I would like a guide

[jriley1779]

Hi Nona,

I just woke up not long ago with a very dry mouth and up popped the thought 'you should go drink some water'. Well gee thanks thought, the body would never have figured that out. Here it is breathing in oxygen, pumping blood, digesting food but without your valuable input it would surely have sat here and died of dehydration. Then I noticed that the body was very sticky from the extreme humidity here in New York and trusty old thought appears again with 'probably a good idea to jump in the shower'. Once again thought, what would I do without you? Obviously the body would sit here and stew in its own sweat if it didn't have you to guide it to the right action all the time. Tell you what thought, you make me laugh so you can stick around. Just stop trying to take credit for everything, ok?

[jriley1779]

No I do not have any doubt that there is no separate entity controlling things. Is it ok to say that life is controlling everything? That life is the one entity that is in control? I realize life is just a word but I prefer this to 'nothing is controlling anything.

[jriley1779]

I am noticing little instances here and there where action happens and poor old thought does not make it in time to take the credit. I almost feel bad for it, all this time it thought it was the king of the castle and now it's nothing more than a little friend who follows the body everywhere agreeing with everything it does.

[jriley1779]

What sets mental understanding (that there is no separate entity 'self' apart from the experience of it is that mental understanding is essentially just more thought and as we've seen thoughts do not always turn out to be true whereas the actual experience of it cannot be denied. It is living proof.

[jriley1779]

I tell myself that there's no self and in my direct experience it is true. There is the body resting, carrying out all it's functions with ease and as usual the sights, sounds, and feelings. You are right, if there were a self it would be easy to find. Instead it is impossible to find.

[jriley1779]

"Your honor, I have a thought + an image of an entity (self), therefore self exists as a separate entity" - said no one ever.
This made me laugh although I think someone did say it. Descartes, when he said 'I think therefore I am'.
How wrong he was.

[jriley1779]

I don't feel like any additional exercises are needed. They will only serve to show that there is no separate self. This has already been seen and is known.

[nonaparry]

Dearest Jason,

I don't feel like any additional exercises are needed. They will only serve to show that there is no separate self. This has already been seen and is known.

I'm so delighted!!

Here are some questions that will help us see if there is anything further to discuss here:

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5) Do you decide, intend, choose, control events in Life? Do you make anything happen? Give examples from your experience.

6) Anything to add?

love,
Nona

[jriley1779]

I'll have to reply to these one by one. I just typed a reply answering all questions and when it was time to send the site had logged me out. Perfect example of having no control over life.

1. No there is no separate entity 'self', 'me', 'i' at all anywhere, in any way, shape or form. There never was. There was only ever a belief in such an entity.

[nonaparry]

No hurry. I type my posts, then copy them, then submit. If the post fails to go through, I still have it in memory and can paste and submit.

love
Nona

[jriley1779]

2. The illusion of separate self is the belief that there is someone who is controlling the actions of the body and making decisions. The belief that one is living life or living in life or has a life.
I would guess that it starts at the age of 1 to 2 years old when one starts to understand language.
One is told such things as 'good boy' or 'bad boy' or 'don't touch that' or 'be quiet', etc. and one seems to have no choice but to assume that it must be capable of controlling these things.
So begins a life of suffering. Of trying desperately to be good so as to gain acceptance from others and then agonizing over the belief that one did something 'bad' or 'wrong' despite their best efforts to be good.

[jriley1779]

3. It feels relieving to see this. Like a weight has been lifted. The difference from before I started this dialog is that I used to be judgmental of myself and others. I used to struggle with trying to be a decent and moral person. I used to avoid eating meat because I judged it as ethically wrong. I used to see life as a test of sorts. Life used to be more rigid and tense feeling. Now i don't judge others or myself as I see there is no one to judge. I do not try to be a certain way but rather let the body do what it does and accept that life is flowing freely on it's own. The body has gone back to eating some meat and I do not judge that. I no longer see life as a test. There is nothing to be achieved and no one to achieve anything. Life no longer feels tense and rigid, it feels more relaxed and easy-going now.

[jriley1779]

4. Not too sure about what was the thing that pushed me over. Maybe just the realisation that if there really was a self it would be possible to find it.

5. I do not decide, intend or control any events in life. I do not make anything happen. Examples: The body is hungry, the body responds by seeking out food. There is no need for an entity to tell the body to do so. I intend to go see a movie later. I have made plans to do so however it will happen or it won't happen despite my plans. There is no guarantee that it'll happen.

[jriley1779]

6. So i have seen through the illusion of separate self. There is still the sense of existence here. What is it? Is it life? Can I be said to be anything? i.e. Life, oneness, etc. Or am i just nothing at all? Also, I don't feel qualified to speak to others on this matter yet. Does this take time? I'd like to be able to guide others the way I was guided but feel I am no-where near this stage yet. Much love and appreciation once again for giving your time.

Love
Jason

[nonaparry]

Dear Jason,

There is still the sense of existence here.

And so?? Is the sense of existence an actual existence? Check it! Is the sense of existence a REAL existence or just a Story About existence?

Get clear. Check your direct experience!

In the meantime, I will ask other guides to look at your answers and see if they have questions.

With all my love
Nona