1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
No there is not and never has been. The only 'self', ‘me’, ‘I' that’s present is a term of language used for communication.
2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
The best I can explain it is that it was a belief that fell away. There is no memory of when this belief was established or put into place.
“Describe how it works from your own experience?”
How can something unreal and made-up work, at all? It never did! The belief did not do anything but create an apparent division (there never was a real division) between what is and always has been going on and an illusionary person who thinks being responsible for what happens and claims to be in charge/control of circumstances.
And, there is no one “having a life.”
All there is and ever was, is life.
3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
The only difference that’s noticed is that the drive to seek for something to complete an (illusionary) me has stopped.
The story of Jake was seen through and recognized for what it is: a storyline, created by thoughts, glued together by the belief in a separate identity.
Now, in a way, everything is free to come up and welcome: nothing is “wrong” anymore; yet nothing is “right” either. It just is what it is.
Once “fear” was addressed it was seen that the emptiness is also full, that everything and no-thing appear in this vastness.
4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
It’s really hard to answer this. All of a sudden it got clear. The pointing exercises (pointing outside and inside at the same time) left “me” speechless, maybe they had something to do with it? I cannot really say WHAT did it, really… in a way nothing happened.
It’s very subtle but profound.
5) Do you decide, intend, choose, control events in Life? Do you make anything
happen? Give examples from your experience.
No, there is no one who decides, chooses, or controls events.
No, no one here to make anything happen. It’s happening by itself.
Thoughts coming and going, decisions being made, food liked or not liked, headaches happening or not happening, plans being made, plans being changed…. it always has been like this and happened DESPITE of a belief in a “ME” and not because of.
This is freedom.
Dear Smudge, my heart is filled with gratitude and I hope you can feel the hug I just sent across the Atlantic.
Thank you so much for guiding me, for your patience, encouragement and your non BS attitude.
Much love and enjoy the festive season!
-j