I can't quite get "there"

[jeffdilbeck]

I'll come back to this. ;)

Try this exercise for me.

First write what you are experiencing right now using the words I and me. Get right to the point, no past or future fantasy, just the plain description of here now.

Like this-
I am laying in bed. I am hearing the rain, I am typing these words..

Do it for 10 minutes. Watch the body, are there any sensations of tightening or relaxing?

Then for the next 10 minutes write without words I and me. Just describe the experience as it is happening using verbs:
Waiting for next thought, typing, breathing, blinking, hearing the rain.

Again watch what is happening in the body.

Now compare the two ways to label experience- is one truer than the other? If so, which one? What is here without labels? Do labels affect the experience or just describe it?

[cummins55]

It's almost Thursday and I haven't posted for Wednesday. I'm about to do the exercise. Been busy with life and studying for final. Thank you for your time.
Sending love

[jeffdilbeck]

:)

[cummins55]

Just got home from hospital. Son had HUGE kidney stone issues. It's almost Friday. I'm going to bed and will post tommorow./;-F
I did pass my final!
hugs

[jeffdilbeck]

Chop wood, carry water. :)

[cummins55]

VERY GOOD!
I used to say that at allot of AA meetings I used to attend.
O>K> so sorry it took so long to finally do the exercise. I just finished.
I noticed when I wrote the one with all the I's and me's my body was very tight. I couldn't write fast enough.
But when I wrote the one with just what's happening, it was pleasant. I smiled and breathed and it flowed. I was aware of emotion. I paused a few times. This one felt truer than the self-centered one. It's what was really happening. Life is here without labels. Awareness is huge without labels. Labels effect the experience it really doesn't describe it very well.
There's almost no labels for what's really happening.
Have a beautiful night Mr. Dilbeck I send smiles

[jeffdilbeck]

What is in control? What controls "looking" and awakening?

[cummins55]

I am being breathed, coughed, scratched. Listening is happening, typing is happening, looking is happening. There is no one to awaken. Who controls all this? Who lives Linda?
I don't know. I don't know why Linda is. I don't know what the point is! I don't know who controls the looking and awakening.
Some "All" is living all this. It's me and you and the homeless guy that lives behind Von's. The "All" controls whether Linda awakens. The "All" controls whether the homeless guy gets out of the box behind Von's. There's no sense in striving, the "All" controls how it turns out.

[jeffdilbeck]

Has a shift happened? You sound ready for the final questions.

[cummins55]

I think so. I'm ready. I am ready.

[jeffdilbeck]

Is the all a personal thing?
Are you the stopper or starter of striving?
Is there anyone to forgive or anyone to do the forgiving?

Answer those questions and we'll proceed.

:)

[cummins55]

The "All" is impersonal. If I think I'm the stopper or the striver, I am. But truely, I am not. There is no one to forgive, or do the forgiving, because nothing has happened.

[jeffdilbeck]

1) Is there a 'me', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works.

3) How does it feel to see this? describe in detail.

4) How would you describe it to somebody who has never heard about this illusion but is curious about it.

5) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look? was there a specific moment when seeing happened or was it gradual? what exactly happened?

[cummins55]

Me was created. There was no me, ever.
2) The illusion of the seperate self began when I was told I was a Linda. I was given labels. I believed I was in charge of labels. I got a false puffed up feeling because of labels. I thought I owned some labels. Things became personal. The illusion became survival for "me".
3) I really don't feel much about seeing this. At first the feeling of liberation, a gasping recognition of truth. I feel disconnected, like I'm watching everything happen.
4) I would tell the seeker we are all under the illusion of control. Life lives us. We are an event of nature, like the stars or the weather. To wake up from the illusion is freedom. We were created to find ourselves in the I Am.
5) It was gradual. I read Joel S. Goldsmith for years, he had something, I didn't know what it was but I wanted it. A few months ago I went to a meditation group and they mentioned something about non-duality, and they played a You Tube video from Scott Kiloby and he said something about noticing how we move without even thinking about it. Then I heard Byron Katie say something about being breathed. And you said something about us all living the one life. Now I can see non-duality.

[jeffdilbeck]

Hey,

I put your thread up for confirmation. One of the other guides in our workgroup asked: How was me created? What does non-duality look like?