The Gate

Hello dear Hesam!

I have read your PM and will send you one later.

You can choose if you wish to continue this exploration. We have covered just about everything, the only thing was to take a closer look at the body. We can do that, or I can just give you some questions for you to answer which will then bring our exploration to a close. What would you like to do?

Thought will say: “I prefer this drink to that one because my mum used to make this for me when I was a child” as a means for reasoning to why there are preferences. But is there an actual experience of “drinking chocolate as a child”?

Only thought who 'thinks' that something has happen, no actual experience can be found in the "drinking chocolate as a child".

And I am going to point out…that thought can’t think! :) Thoughts appear that thoughts are saying something, but thoughts don’t say or think anything. That is just more thought about thought.

When the view on the right is seen, do you have the ‘choice’ not to see? I’m not asking can you ‘choose’ to see something else like another view or a blank sky if you close your eyes. No. my question is can you turn seeing off? Can you NOT see what is seen?

No, whatever is on the right side is what is, actual experience appears as colour/image. Seeing can not be turned off, Actual experience can not be turned off (or turned on). It is just THERE always.

Yes, it just IS :)

Can you turn off seeing?

No, however there can be 'turning off' the self attachment to what is being seen, and the belief that there is a individual choosing in what to see and what to not see. What I mean to say is that, looking behind the self attachment, I see that colour is appearing, there is no one it is appearing to, it's just appearing and thought is saying 'it is appearing to ME'.

Beautiful, Hesam :)

Last question, in this whole exercise, what did the 'chooser' choose? Did a 'self' choose something?

Nothing, there is the belief that the 'chooser' chose to look first to the right and then left, and then close eyes and see blank, but no choosing has been done to anyone. 'Actions' has appeared in what IS.

Lovely!

Much love, Kay xx

Hey Kay <3 :)

You can choose if you wish to continue this exploration. We have covered just about everything, the only thing was to take a closer look at the body. We can do that, or I can just give you some questions for you to answer which will then bring our exploration to a close. What would you like to do?

I feel that what was needed to be received has been received. :) I can take those last questions and answer them to close this exploration.

And I am going to point out…that thought can’t think! :) Thoughts appear that thoughts are saying something, but thoughts don’t say or think anything. That is just more thought about thought.

Hehe yes yes, you are correct, I am just slipping with my words :D

And I know that you know about my gratitude, so I will just leave it with a <3

Much love,
Hesam

Hey Hesam!

I feel that what was needed to be received has been received. :) I can take those last questions and answer them to close this exploration.

Okay, so here are the questions. Can you give as much details as you can please, and in Q5 provide examples as requested :) That would be great :)

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form?
Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience.
Describe it fully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this?
What is the difference from before you started this dialogue?
Please report from the past few days.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5) a) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control.
b) What makes things happen? How does it work?
c) What are you responsible for?
d) Give examples from experience.

6) Anything to add?


Much love,
Kay xx

Hey Kay <3
I am sorry if my answers are a bit 'cloudy', but I just answered the questions straight from the Heart, please let me know if you need more intellectual answers :).

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form?
Was there ever?

No there is not, there have never been and will never be, it is only THIS appearing, without time and without the illusion of separate individuals.

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience.
Describe it fully as you see it now.

The illusion of separate self is from actual experience such as smell, colour/image, taste, sensation etc, which is weaved and combined into thoughts and labels, which the illusion of self is attaching it self to. The illusion of self is weaved thoughts about something that does not exist in the first place. Memories, thought etc is all in the illusion/dream that something is happening to an individual.
From own experience I can clearly see the thought patterns and old "habits" which is no longer, I can see that there is no 'Hesam', there is only THAT, which is another way of saying THIS, there is no other, only THIS, which is appearing, and the illusion of 'Hesam' is trying to bring all that into saying 'it is happening to ME'.

3) How does it feel to see this?
What is the difference from before you started this dialogue?
Please report from the past few days.

There is the sense of something that was already known before, but just hidden in some way. It is a beautiful 'feeling' of release and liberation. I am now the observer, I am not 'Hesam', I can just observe life as it is happening in the NOW, in THIS.
Also the knowledge received to me to LOOK, is not intellectual anymore, it just IS. Closest word would be 'I just FEEL it'. No thoughts can be fit here, just FEEL.
Before this I could understand it in theory someways, but now I SEE it, I FEEL it.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

Last bit that pushed over was being able to put the bits and pieces together from all the things we had been speaking about. Actual experience, the body, the illusion of self etc. They all contributed into the LOOKING. I could see the red tread through our conversation. To see the whole picture pushed me over. To put the different LOOKING together.

5) a) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control.
b) What makes things happen? How does it work?
c) What are you responsible for?
d) Give examples from experience.

a)They are all included in the illusion/dream. The Ego/Hesam is in the belief that life is happening to him. It is hard to truly believe that Hesam has no control over life, that decision, intention, free will, choice and control is just the beautiful architecture of the universe or whatever who put it together so beautifully. There is no point in describing something that just feeds to the illusion. There can only BE in THIS. Anything than THIS is just strain of thoughts which knows nothing about them self or anything else.

b)Life happens, as it just does. To ask about life, is to feed the intellectual, to ask is not about FEEL or LOOK. To ask the question is to get entangled in thoughts. I can not express how it works or what makes things happen. As it just does.
c) Nothing, I trust that the flow of life will get 'Hesam' where it needs to be, as 'Hesam' is just part of THIS, or IS this rather, like everything else.
d)Hard question hmm... But previously to this I could not separate Hesam, I thought I was Hesam. And that everything that is happening was because of Hesam taking actions and focusing on things that Hesam wanted.
Example 1: I previously thought that "focus" was "focus" and not just another thought. And that with focus, I could control what thoughts would arise in my head.
Example 2: I thought that I could control bad and good thoughts, or thought that it even existed good or bad.
Exampel 3: I learned about Actual experience, and in the end, that actual experience is also just a tool for us to be able to LOOK. And when that LOOKING has happen, Actual experience is no longer needed as a tool either.

6) Anything to add?

'You' are an angel and 'I' am forever grateful for this.

Much love,
Hesam
xx

Hey Hesam,

Thank you for your responses. Yes, they were a little 'cloudy', but I know what you are saying. I am going to ask a couple of other guides to have a look, and they are going to check that we have covered everything and that I have guided you clearly through to the recognition of no inherent self. So, they may or may not have further questions for you.

Love, Kay
xx

Hello Hesam,

There are questions that other guides have for you to answer, so if you could answer them, that would be great :)

1) Can you please ask: "I am now the observer, I am not 'Hesam', ..." -
While observing, have a look - where is this observer, how does it feel, what sensations are connected to it? What makes it "you, the observer"?


2) Is there a difference between seeing and the knowing/noticing of seeing? Can you find an observer of THIS in direct experience? Or a feeler?


3) You wrote: "I can just observe life as it is happening in the NOW, in THIS."
"Is there an inside and an outside to the observer?"


Much love, Kay
xx

Hey Kay <3 (And also hey to other guides and thank you for the extra questions)

1) Can you please ask: "I am now the observer, I am not 'Hesam', ..." -
While observing, have a look - where is this observer, how does it feel, what sensations are connected to it? What makes it "you, the observer"?

It is hard to put into words, I don't necessary mean that I am something, or that an observer exist. But I am THIS, and there is no sensation connected to it, there is the sense of watching as life 'flows', a separation from the illusion that 'I' used to be 'in'.
I dissolve into THIS, because that is what I am. Do I make sense? :)

2) Is there a difference between seeing and the knowing/noticing of seeing? Can you find an observer of THIS in direct experience? Or a feeler?

The ' noticing of seeing' is still pointing at the separation. But also 'seeing' can be misunderstood to that something is seeing, and I don't mean that, I rather mean that I am the sight, I am the sensation, I am the taste, I am what is appearing.

3) You wrote: "I can just observe life as it is happening in the NOW, in THIS."
"Is there an inside and an outside to the observer?"

No there is no inside or outside to the observer.


I hope that my answers is OK. I now also really see what amazing work you guys do, in explaining what is so hard to explain. I am struggling to answer the questions hehe, just let me know if I need to clarify more ! :)

Much love!
Hesam

Hey Hesam.

We have another question :)

Can the "I" survive its being seen through?

Love, Kay
xx

Hey :)

Can the "I" survive its being seen through?

There was never an ''I" to be survived in the first place. :)

Much love <3

Dear Hesam!

There are no more questions for you to answer. :) Welcome to the gateless gate! It has been an absolute pleasure guiding you, but the fun doesn't stop here!

You will be sent an invitation by LU admin to join the LU Aftercare Facebook group, it is up to you whether you take up this invitation or not. If you feel later on that you would like to 'pay it forward', please don't hesitate to ask on how to become a guide.

I will see you on Facebook.

Much love,
Kay
xx

Thank you so much for everything Kay, your pointing has been fantastic and you have been such an amazing guide, really really good.
I hope that anyone who reads this will understand and appreciate the way you point if they ever get the chance.

And also to whoever reads this, NEVER give up to understand the truth, how hard it may be time to time. Keep hammering <3

I will accept the invitation on facebook, and I also are in the thoughts on 'paying it forward'. I do need some time to process however, but I know where to turn to when I am ready for it. :)

Much much love <3

Hesam
xx

Hi Hesam,

What a lovely message to leave for everyone to read :) I am glad to hear that you would like to 'pay it forward' and understand that, yes, there needs to be a settling in period first.

Talk soon.

Love, Kay
xx