The Gate

Hello Stacy,

How does it FEEL to see there is no chooser?

To be honest, I didn't felt very much. I knew before that i would like to drink the hot coffee, so it was no big deal that i made the choice for the coffee.
If i would have to choose more serious things, like buying an expensive car or else, i would think a lot about the pro & cons, before i decide - not on a whim.

I saw an interview with Sam Harris. And I completely agree with him, that we are greatly influenced by different factors, like genes, parents, culture, etc. in our daily life and in decision making.
We are no blank slate. How should we?

But what about a decision, for example like going for a run.
Sometimes I have a lot of energy and it is no question about running or not, bec it's fun.
On other days, when i am in a depressed mood it's a hard decision to do it or not. Sometimes the inner voice that says “No, not today” wins. But next time i might go for a run, even with low energy, bec of another voice in my head that says “Do it - it will be good for you today”.
Situations like this make me feel i have the choice.

Love,
Sundance

Okay, let's get clear on a couple of details, then.

A feeling is a body sensation and comes after a thought. A feeling can't choose.

That's backwards. Sensation comes first. Then thought arises. Don't believe me. Check. That's what the fMRI proves.

Situations like this make me feel i have the choice.

Yes, that's the illusion it creates.

Don't worry - I'm not suggesting that you need to look at every decision this way. You just need to know that that is really what's happening.

On the other hand, it can be very peaceful when we get into the flow of noticing that we have no control. It's a kind of surrender or letting go.

That same sense of surrender, letting go & relaxation can help you to see there's no "self." Thinking, stressing & trying to force it do not work.


Sports Exercise

Please note that you will have to check the link when using this exercise, to make sure it is still viable, as sometimes they are removed from Youtube.

The following link is a 7 minute clip of a soccer game. If you prefer another sport…please feel free to find one to do this exercise with.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yy5pL-myDzw

1. Watch one minute with the sound turned OFF, watching ‘people’ messing about with a round thing on a field, up and down, up and down. Let it sink in, the whole experience.

2. Once the first minute is completed, now watch another whole minute with the commentary turned ON.

Notice the differences.

Notice how the commentator (thought) offers lots of know-how, even advice. It seems to feel as though they can influence, somehow, what is going on, as though one outcome is much preferred to the opposite outcome. The commentary may seem to heighten any supporter feelings which are there, and call for an identification with one team or other, and with the importance of the game itself.

3. Now turn the volume OFF AGAIN and just watch the action with NO audible commentary, the shapes moving around on the screen etc. Again notice all the differences in what is appearing as experience.

4. Now turn the volume ON again and ignore what you think you know thought is talking about, and just notice it as sound.

What did you find when doing this exercise? Is the commentary on the soccer game a necessity for the play to happen?

And in the same way, is the inner narration of thought a necessity for the play of life to happen?

As always, relax & have fun!

Loving,

Hello Stacy,

I thought a lot about this:

On the other hand, it can be very peaceful when we get into the flow of noticing that we have no control. It's a kind of surrender or letting go.

That same sense of surrender, letting go & relaxation can help you to see there's no "self." Thinking, stressing & trying to force it do not work.

I really wish to be peaceful and i would like to be able to give up control. I can imagine that this makes life much easier.

I recognized i am used to life the opposite. I put myself under a lot of pressure. I have an idea of what it means to relax & surrender and let go. But i dont know how to live it and until now i didn't even realize this is an important issue for me, something i should take a closer look at.

What did you find when doing this exercise? Is the commentary on the soccer game a necessity for the play to happen?

The commentary is not necessary for the play. With the voice i felt more tension, more drama - even i wasn't interested in the game. Without the voice the silence felt immense, after the noise before, ialso didnt felt comfortable with it.

And in the same way, is the inner narration of thought a necessity for the play of life to happen?

No, it's for sure not!
We have gotten in the habit of overthinking everything. I can see it is useless and harmful, but i don't know how to break the habbit.

Love,
Sundance

Good morning, Sumdance

i would like to be able to give up control.

How can you give up something you never had?.

You already have no control. All you really have to do is recognize it. You only *think * you have control. But that is a story made up after the fact. This thinking is so fast & constant that we don't notice the truth until we've slow down or stop & LOOK

The story of a "self" is exactly the same way

There is already no self Just LOOK.

Can you find this "self" in Direct Experience or is it only a thought? Maybe with a heavy lie Sensation? ?


Loving

Hello Stacy,
Again i wasn't able to load the LU webside until now.

I answered the last questions outside from LU in a Docs app, as i did before. But now i cant copy my reply in here, because there is no longer an option for "paste" in this document. I tried it several times.

I will try it again tomorrow...

Love,
Sundance

Hi Stacy,
I closed the webside and opened up again. This helped...

How can you give up something you never had?

Can you find this "self" in Direct Experience or is it only a thought? Maybe with a heavy lie Sensation?

I read again the LU “Guidance for Awakening” (in german) yesterday and I can truly see there is no “self”.

But how to establish this? I didn't had a shift of perception or similar.

I try to stay in direct experience and label thoughts as a thought (without a me in the background).

Love,
Sundance

Hi Sundance,

Sorry about the website problems. They're working on it.

I didn't had a shift of perception or similar.

I try to stay in direct experience and label thoughts as a thought (without a me in the background).

We cannot force or cause this shift but you'll know when it happens.

ButtChair is your go to pointer. You can repeat any & all pointers and re-read your thread.

You can also try these. Be sure to listen to the introduction first.

https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fo/k1ph01pt ... sn1g&dl=0

"Enlightenment is an accident. Meditation makes us accident prone."

Sunryu Suzuki

We cannot predict it and we cannot make it happen. We can only practice the conditions in which it is more likely.

This frustrates the mind because it wants everything to be linear and logical and step-by-step, but this is not. It is non linear and unpredictable.

Hi Stacy,
Thank you for the dropbox link. I heard the first meditation guidance this morning and i was able to go deep into it. Very beautiful!
I am looking forward to the next ones.
Love,
Sundance

Good.

Let me know how they're going.

Loving,

From my first post:

One thing that is helpful is to come to this forum
& post every day. Sometimes the site goes down. It will be back. Just come back later.


Loving,

Hello Stacy,
I had big expactations on getting great insights of the other meditations. I heard mostly every meditation on sunday, which took a lot of time, and left me frustrated, because not one really clicked with me.
The next morning after wake up i was full of fear about my whole life situation. I had the idea of going back to hear the meditations, and suddenly the "beginning thinking" resonated very much. I understood, there is the silence awerness under all thinking. It gave me peace and the whole day was relaxed, spending some hours in nature.
Later on i looked some of Ilonas inquiry videos in the hope to get deeper into the process through a video session.
Tonight i woke up at 3 am and wasnt able to get back to sleep. I looked another video. After this it was very clear to me there is no doer. I was able to see that i do nothing intentionaly. I felt peaceful and clear.
After hours in bed, trying to get some more sleep, i was back "in my mind" and felt nothing but tiredness and sadness.
I thought about meeting somebody but i felt to vulnerable to make contact. I lost a lot of my contacts bec i felt i have nothing to say or bec i was disappointed from people. I had a problematic childhood and this is probably the reason i dont trust people and developed a complex trauma.
So today i feel hopeless & alone and i cried a lot. Also i am very tired bec of less sleep.

Love,
Sundance

Hi Sundance

Yes, many things come up to be looked at.

I recommend The Work of Byron Katie for that. I'm pretty sure her books have been translated into German.

www.thework.com

suddenly the "beginning thinking" resonated very much. I understood, there is the silence awerness under all thinking. It gave me peace and the whole day wa

Good! Maybe some of the others will also become clearer.

Keep LOOKING. Keep posting here.

Loving,

Key Books in German

Lieben was ist: Wie vier Fragen Ihr Leben verändern können (Loving What Is: How Four Questions Can Change Your Life)

Wer wäre ich ohne mein Drama?: Konfliktlösungen mit "The Work" (Who Would I Be Without My Drama?: Conflict Solutions with "The Work")

The Method: "The Work"

"The Work" is a self-inquiry process developed by Byron Katie to help people question painful thoughts and beliefs.

It centers on four specific questions that challenge the truth of a thought:

Is it true?
Can you absolutely know that it's true?
How do you react when you believe that thought?
Who would you be without the thought?

Byron Katie's work, including her translated books, can be found on platforms like Amazon.com and through local booksellers specializing in spiritual and self-help literature.

Hi Stacy,
I read every book and looked endless youtubes of her doing the work.
I tried it several times for myself - answering the questions. But the thoughts & feelings dont go away and i never felt a kind of relief.
It made me searching even harder for Awakening.

I heard Pernille saying, its ghosting, when you say there is no trauma cause theres no I.
I started a psychtherapie with an IFS Therapist and i have also an appointment with an Pesso-Bioenergetik Therapist this week, who offers a group.

Love,
Sundance

Okay.

When you are new to The Work it is best to do it with a facilitator..There is a free helpline in the United States. I don't know if you can access that.

But I'm glad you're getting some help with that aspect

Please keep LOOKING with ButtChair or Dropbox or other pointers. Write herewith is found, even if it's the same.

Much love,