Requesting a guide...Ilona or Pablo please...

[Mettasattva]

Hey…

“Can you identify any particular times, types of interactions, or experiences where this resistance occurs?”

Singing in public, finishing my dissertation, public speaking…
Sometimes after an intense meditation retreat, when I come back to “reality”.

“Right now, on a scale of 1-10, how motivate are you to see through the illusion of self?”

Do I need to answer this? 10!

“Are you ready to dive into this process completely, even if it means you lose everything you hold dear?”

Yes.

:O)

[Paulo]

HI Mettsattva,

“Are you ready to dive into this process completely, even if it means you lose everything you hold dear?”

Yes.

Great ... release the hounds ... let the games begin! :)

“Can you identify any particular times, types of interactions, or experiences where this resistance occurs?”

Singing in public, finishing my dissertation, public speaking…
Sometimes after an intense meditation retreat, when I come back to “reality”.

What is it about these situations that might require you keeping a little distance from them? (take each one in turn if you like)

Paulo.

[Mettasattva]

Hey

“What is it about these situations that might require you keeping a little distance from them? (take each one in turn if you like)”

Well the singing, public speaking and dissertation I believe have something to do with outside validation. However I don’t actually know why it happens.

As for after retreats again I don’t know other than speculating.

This question doesn’t seem helpful and I am picking up on the fact that somewhere here I am not saying the right thing…we only seem to have an issue when u ask me to describe my experience, and this is the 3rd time I’ve stated this…. I don’t believe I have difficulty in seeing through the illusion of a fixed self and I think u agree or u wouldn’t be asking me to describe my experience in the way u have….

Now I do have a question and I would like u to answer it please. When someone sees through this illusion do they stop experiencing frustration or anger or resistance?

And by the way…. I do sing in public and I do speak in public on occasion and I got my degree so whatever it is that happens doesn’t actually stop me from doing things…I don’t just run off screaming!

:O)

[Paulo]

When someone sees through this illusion do they stop experiencing frustration or anger or resistance?

Everyone's experience is different, but in general life goes on as it always has done. There is no entity called self in reality anyway, so nothing much changes. Frustration, anger or resistance may be experienced with less intensity, and they may not stick around for very long, as there's no story of self to attach to, and to keep them fueled.

I don’t believe I have difficulty in seeing through the illusion of a fixed self and I think u agree or u wouldn’t be asking me to describe my experience in the way u have….

Don't tell me you've cracked it, and have been keeping it to yourself all this time, pretending to get frustrated, or not being able to articulate your experience - check you out!

So go - take some time, move into that space and question the hell out of it, look at it from every angle you can think of. Prove to yourself it's concrete, and not just you trapped in thought, believing you've seen through the illusion of a separate self (where did you get 'fixed self' from? that's not what your here to look at).

Focus on the core, the very absense of you, the absense of self and a cause for what you call life. The absense of an experiencer behind the experience. Describe that core.

[Mettasattva]

"Don't tell me you've cracked it, and have been keeping it to yourself all this time, pretending to get frustrated, or not being able to articulate your experience - check you out!"

Isn't it all just play acting? You can misunderstand my words as much as u like Mr.

Fixed sense of self....you not come across that then, and thats not what we're looking at here? really?

Describe that core??? what core are u talking about? do u mean the core of me?

[Mettasattva]

Also I'd like to ask how I actually do this because it seems that when I am looking directly at experience I'm not seeing my experience....so how do I do it?

[Paulo]

what core are u talking about? do u mean the core of me?

There is no you to have a core. Look at the absence of self, describe that space.

[Mettasattva]

HOW?

[Paulo]

I don’t believe I have difficulty in seeing through the illusion of a fixed self

Don't let yourself just believe it. Belief is worth nothing. See the reality of the illusion of self in real life by looking at it until it hurts, otherwise that belief doesn't mean a thing, and all those years seeking don't mean a thing.

HOW?

What's right in front of you now? A computer? - describe it here. Then describe what IS right here right now in relation to 'self' - look it right in the eye, no flinching, you can do this.

[Mettasattva]

Don't worry, it's hurting...

The computer is a laptop, grey in colour. It has a keyboard built in, it's a little dusty and a little slow at running... there is a wire running from it to the plug socket in the wall...

There is a body with a mind and feelings, the mind produces thoughts that arise and pass away, the same with emotions/feelings produced by the body...and thats it!

[Paulo]

The computer is a laptop, grey in colour. It has a keyboard built in, it's a little dusty and a little slow at running... there is a wire running from it to the plug socket in the wall...

There is a body with a mind and feelings, the mind produces thoughts that arise and pass away, the same with emotions/feelings produced by the body...and thats it!

Did you spot the parallels between the body and mind, and computer and software? Look at it - what's running the software, what's running the mind?
Be concise,be focused, no bullshit.

So what DID you find in relation to self?

That was the question - c'mon get focused, last push through!!! The mind is a devious bastard and will distract you from the truth that there is no self - it's a pure fiction to give the mind itself a context, and it will protect that fiction with every sly little trick it can muster.

Watch this - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Q5CbuDIa6I

Don't worry, it's hurting...

Embrace the pain, and you will win this game :)

[Mettasattva]

Hey

First question...

"Did you spot the parallels between the body and mind, and computer and software? Look at it - what's running the software, what's running the mind?
Be concise,be focused, no bullshit."

Thinking is telling me that energy runs the computer, the computer runs the software... energy runs the body, the body runs the mind... but when "looking at it" there is just sensation.

Second question to follow...

"Embrace the pain, and you will win this game :)"

How, when there is so much aversion to the pain?

[Mettasattva]

Hey

sometimes writing flows more if I rytheme...

This isn't my final say :O) just thought to share it...


“I” isn’t the ear or even tongue; “I” isn’t fear or body on the run.
“I” isn’t body movement in morning sun.

“I” isn’t the feet or even skin; “I” isn’t whom u meet or love within.
“I” isn’t where “I’ve” been.

“I” isn’t the heart or even head; “I” isn’t any part “I” isn’t fed.
“I” isn’t fixed in dread.

“I” isn’t the fingers or even thumb; “I” isn’t to linger or what will come.
“I” isn’t fun.

“I” isn’t thinking or even felt; “I” isn’t seeing or words being spelt.
“I” isn’t on this conveyer belt.

“I” ain’t nothing and everything too; “I” ain’t stable how bout u?
“I” ain’t feeling; “I” ain’t the blue.
And “I” ain’t searching…
“I” is not coming through...

"I" can't find a self!

[Paulo]

"Embrace the pain, and you will win this game :)"

How, when there is so much aversion to the pain?

Simply look - What is the pain protecting? What's behind the pain?

Thinking is telling me that energy runs the computer

What EXACTLY does the 'me' refer to here?

[Mettasattva]

Hey

I don't get it, interlecturly i get it, phsically i get it, experiencing it, defo not getting it!

"What EXACTLY does the 'me' refer to here?"

there is still a sense of something experiencing... the same thing that needs to embrace the pain!

"Simply look - What is the pain protecting? What's behind the pain?"

Nothing, it's just pain... a sensation.

Funny about no expectations teehe