Looking for a guide

[Armstrong]

I think if you can relax and pay attention to things in the course of your day that's enough. You don't need quiet outside circumstances to notice this stuff.

Or maybe I don't see it or don't allow it to arise.

So how do you control your emotions? What is that like in direct experience?

[fufe]

So how do you control your emotions? What is that like in direct experience?

If i think something I don't like I somehow block it and push it somewhere so it's not felt and pretend I didn't feel it, mostly I do that I think

[Armstrong]

You aren't describing things in terms of direct experience.
Can you explain it to me?
In terms of what you see, feel, think, etc?
Pretend I'm a 5-year old child and "blocking" and "pushing" feelings isn't something I understand.

[fufe]

You aren't describing things in terms of direct experience.
Can you explain it to me?
In terms of what you see, feel, think, etc?
Pretend I'm a 5-year old child and "blocking" and "pushing" feelings isn't something I understand.

I imagine a situation (Thoughts).
I get a reaction from inside (Feelings).
I try not to feel it and pretend I didn't feel it

I also sometime think I know when I want something I'm not supposed to want, but I can't face the truth. Especially in one case where I can't imagine any better option at the moment.
I thought that If I clear my inner issues around the subject, it will feel and be ok. But maybe I really shouldn't pursue that outcome. How do you differentiate between what is wronged by inner issues only and what is really not supposed to be OK for you anyways ? I don't now how.

[Armstrong]

You didn't answer in terms of direct experience.

Please listen to this http://liberationunleashed.com/LU_Audio ... n%2004.mp3

And then please describe, in terms of direct experience, what this I is that tries to not feel and tries to pretend.

[fufe]

You didn't answer in terms of direct experience.

Please listen to this http://liberationunleashed.com/LU_Audio ... n%2004.mp3

And then please describe, in terms of direct experience, what this I is that tries to not feel and tries to pretend.

Wait, I've listened to that already ! I remember the woman with the nice voice talking about this :D

Hmm... I see that there is blockage of emotions happening.. I don't think "I" consciously do it, but the mind comments on "what happened" prettty much.

[Armstrong]

Hmm... I see that there is blockage of emotions happening.. I don't think "I" consciously do it, but the mind comments on "what happened" prettty much.

Can you please explain your experience of emotions and thinking that leads to you writing you control them? I mean that in terms of direct experience, of course.

[fufe]

Can you please explain your experience of emotions and thinking that leads to you writing you control them? I mean that in terms of direct experience, of course.

By thinking "Fire, fire fire, air air air" etc they are not random bot choosed.. I don't know who is it that chooses if not I. Do they get choosed by themselves ?

[Armstrong]

What does your answer have to do with emotions? I don't understand.

[fufe]

What does your answer have to do with emotions? I don't understand.

I answered only the thinking part, not the emotions part, sorry

I recall a memory/imagine a situation.
An emotion arises in my body

Man I can't follow this through right now. I can't force get any emotion out of myself to follow it and describe it. Or maybe I don't do any blocking. Sorry, I'm tired, going to sleep in about 30 minutes. I will try again tomorrow.

[Armstrong]

You might find that sitting quietly for a few minutes, following your breathing, makes it easier to relax and pay close attention to direct experience.

[fufe]

You might find that sitting quietly for a few minutes, following your breathing, makes it easier to relax and pay close attention to direct experience.

Hmmm I don't control them.. I may give or not give space to them and they may or may not change..

[Armstrong]

Please pretend I am a 5-year old and I ask what does it mean to "give space to them"?
What does it mean in terms of direct experience.
You aren't answering in terms of direct experience.

My whole job is to point you to look at your direct experience.
If you don't want to or can't do it, let's stop. You can ask for another guide if you want to continue some day.

[fufe]

Please pretend I am a 5-year old and I ask what does it mean to "give space to them"?
What does it mean in terms of direct experience.
You aren't answering in terms of direct experience.

My whole job is to point you to look at your direct experience.
If you don't want to or can't do it, let's stop. You can ask for another guide if you want to continue some day.

It means concentrating on the feeling. Feeling the feeling as much as is possible. Seeing the feeling, feeling the feeling. The mind also shows images and thoughts.
I still see awareness of all of these as something apart from it - Something else, divided from everything else. How do I see through this, if it's really an illusion ?

I cannot stop now. I would feel like an utter fucking failure

[fufe]

The thing is that I know that other people don't feel the same feeling as "I" do, so I must be somehow apart from "the others", that makes the option of everything being one thing somehow not true at the moment
Altho I looked on the fact that emotion bay jest be feelign themsevles and thoughts thinking themselves and every of the senses has it's own "awareness" and it just seems to be divided as "another sense"