The Gate

Hey Kay!

By rights, I should now just give you the final 6 questions….but I thought you would like the following exercise which is more or less a continuation on the theme of ‘time’ and the ‘past’.

Already? Awww.. so quickly.. i was enjoying this, haha

What is memory exactly?

Label on thought.

What is the memory ‘made of’?

Nothing.

WHEN does the memory appear?

It doesn't. It's just a label.

What is the exact difference between a ‘general’ thought and a ‘memory’ thought?

There is no difference.

How is it known EXACTLY that a ‘memory’ thought refers to something that has happened?

It can't be known.

What is the future thought ‘made of’?

Nothing. Thought aren't made out of anything.

WHEN does the future thought appear?

It doesn't, it's just a label.

What is the exact difference between a ‘general’ thought and a ‘future’ thought?

There is no difference, both are labels.

How is it known EXACTLY that a ‘future’ thought refers to something that will happen?

It can't be known.

What is the EXACT difference between the thoughts about past and future?

There is no difference. Both are labels.

If there is difference, how that difference is known exactly?

No difference.

Love, Sadhu

Hey Sadhu,

By rights, I should now just give you the final 6 questions….but I thought you would like the following exercise which is more or less a continuation on the theme of ‘time’ and the ‘past’.

Already? Awww.. so quickly.. i was enjoying this, haha

Further investigation can still continue to happen once the 6 questions have be done and this part of 'seeing' has been completed – that is if you still desire to continue! :)

What is memory exactly?

Label on thought.

The label ‘memory’ is the AE of thought and not the AE of memory
Images that are labelled ‘past memory’ are AE of images and not AE of ‘past memory’.

What is the memory ‘made of’?

Nothing.

Memories are made up of thoughts which are then labelled the ‘past’ or ‘memories’ but are actually appearing ‘now’.

WHEN does the memory appear?

It doesn't. It's just a label.

Thoughts/images/smells/tastes/sounds/sensations that are attributed to ‘memory’ are referring to the ‘past’. But when are they exactly appearing? Right in the moment they are appearing – ‘time’ labelled ‘now’. Thought says the memory happened 20 years ago, a week ago, 2 seconds ago, but how is that known?

What is the future thought ‘made of’?

Nothing. Thought aren't made out of anything.

‘Future’ thoughts are made up of thoughts that are appearing ‘now’.

WHEN does the future thought appear?

It doesn't, it's just a label.

Like thoughts about the past – future thoughts are appearing ‘now’.

How is it known EXACTLY that a ‘future’ thought refers to something that will happen?

It can't be known.

It is only a thought that says ‘these thoughts are about the future’.

Is this all clear?

Love Kay

Hey Kay!

Thought says the memory happened 20 years ago, a week ago, 2 seconds ago, but how is that known?

Thought can't say anything, so it can't be known. Thoughts can't know about other thoughts, they are just thoughts. They just come and go.

Is this all clear?

Yeah :)

Love, Sadhu

Hi Sadhu! :)

Okay...here are the final clarifying questions. Please answer them with some detail.

Final questions
1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.
6) Anything to add?

Love, Kay :)

Hey Kay!

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

Nope. Never.

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

Social conditioning that happened during our youth, labelling everything so we can communicate.. and somehow, the social conditioning crept in, and said "i am doing this", "i am this". Now, i see it as just some thoughts. There is the body, there are the sensations/thoughts, but the "self" isn't real. The body moves, the thoughts pop up, but those aren't "me".

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

I'm still "coping" with it, haha. I am noticing a lot of conditioning, and thoughts of something more. But there isn't anything more, and there never was. I've been actively digging around anything that arises, and even though there still is "uncertainty" and "theres more!" feeling, there is a feeling of growing peace. It seems i've started digging in my sleep aswell.. i remember that i was half awake, and that there was a feeling of digging around, and then..i don't know how to describe it.. like the world, everything was just a big ball of something nice, haha. Feelings of bliss and peace were there. Doesn't really matter though. Why would it matter, when there is no self? Just something interesting to share, haha.

I've also been "thinking" of something. Sure, there is no self, i see that. What about all those meditations, practices etc. For example kriya yoga? Nothing can really get "better", "enlightened" and all of that, since the self isn't there. So whats the purpose of it? Interestingly, there are still thoughts of wanting to "dig around" for meditations, practices etc, even though i can see there is no self, and that those are just thoughts and bullshit.. for no real reason though. There aren't really thoughts like "for enlightenment" but more like "why not?". And even those are bullshit.

All is bullshit, only experience is real (shall we call it the bullshit philosophy? hahaha).

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

I wouldn't say "pushed me over", it was more of a constant, steady progress, until i realized to just look. There really was no act of "pushed over", there just is no self, that's it. It's stupidly obvious. No "crashing the gate", no angels trumpeting the magnificent enlightened person, just no self. Surprise. It's all just thoughts and bullshit. Persistent bullshit, but bullshit. Just needs constant looking, i suppose.
Oh and, the thing that helped a lot was that one sentence - "only sensations, and thoughts themselves are real".

5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

Well, all of those are pretty much buuuuuuullshiiiiiit. Haha, i just had a moment of brilliant stupidity. I didn't know what to write next, since there really isn't much to say about those. All of em are just thoughts, social constructs..
There still are thoughts about them, but those are just thoughts ;)
Nothing makes things happen. It's all just a nice, steady stream of experience.
Who? Me? I don't see anyone responsible.
Examples.. hmm, when walking home from my classes. Legs walk on their own, even if looking is happening, or thinking is flowing, legs just walk. Just sensation of walking. Just experience.

6) Anything to add?

Yup. All those thoughts, social beliefs/constructs and all the other bullshit. How do they keep functioning? Even if it's seen that they can't function, since thoughts cant function, there still are things "underneath it all" that need digging and looking, looking at every little detail. It all just needs looking to be seen completely through, but why? Why is it so "persistent"?
Also, after all this, i guess i'm just gonna keep digging around, uprooting anything i can..

Oh and, thank you Kay, for being persistent and everything. You're awesome :)


Love, Sadhu

Hey Sadhu!

I am going to ask a few other guides to look at your responses to make sure I haven't missed anything in pointing you to seeing through the 'separate individual'. This may take a day or two.

It has been an absolute pleasure guiding you, Sadhu....thank you. :)

Love Kay

Hi Sadhu,

I am still waiting for other guides to have a look....I have no idea where they all are but it has gone quiet! My apologies for this delay. Will let you know as soon as I know!

Love Kay

Hi Sadhu,

The other guides had a look and have no further questions. If you want to continue to investigate deeper just let me know and I will start a new thread. You will be added to LU Facebook page "LU Aftercare".

It has been a pleasure and fun guiding you...thank you.

Love Kay

Hey Kay!

The other guides had a look and have no further questions. If you want to continue to investigate deeper just let me know and I will start a new thread. You will be added to LU Facebook page "LU Aftercare".

It's okay, i don't see a need for more inquiry.. it's just looking from now on :)

It has been a pleasure and fun guiding you...thank you.

Same for me, it was awesome :) Thank you!

Love Sadhu :)