The Gate

Quite right, and it makes my brain hurt, which means I need to look at it right after this.

Basically what it comes down to is - does anyone make things appear in perception?

God is the catch-all word for noncomprehension.

I like that.

I've been purposely trying not to get into it because a) I don't know and b) I'd just be repeating stuff I've heard from other people.

Cool.

Basically what it comes down to is - does anyone make things appear in perception?

Oh, I've been looking at it as "Does anyone receive things in perception?"

Oh, I've been looking at it as "Does anyone receive things in perception?"

When something appears in perception, is the experience incomplete without some additional act of reception? How does this work, what does this reception imply, other than additional thoughts appearing along the lines of "I'm watching this"?

It feels like additional distance between me and reality. The reception appears to be a filter choosing what is and is not acceptable for the mind/ego. In a state of direct perception I can see things without passing judgment. Which is quite an odd thing to realize about sight.

Now, there are still a lot of "me"s in that paragraph, so who are they referring to? An observer? That's consciousness and perception, brain at work. Is anyone in charge of the brain or is it an organ? Am I in charge of my liver functions? Bone repair? I'm not even in charge of where my eyes point.

Still, "my" body parts. I close my eyes and don't feel most of them, nor do I see this person they'd be attached to.

More endless questioning. Am I wearing away my sense of self? I feel like I've been making progress since the beginning, but I no longer know how much of that is an illusion.

Is there an entity at the center of experience or just a body with a sense of self?

I feel like I've been making progress since the beginning, but I no longer know how much of that is an illusion.

You will answer that question yourself very soon.

The reception appears to be a filter choosing what is and is not acceptable for the mind/ego.

When does the judgement happen related to the appearance of something in perception?

When does the judgement happen related to the appearance of something in perception?[/quote]

Oh, always after. But it seems instantaneous, because, like body "autopilot" the body is doing its thing and the mind is only paying attention peripherally.

Oh, always after. But it seems instantaneous, because, like body "autopilot" the body is doing its thing and the mind is only paying attention peripherally.

If something appears on its own in perception and then there's thoughts and judgement about it appearing on their own in perception and all of that's an experience in itself, then is there such a thing as observation?

Well, I've been thinking of observation as the whole thing. But really perception is the whole thing. Perception of sight, perception of thoughts. Resistance is in there... resistance seems built in to human experience. The default is acceptance, and there is this resistance layered on top of it, blocking everything. I can feel it in my shoulders right now. And peace everywhere else.

...Really everywhere else...

Is there a you experiencing experience?

The experiencer is assigned afterwards. Just like everything else. But the sense of realness is so strong, so convincing. I never questioned it. If it was that strong it must always be there - I must have simply failed to eradicate the logic that was causing it...

This. Is the thing this points to real? Is someone experiencing?

The blankness, the firmness I am feeling now is just perception. Consciousness. Not a person. "I am feeling" is assigned to the sentence to explain it.

Mind is too blank to progress. Argh...

How does it feel, Dawn?

Every time I get to this state my vision goes wonky. Right now it's switching between left and right eye dominance. Just hitting the question over and over.

Does Dawn exist outside of thoughts about Dawn?

Do I exist outside of the conviction that I exist?

My mind has been this blank all day. It's too obvious to deny. I would have been in there at SOME point if I existed. I just have to admit the truth.

This reality is always my reality. This self is always my self. Right now a big blank "I don't know" is all I am. I don't know how to get from "I don't know" to "I am not."