Becoming No One

[NoPerson]

Ah, that. Yes, I have seen it already.

[NoPerson]

Perceiving Receiving

Similar to the others, I struggle to follow the instruction to rest as the receiving space. Going to try out all the remaining practices, and stick to the one that suits me best. So far it's Beginning Thinking.

Last night I noticed something. I had observed before during a meditation when I scratched an itch that that happened completely unaware, and I only became aware after the fact. So I started to pay attention to if there is a doer at all, and I didn't find one. And then I had a few moments when doing just happened, and thinking just happened. I wanted to go for a walk, but it was not that I decided it. It was a very light feeling. Not sure if this is worth mentioning. It was my direct experience yesterday, now it's just thought.

[Anastacia42]

Yes, very worth mentioning. That's clarity!

You must stop struggling and just relax.

Seeing only happens when you are relaxed, possibly wee when you aren't even looking or thinking about it.

Loving,

[NoPerson]

Yes, easier said than done, but yes.
Very busy day today.

[NoPerson]

Just like yesterday, I can't find a private or quiet moment.
Today is packed with responsibilities and activities until the late night.
I expect things to calm down from tomorrow on.

[Anastacia42]

You don't have to stop your life to do these pointers. Do them in the middle of the busy-ness. Do them on the busy-ness.

Listen to recorded pointers while washing dishes.

Be sure to listen to the Introduction.

https://www.dropbox.com/sh/ksba3zhi9uuz ... hsk1a?dl=0

Loving

[NoPerson]

I have been doing the Butt Chair practice whenever I thought of it. In the office, on the train, while having dinner, while sitting on the couch watching Netflix, and sometimes doing nothing but 100% focusing only on the experience.

What I primarily meant is that I need a quiet moment to write. Even though I am not writing much... :)

Listen to recorded pointers while washing dishes.

I started doing this, and also listened to it while I was at the gym today. It's hard to follow every instruction when there are so many distractions. Was only half paying attention. But probably still good to go through all of it once and then come back to the meditations/pointers that resonated the most.

Here is something I noticed. Like with the Beginning Thinking meditation, any sensation or sight when becoming aware is already old. When the mind labels it, it not only labels it, but it interprets and gives it meaning. But there is an awareness underneath that, where these sensations arise, sometimes or actually most of the time, without the mind noticing at all. This is where I need to rest. But I don't really know what it means to rest there. I only sense this place faintly.

I have also been continuing to look for the doer. That hasn't led to the clarity like it did the other day.

[Anastacia42]

Okay. Try to become more aware of your body, especially your gut feelings.


Actual/Direct Experience - Apple

Have a look at an apple (or any fruit you like.) If you have a ‘real’ apple, you can use it for this exercise. Google for a picture of an apple.



When looking at an apple, there's color; a thought saying ‘apple’; and maybe a thought saying, "I'm looking at an apple."

What is known for sure? Color is known and thoughts are known.

What about the content of thoughts, what they describe?

Actual experience does not refer to thoughts ABOUT something…because that is only just more thought.

Actual experience is sound, thought, color, smell, taste, sensation and the fact of thought arising, but not its content.

Is there really an ‘apple’ here, or only color and a thought ABOUT ‘apple’?

Can ‘apple’ be found in actual experience?

While these thoughts are known, what they talk ABOUT can't be found in actual experience.

This is what is meant by "looking in actual experience." What you know for sure, and, is always here.

Taste labeled ‘apple’ is known
Color labeled ‘apple’ is known
Sensation labeled ‘apple’ is known (when apple is touched)
Smell labeled ‘apple’ is known
Thought about/of an ‘apple’ is known

However, is an apple actually known?

Have fun and let me know what you find out.

Loving,

[NoPerson]

What about the content of thoughts, what they describe?

Content of thoughts is not known. Thoughts like "this is an apple" could be true or not true. We don't know for sure. But the experience, seeing an apple, is true and real.

Is there really an ‘apple’ here, or only color and a thought ABOUT ‘apple’?

There are experiences that are labelled apple. Only those experiences are here.

Can ‘apple’ be found in actual experience?

There are only experiences that are labelled with the concept "apple". This concept "apple" is the content or the construct of thought. It cannot be found in actual experience.

However, is an apple actually known?

No.

[Anastacia42]

https://youtu.be/Ph02o6K2aoo?si=fbgWPlrsVROpzeRX


"Apple" is a label, a made up thought.

Thoughts like "this is an apple" could be true or not true. We don't know for sure. But the experience, seeing an apple, is true and real.

No. This isn't exactly about whether it's true or not.

But content of thought is never "true." It is all made up in our thinking. The generic experience of our 5 senses is true, in a sense.

There is something we can See, Smell & Touch. but the label "apple" is made up.

Let's try another pointer to be sure you're clear on the differences.

Fruit Exercise

Have a piece of fruit handy, or something that you like to eat. For the first couple of minutes imagine you are eating the fruit…..feel the sensations of chewing, the taste, the texture, the fragrance, hear the crunching sound that the chewing makes. Really enjoy the imaginary piece of fruit as much as you can.

Then for the next couple of minutes actually bite the fruit and see the difference. Experience the fruit with curiosity and dive into the sensations of chewing, swallowing, the sounds and the taste. Really enjoy the experience of actually eating the piece of fruit.

Then for another minute or so describe the taste and smell in as much detail as possible. Write about it here. What was the experience like?

After you have done this, tell me what you noticed when you compared these three experiences:-

1. Imaginary fruit
2. Real fruit
3. Description

Loving,

[NoPerson]

https://youtu.be/Ph02o6K2aoo?si=fbgWPlrsVROpzeRX

I love it.

Write about it here. What was the experience like?

Feeling the piece of apple in the hand.
Smelling not much, maybe a faint grasslike smell.
Teeth touching the fruit, biting off a piece, sensation of juice running in mouth, hearing crunch sound.
Sweet taste, fruity. Thinking that, I expected it to be more sour.
Fresh taste. Sensation of chewing...
...the rest of the experience has faded away somehow. Also, I don't seem to find very good words.

After you have done this, tell me what you noticed when you compared these three experiences:-

1. Imaginary fruit
2. Real fruit
3. Description

1. is thinking about the future. 3. is thinking about the past. 2. is the actual experience.

Neither thinking about how it will be like (1.) nor how it was actually like (3.) comes even remotely close to the actual experience (2.). The nature of 1. and 3. is very similar, almost the same. The nature of 2. is completely different.

[Anastacia42]

SEEING there's no separate "self" is like the real & present exposed eating fruit.

Remember Colored Socks?

Here & now only. Direct Experience, not thinking.

Clear?

[NoPerson]

Remember Colored Socks?

Yes, absolutely. When we want to know what the color of the socks is, we can either try to remember, or look and check it. Only when looking and checking we can be 100% sure what color they are.

Here & now only. Direct Experience, not thinking.

Clear?

This is clear. I can't stop thinking, though. But I can decide to not pay attention to the content of thought, not believe it. And try to not get carried away by chains of thoughts.

I have been doing this the last couple of days: I looked for the self. There was sound, and taste, smell or the absence thereof. There was sight. Seeing objects in the room. Seeing the body. Is this "me"? No, just colors/shapes. Feeling sensations in the body, a warm energy in legs, feet, arms, hands, upper body. Is this "me"? "It feels like me". That's a thought. "It still feels like me". What and where exactly is that me in that feeling? "It feels very familiar". Sensation with a label. At some point it was like there was only this feeling (of me) and the thought wasn't experienced on the surface in an obvious way. Can a thought be unconscious? Or was I just not paying attention well enough? However, when I now write this, it seems obvious that this was just a plain old thought.

I am going to do this again and again and again, as long as necessary.

[Anastacia42]

Good. You are doing very well.

I can't stop thinking, though. But I can decide to not pay attention to the content of thought, not believe it. And try to not get carried away by chains of thoughts.

Correct. Thoughts don't often stop. They do sometimes, for a little while, but mostly they will always be there. The point is to do exactly as you said, not pay attention, not believe them, not get carried away.

Keep playing with it. Stay relaxed. Do ButtChair and the DropBox pointers.

Seeing is likely to happen when you least expect it. It may become obvious all at once or it may slowly dawn on you. Either way, we are looking for a shift in perception.

Loving,

[Anastacia42]

Here is one more pointer to try:


Palm Flipping Exercise

1. Hold a hand in front of you; palm turned down.

2. Now turn the palm up. And down...and up and so on.

Watch like a hawk.

Don't go to thoughts – examine your direct experience.

Do this as many times as you like, and each time inquire:

How is the movement controlled?

Does a thought control it?

Can a ‘controller’ of any description be located?

How is the decision made to turn the hand over?

Track any decision point when a thought MADE THE DECISION to turn the hand over and the hand turns over immediately.

Who or what ​ chose which hand - the left or right hand for the exercise?

Can you find a separate individual or anything that is choosing when to turn the palm up or down?


Loving,