The Gate

Hi Dianne!

Are you waiting for something to happen? What?

A change in perspective.

How would a change in perspective look like?

If you can't see a you, what would experience it?

What is beneath the concept "perspective" - is there such a thing? What is it made of? How is it maintained? What keeps it constant? Who is responsible? Is it any different from a raindrop?

In the simplicity and stillness of This, is there anything to find or anyone to find it?

Seeing no-self isn't like flicking a switch. As a powerful system of thought, "ego" has a lifetime of energy and momentum and it's only when "I" is no longer being energised that the associated habits begin to fall away. It's a process.

Love, Sandra

Hi Sandra,

How would a change in perspective look like?

A change in perspective would look like eating happening, thoughts happening, hand writing - all happening but to no one. The game would be over no one would be playing but actions would still be going on.

If you can't see a you, what would experience it?

Nothing would experience it, that is where the change in perspective would be.

What is beneath the concept "perspective" - is there such a thing? What is it made of? How is it maintained? What keeps it constant? Who is responsible? Is it any different from a raindrop?

The concept perspective is just a thought or belief that the perspective of Dianne would be collapsed into the noticing of life happening. Perspective is made up of thoughts. Maintained by thoughts. It just seems to be constant unless seen through. No one is responsible it just happens with thoughts. A raindrop and perspective are just what is arising in the moment. A raindrop appears to have form called raindrop and perspective is a thought.

In the simplicity and stillness of This, is there anything to find or anyone to find it?

This is all there is and there's no-one to find anything.

Bye for now
Dianne

Hi Dianne!

What is the I that is looking?

Love, Sandra

Hi Sandra,

What is the I that is looking?

The 'I' that is looking is a focusing of attention on different parts of the body and behind the body. So a thought comes - looking in the head, not there - looking in the heart, not there - looking in the stomach, not there. Thought to look outside the body over the left shoulder, over the right shoulder. The 'I' that is looking is a thought.

Bye for now
Dianne

Hi Dianne!

Do you really need to think to look?
Is thinking controlling the looking and choosing where the looking should go next?

Do you really decide where to look "I think i will look first in the head", "now I'm going to look in the stomach", or looking happens and thoughts are about how thought/you did it?

Can thoughts do anything? Are thoughts thinking what you should do next? Planning how to move the fingers, blink the eyes, rotate the head, scratch an itch?

Please look again and tell me what is experienced when your looking and what does this mean:

The 'I' that is looking is a thought.

Sending love, Sandra

I don't know what the I is that's doing the looking. Just a searching but without a someone. I don't know what that means. Is the I that is looking the same I its looking for?

Bye for now
Dianne

Can you please answer all my questions, Dianne?
You forgot these ones:

Do you really need to think to look?
Is thinking controlling the looking and choosing where the looking should go next?

Do you really decide where to look "I think i will look first in the head", "now I'm going to look in the stomach", or looking happens and thoughts are about how thought/you did it?

Can thoughts do anything? Are thoughts thinking what you should do next? Planning how to move the fingers, blink the eyes, rotate the head, scratch an itch?

Is the I that is looking the same I its looking for?

Can you see a I doing the looking?
Is an I being experienced?

Sending love, Sandra

Hi Sandra,

Do you really need to think to look?

No I don't need to think to look.

Is thinking controlling the looking and choosing where the looking should go next?

No thinking is not controlling the looking or choosing where the looking should go next.

Do you really decide where to look "I think i will look first in the head", "now I'm going to look in the stomach", or looking happens and thoughts are about how thought/you did it?

When sitting with the question "What is the I doing the looking?" There is an internal searching going on without the thought "I think I will look first in the head" but seems like the attention that's going on is directed to where I feel the sensation of head or foot or heart. I don't see those things sitting with eyes shut searching but sense them. The thoughts come later.

Can thoughts do anything? Are thoughts thinking what you should do next? Planning how to move the fingers, blink the eyes, rotate the head, scratch an itch?

No thoughts can only label what has been done. Thoughts are not planning to move the fingers, blink the eyes, rotate the head, scratch an itch. Can thoughts do anything - No.

Can you see a I doing the looking?

No just sense a searching going on.

Is an I being experienced?

Just a sense of looking without being attached to anything.

Hi Dianne, nice work with the quote function!

By your answers I can't feel what's going on with you. Since the begining of our conversation it seems to be clear that you can see that the I is an illusion - I say this because you hardly ever told me that the I existed and was this or that.

It's been difficult to know where you are stuck from your answers, but the big sticking points that keep people from crossing the gate seem to be fear and expectations. Are you afraid of something? Expecting this experience to be different than what is being experienced? Is the illusion seen throught? Are there any doubts? How can I help you?

Sending love, Sandra

Hi Sandra,

By your answers I can't feel what's going on with you. Since the begining of our conversation it seems to be clear that you can see that the I is an illusion - I say this because you hardly ever told me that the I existed and was this or that.

The I is not always an illusion with me. If my guard is let down it comes back with full force believing thoughts of changing the past or thoughts of an imaginary future which sometimes when I catch it happening I try to remember to stop- breath- look- what's here? Sometimes when I do that I can just be present for a while in the moment but not long. The majority of my day I'm off running fully on automatic and when I stop to sit with your comments and really look it brings the present to now, what's happening now. It took me a while to realize it wasn't thought that was doing the looking and it was an effort to look and notice that a directing of attention to different parts of the body and outside the body was being done. It was like a game of hide and seek because at times I couldn't know how the directing of attention was happening and at other times it felt like an entity Dianne was doing it and then I pushed that thought away.

It's been difficult to know where you are stuck from your answers, but the big sticking points that keep people from crossing the gate seem to be fear and expectations. Are you afraid of something? Expecting this experience to be different than what is being experienced?

Am I afraid of losing Dianne? I really don't think so. I'm not saying that I don't love my life and my family but I want the illusion to be seen through so much. Am I afraid of seeing that my family is an illusion? Maybe I'm not sure of that one hadn't really given it much attention. My expectations are for life to be much as it is without the belief in self. If there is no past and no future then constant thoughts about them would be a waste of time and once fully realized life would happen without the belief in the constant commentary.

Is the illusion seen throught? Are there any doubts? How can I help you?

I can see where you would be stuck. I even confuse myself. Hopefully confusion is part of the disappearance of self.

Are there any doubts. Yes plenty. I just know I'm not there yet. I have to be constantly vigilant and stop claiming things from a Dianne's point of view. I think it would be easier than this if a recognition of the fact that I'm already awake had happened.

I don't know how you can help me Sandra but your questions always make me stop and look and then look deeper somehow.

Bye for now
Dianne

Hi Dianne and thank you for telling me what's going on with you, I really appreciate it.

Reading your words I have the impression that you're trying to force yourself to see that you don't exist and feeling bad because you don't see it yet... that is a way of resisting the present experience that reinforces the illusion that the I is real.

I would prefer that you relax and allow dianne to be exactly like she is for the time being. Why not? Dianne isn't going to disappear after you see that she's an illusion. She's not here already and life is going on perfectly, so there isn't really someone or something to lose and no motive to feel bad with a non existing self.

The goal of our conversation is looking at reality and see what's true. There are two possibilities:
- or dianne exists and is a real, separate entity, apart from life and with the ability to control her life and what happens in it;
- or dianne doesn't exist and only This is real, life, the experiencing, the flow, what's felt, the seeing of thoughts and even the experience of identification with the illusory dianne.

Let's try to keep this very simple. I think we should go slower and look at a thing at a time. If you see that I'm going to fast - I seem to have a tendency to do that - please tell me. If you have doubts, also tell me. My pace isn't important, yours is.

My job here is telling you where to look for this dianne and ask you to prove me that she exists. You're job is to look every time you remember and tell me "there she is, I can see her there!" or "dianne was present when this happened" or "I can't see her but... I think she's(...) :)

Is this approach OK with you?

I don't know how you can help me Sandra but your questions always make me stop and look and then look deeper somehow.

Wonderful. Really happy to know this. That's perfect. I think you're going really fine. Don't worry with the "final destination" and if possible try to enjoy the ride and be really curious when looking to what's always here to be seen.

Let's get back to here and now (isn't funny talking like this? Language implies that going to the past or future is possible...).

Let's say that dianne exists and she's reading these words. Not a past dianne or a future dianne.
A now dianne.

Look and tell me what proves her existence in experience. Can this now dianne be experienced with the senses?
Can she be seen?
Can she be heard?
Can she be felt?
Can she be smelled?
Can she be pointed at?

Take your time looking at this. Go one step at a time - and tell me how that goes.
If it helps make a post for each sense.

Sending love, Sandra

Hi Sandra,

My job here is telling you where to look for this dianne and ask you to prove me that she exists. You're job is to look every time you remember and tell me "there she is, I can see her there!" or "dianne was present when this happened" or "I can't see her but... I think she's(...) :)

Is this approach OK with you?

That's ok with me.

Let's say that dianne exists and she's reading these words. Not a past dianne or a future dianne.
A now dianne.

Look and tell me what proves her existence in experience. Can this now dianne be experienced with the senses?
Can she be seen?
Can she be heard?
Can she be felt?
Can she be smelled?
Can she be pointed at?

Take your time looking at this. Go one step at a time - and tell me how that goes.
If it helps make a post for each sense.

I will take it slow and get back to you maybe later today but it could be tomorrow.

Bye for now Dianne

Good, take your time doing this, the way it feels right to you, and write here what you find. Writing helps to clarify things and brings beliefs to the surface.

Hi Sandra,

Posting will be only occasionally at the moment as Christmas is just around the corner and life is very busy. I will be doing as you suggest and writing down what is experienced but I may not get to post very often over the next week.

bye for now
Dianne

Hi Dianne. That's OK, thank you for telling me.
Next week I will be at home - holidays! - and sharing the computer with my two kids.
At home life is - like you so well say - very busy but I will be looking forward for your posts!

Sending love, Sandra