Hey Eurychus,
. . I cant help but notice how the same notion of separate self keeps on passively, i find myself hoping for a brighter tomorrow for Eutychus and I forget that all happens as it is.
The idea of separation can show up. Almost like 'falling asleep' into the dream of duality and believing in a 'me' that is 'separate' from everything else. Can thoughts be prevented from appearing? No, including the thought 'me'. These times are always an opportunity to see the illusion at play.
Is it 'Eutychus' that hopes for a brighter future? Or thought about a 'brighter future' that appears, along with an energetic sensation that could be labelled 'hoping'? And perhaps other thoughts that tend to carry the reference 'me' or 'my'?
Ok, here are a couple of useful exercises:
Choice. It appears that there is choice between alternatives and an assumption that 'I choose'. Now, place both your hands on a table surface. In a moment one hand must be raised into the air whilst leaving the other on the table. Look for the very moment that a choice is made. Is it possible to notice that moment of choice being made somewhere? Is there a chooser doing that?
Decision: There can be the idea that 'I decide' about all sorts of things. Let's look at this and test it though. In a moment, go and make yourself a drink. This can be any kind of drink. Then come back here to look at the following questions...
Did you notice a decision to stand up? Was a decision taken to start walking? In walking, were there many decisions about how legs must move in a certain way so as not to fall over? Was a decision made about the type of drink? Was there a decision about filling the kettle or pouring the drink, or did that happen as if automatically?
This exercise about decisions can be adapted to all sorts of events, such as looking for car keys or driving from A to B, always taking a look for the decision, to see if one is being made somewhere in a mental control room.
'Does it seem to you that what we label as 'choices and decisions' are somehow happening all the time. The question is, can the chooser be found making choices, can a decider be found deciding? Are these 'made' or do they happen and then thoughts appear saying 'I chose', 'I decided'?
Love
Jon