Stumbling Upon Bliss

[divineliving]

Thank you Ilona. Here is some silence going back your way.





Agreed, 'continue' to let go of wanting to figure out is not sustainable. It is a super imposition and pre-supposes a concept of 'I" that is continuing to let go. Interestingly enough, the finger had been pointed my fathers 'positive' thinking which I have is not sustainable as again it pre-supposes a separate entity or 'I' so I have been exploring what want to "continue' letting go.. And indeed there is nothing there!

And in part yes, it was coming from thinking with not so many examples.. so here you go...

This exploration was done in part during 3 hours in the pool this past Sunday where the body/mind got sun burned! Such was the introspection and observing from direct experience that there was no decider, intention to even explore this when I went up to the pool area. Nor was there an intention to do Kriya or even an intention to be there that long. It was just what was happening naturally. There was no one there to take control of the situation, it was all unfolding on its own. I went to work out and again there was no decider, it happened when it happened on its own accord.

So what makes things happen from my direct experience is no one. A thought arises when it arises and an action is done when it is done. Including writing this right now. No idea what is the next sentence that is going to be written. It being written on its own accord. How does it work, again, I have no idea on how answer that question as I don't know how 'it' happens and can't really apply a description to something I don't know nor have any way of conjecturing. What am I responsible for? Nothing. A direct example/description in my experience has been my time with Jenni.

We have been together for 12 years on and off. Externally it would appear that once we broke off, that would be it, I had the belief many times that, that would be the case and yet here we are! So was there a decider? No, a free will? No. Was I responsible? No. How could i? It happened as it happened and no opinion, belief, reason to the contrary proved to be of any value. So, I gave up responsibility in stating how things should be or go.

They go as they do, when they do on their own accord. At times there are contractions arising, and other times there are expansions occurring. In my direct experience, there is no doer, free will, choice or control in the matter. Circumstances arise and sensations/thoughts correlate with what occurs. A glass falls. OK. A glass fell and broke. Am I responsible for the glass? No. That is what happened. I sure as heck did not 'choose' to have the glass fall and break. A car cuts me off, and I get annoyed. Did I have a choice of sensations of annoyance that showed up? No, they showed up on their own accord correlated with the circumstances.

So I am not responsible for what happens nor my reactions to what happens. They do as they do.. But paradoxically in the very act of observing them contractions dissolve and expansions expand. How does that work? Again, no idea. They just do. If I were to answer directly then I would answer - because the do.

With love,

Alberto

[Ilona]

Thank you very much!
The point is not to set you free from being responsible. Responsibility still arises. It's not that you are doing it or it has something to stick on.

I am not responsible for what happens nor my reactions to what happens.

Is this true? That sounds that you are a leaf blown by the wind with no direction, like a puppet that life plays with with no intention and purpose.
You are saying that you are not responsible for reactions, that's powerlessness, accepted, that's not the point.
I am inviting you to look deeper and find what is true, what is reponsibility? What is your responsibility?
I know I know the language is tricky, the point here is for you to investigate deeper and describe what is true, for you. With no denials and no accepting someone else's descriptions, but for the sake of truth

Much love.

[divineliving]

Hola Ilona,

Thank you for desiring further clarification.

Correct! 'I" am not responsible as the idea/thought 'I'... Ie, as you say, nothing for responsibility to stick to. Indeed there is responsibility arising, as the ability to respond, to manifest, to create, to be. But not responsibility like a fault, like something that I am doing or not doing. It is a space from which to observer and dissolve. If I am having a reaction, I can beat myself up, attempt to figure out why I am doing or reacting the way I am,or observe and allow for what is to be as it is. Including reactions/feelings/emotions/thoughts, etc. In this paradoxical, counter intuitive process/beingness that the true ability to respond arises as service, as love, as delightful beingness being the very expression of life itself.

So indeed not a state of powerlessness, but rather of ultimate power, that transcends and manifests on its own accord. Not a leaf blown by the wind in no direction ,but rather being the wind and the leaf and direction.

[Ilona]

Dear Alberto, can you give some examples of your own actual experience, how responsibility shows up, from the last couple of days, or today. Just so I see how it is perceived in actuality, not in theory. It's one thing to talk about it, another is demonstration in ordinary every day life. Please describe what is true to you.
There is no wrong answer, but I want to see some real description.

Much love.

[divineliving]

Hi Ilona,

In the last couple of days, responsibility has shown up in the most ordinary of ways... I get up at 5:30, read, mediate, walk up to the pool, observe, feel and be with the majestic beauty, listen to the wilderness sounds, feel the water on my body and then walk down, take a shower, brush my teeth, walk to the office and turn on my computer. Call and follow-up with my suppliers, train my team, lie down in bed and dissolve in and out of nothing, naturally, without effort for about an hour.

Observe thoughts of what is next, what needs to be done and then back to the computer, fill my taxes, write lawyers to clarify what particular wording means ( ie, I am responsible for the outcome, not others, I need to be very clear on what something means and the impact it is going to have on my business. It is not left to chance).

So if I get a response that is not clear for me ( as you are doing with me :-) ) I follow-up until it is clear from a world class perspective that the intended outcome is indeed realizable without obvious obstacles. I own and run a multi million dollar business. There is no 'me' running it. There is outcome ( which I feel into mostly in those deep states) and then correlated actions that occurs naturally. When there is resistance to particular tasks that I don't feel confident in (ie, doing the accounting), I observe then, allow the resistance, welcome it and let go. Soon afterwards its accomplished or not! if not, 'responsibility' thoughts shows up ( if we can call them that).. Something like.. OK.. Tomorrow for sure I am going to accomplish this specific task that I have for whatever reason been resisting (by the way, as I think I have shared with you, it is the 'story' of dyslexia - and having to 'effort' more than usual in extreme attention tasks that I tend to push back on).

The expansive states are taking on a new feel and sense to them.. A totality of YES in all that occurs, a sense of abundance and trust and at times 'contraction' - specifically at times as it relates to Jenni. Thoughts appear, I appear to believe then, I notice that I believe them and notice that they are thoughts arising and dissolving on their own accord. And right now? Feeling very spacious and loving.

With love,

Alberto

PS.. I recorded the Heart Warmer exercise from Greg... Maybe too much silence in between certain sentences? Working on fine tuning it.. here it is: https://1drv.ms/u/s!AijbAlqr9oBnmJcjeDPOB0BTSbDSFg

[Ilona]

Thank you for a lovely report! Now we are talking! I have no more questions for you. Welcome HOME!
Somebody will message you about joining fb groups. It would be nice to keep in touch :)

Much love your way

[divineliving]

:-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)

Thank you deeply Ilona. A real treat for sure you have been.

The space continues to open and unfold in unimaginable ways.. as you know I have been reading/meditating/exploring with the book from Greg Goode, the Direct Path, and for may years I'd stated to 'others'.. As a 'mantra'.. You are not your body, "you HAVE a body" , your are not your thoughts, you HAVE thoughts.. Etc.. And the other day for the first time I was not only - 'not my body, but I did NOT have a body....experimentally, no medicine, no nothing.. But pure spaciousness.. Deeper than ever.. lovely.

And his whole breaking down the 'container' metaphor has also allowed for the most ease in melting in and as others no matter what 'their' ideas/opinions/thoughts are or are not. As you know I live in Puerto Rico and the Catholic religion is prevalent to say the least. I went to a wedding this past weekend and began a conversation of 'no self' with a very religious couple for whom the bible is literal'. Haha.. Haha.. Haha.. What the heck was "i" doing.. and yet the next day, there was no difference between their point of view and mine.. There was no "i" nor 'they'.. Truly truly beautiful... in fact there is no 'Barnaby' either.. haha... The sweetness unfolding deeper and deeper, unbound, free, pervasive.. Even watching 'fox' news the other night as I was working out.. Never had I had a feeling of pure gentle love towards anything said in that TV channel. And yet, last night, all I could hear was LOVE. Hummm

Much love your way,

Alberto

[divineliving]

Hi Ilona,

Had not heard back from anyone yet.. Just checking.. In the mean time, as we spoke, the depth and breadth keeps on expanding and expanding with no end in site in this exploration.. What appeared to be crazy open spaciousness keeps on expanding.. diving into the word 'clarity' as that spaciousness... that which can't be grasped :-) this morning.. And dissolving into that.

Love,

Alberto

PS.. What is your direct e-mail, and or write me to albertovoli@outlook.com