there any evidence that these are true?
Are they relevant in the Now?
If you are 100% certain that you have a certain knowledge and if you are 100% positive about the truth content of this knowledge, please tell me what that is!

‪This is one of the first things I said in my initial posting, and I mean it. I really, really know nothing. And the only certainty I have is that. All is just thoughts, memories, stories, conjectures, pure speculation. I’m willing to, and indeed I do, question all that I think I know. ‬

Now I want you to just look at what is here now.
Nothing else!
That's very important.
What is here? A story of a seeker to liberation? No, that's not here now. That's just a story.
"Past", "Future", "something else"...
These are just thought. They do not exist apart from a thought story. These are not NOW.

‪Breathing, quietness(relative), looking, a mint in my mouth, pressure of my behind on chair, still breathing, thoughts about this and that, is what is here now. ‬

What we also need is one moment of blankness regarding expectations.

‪Ah, yes a holy moment, a silent night..(I couldn’t resist, considering the night..), that is the objective, “a moment of blankness”, how can this come about?‬

Consider the possibility, that what will be discovered here is NOTHING like what can be expected through thought.
Consider the possibility that ANYTHING could happen or not happen.
Surrender.

‪Yes. Give me that “one moment of blankness”, that “surrender” and I’ll consider anything!‬

Yes, these unpleasant things happen.
Who or what do they belong to when they happen?

‪There’s the awareness of them happening. ‬

‪Do they belong to something? Can this "something" be found here now in direct experience?‬

‪No ownership. They just appear. ‬

‪

Is there, in this very moment, anything here that needs liberation from anything?‬

‪No, other than a thought with the content: “I need liberation”. ‬

(It really blows my mind that a human being in the other side of the planet cares enough to stay with this old curmudgeon until he sees the truth. It’s incredible! I’m very grateful to you and I deeply admire and appreciate your commitment. Thank you! Merry Christmas!)

[Matthew]

Consider the possibility, that what will be discovered here is NOTHING like what can be expected through thought.
Consider the possibility that ANYTHING could happen or not happen.
Surrender.

‪Yes. Give me that “one moment of blankness”, that “surrender” and I’ll consider anything!‬

The blankness can come through honestly and fully considering this.

How about no new software at all?
How about just this?

‪“this”, is nothingness, void , space, emptiness(‬Abgeschiedenheit?)

This is what is.

Is there, in this very moment, anything here that needs liberation from anything?‬

‪No, other than a thought with the content: “I need liberation”. ‬

So when this is clear...
Can a thought need liberation?
Can a thought be free or not free?
Is there anyone or anything right know, which is not free?

If there is nothing to be found, which needs liberation.
Who or what then needs liberation?
And what is curious about all this right now? (look "behind you" right now)


Could it be that ALL of this, this converstation right now included, is just a dream/a thought story about a non-existent self on its non-existent, never ending path?

[Kixem]

So when this is clear...

Hmmm..., methinks it is..

Can a thought need liberation?

No.

Can a thought be free or not free?

No.

Is there anyone or anything right know, which is not free?

No. (Some think they’re not, but that doesn’t make it true. For example, me, yesterday.)

If there is nothing to be found, which needs liberation.
Who or what then needs liberation?

Nothing.

And what is curious about all this right now? (look "behind you" right now)

I am always “liber”, I don’t need to be liberated.

Could it be that ALL of this, this converstation right now included, is just a dream/a thought story about a non-existent self on its non-existent, never ending path?

Wait a minute..WAIT!.. Is that it??..is this what you meant all along? Why didn’t you say so? Really? Is this it? I’ve thought of that several times in the past, I can’t tell what prompted me to think that, but I always dismissed summarily the possibility as science fiction material. No, really, is that it? (I want my money back!..ha ha) But who’s thought? Who’s having this thought?
Talk to me.

[Kixem]

Could it be that ALL of this, this converstation right now included, is just a dream/a thought story about a non-existent self on its non-existent, never ending path?

I need/want confirmation. Is that what you meant? Is that it?

[Matthew]

There is no confirmation in the classical sense.
When this is clear, there is also no need for confirmation.

Stick with the simplest of looking at the Now until it is crystal clear.
No steps here, no levels.
There is no progression, we ever only look at the ever fresh Now and Here.

But who’s thought? Who’s having this thought?

Is there a "who" that has thoughts?
STOP right now and look at this "who".
What is this "who", this "one" in actual experience?

Is it more than a thought?

Can a thought have other thoughts?

Is there a "who" needed for seeing to happen?
Is there a "who" needed for thoughts to appear?

Does anyone or anything HAVE these thoughts?
Or are there just thoughts...

[Kixem]

Could it be that ALL of this, this converstation right now included, is just a dream/a thought story about a non-existent self on its non-existent, never ending path?

It very well could. Is it? I don’t know.

Is there a "who" that has thoughts?
STOP right now and look at this "who".
What is this "who", this "one" in actual experience?

‪I keep looking and I’ve never seen anything or anyone, and yet, what becomes apparent as a result of my actions and behaviors in the real world is that I am an actor, a feeler, attached, connected, to those actions and behaviors and at the effect of them. ‬

Is there a "who" needed for seeing to happen?
Is there a "who" needed for thoughts to appear?

"If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?". I DON’T KNOW.

Does anyone or anything HAVE these thoughts?
Or are there just thoughts...

‪..appearing out of nowhere, floating by, meaning nothing, caused by nothing, aiming at nothing, connected to nothing, purposeless, in the void of no existence?‬..

[Matthew]

Sorry for the late reply. I'm with my family at the moment.



Just this one question thing right now:

‪I keep looking and I’ve never seen anything or anyone, and yet, what becomes apparent as a result of my actions and behaviors in the real world is that I am an actor, a feeler, attached, connected, to those actions and behaviors and at the effect of them. ‬

How is it known that these are "your" actions?
Look at these actions.
Look at a hand moving, doing things.
How is it known that these actions are "your" actions?
Do these actions belong to anyone or anything?

Just forget about what we've looked at before.

Look at the hand and tell me where there exactly is "my" in hand moving.

Is "my" to be found in actions, in experience itself?
Or is it just thought labelling experience as "mine" and "not mine".
What can be observed here?