The Gate

Also, moments where a thought with content you call doubt emerges, where does it come from? what does it refer to? does it come from a self? does it refer to a self? or is it as much spontaneous selfless nature as sounds and sights?

Hey Kathy, how are things moving?

Dear Elad,
I am sorry for not replying for a very long time.
I didn't log in here and I didn't get an email when you checked on me.
I recently moved and there was a lot to do in connection with that, but aside from that, I have a feeling of stuckness.
I haven't had any new insights and as I am writing this I realize that this is just a thought.
Do I need to have an insight?
Can anything be different than this here and now?!
No, but thoughts seem to apply that it can.
The issue is, that when I am communicating with you, focusing on this, the clarity comes as I am writing, and then here we go again a thought that says, but what about...xyz?
There are no ifs and buts...
The more I write the more paradoxical it becomes, because I get into these contradictions.
Here we go again confusion is happening...

Kathy hi! I have been on retreat, just returned. Sounds to me like it would help to return to be in touch with me daily. As often as possible both during other activity, and sitting down quietly without distraction particularly for that, look:

Whatever is going on, is there a self that makes it, is it a self or the activity of a self that is found? Or is EVERYTHING that is taken as self clearly just activity habits and sensations, happening without a self?

I would recommend getting into this with a renewed commitment to engagement during the day and in messages here daily. You are close...

Hi Elad,
Nice to hear back from you. I agree with your suggestion.
The issue is that I get very easily distracted, caught in thought loops.
For some reason, there is always an evaluation going on.
I feel like I am constantly in this labeling business, like this is a sensation, this is a thought.... etc.
Isn't perceiving itself also a thought?
If I don't label a tingling sensation in my feet, would I even perceive that?
I know, that this is not the point. The point is that there is no "I" in it.

Hi again Kathy,

Habits are as habits are. As for the story about the you it refers to, does that exist?

What is this imagined you?

Return to the matter of self or no self every time you remember. Don't let yourself be distracted by other questions. Don't let yourself be distracted by if's and but's. If a sense of absolute clarity is not there return to looking.

Write me again tomorrow.