Now and Here and Nowhere?

[Ezilda]

Stacy, hi,

Watched the video.... interesting to contemplate my own reactions as they are reflected in the current state of affairs . . . and am seeing that this work can lift one out of anger and fear, which are not requirements for participation in activism... indeed, they are more likely to be detriments. ...

thanks, e

[Anastacia42]

Yes, I did The Work of Byron Katie for years before i woke up in 2007. Read her books. "Loving What Is" is the first one.


You never answered what a decision is. Look at the green list of Direct Experience. What is it? Any of those? Or something that is not DE?

The answer is one word.

Loving,

[Ezilda]

What is a decision?What is it? Any of those? Or something that is not DE?

a feeling ...... (an urge)

But must admit I'm not sure.. ...

But it seems like it's a feeling in the body -- a "body/yes" or "body/no" sort of thing.
And then there could be a thought that labels the choice that was made.

And I started reading Loving What Is online (found a pdf). . . . . could end up filling up a lot of notebooks.
thanks, e

[Anastacia42]

LOOK

A decision is a thought. There may be a sensation, but that isn't a decision, is it?.

So does it exist? Is there anyone making these so- called decisions? Or do things just happen? Life life-ing?

Didn't you just do 2 pointers on this? Review Palm Flipping & Drink Choice.

Loving,

[Ezilda]

So does it exist? Is there anyone making these so- called decisions? Or do things just happen? Life life-ing?

Flipping hands.

There is a thought to "do" something. A decision, perhaps, but also just happening.

There is a feeling or urge that pushes toward an action. (I think I thought this was what was actually doing or "making" the decision.) But it's also just happening.

Choosing a drink.
Incredibly arbitrary.

Thought: This drink. Feeling: subtle reaching. Hard to say which comes first.
But again, they're both just happening.

Things just happening.

[Anastacia42]

How does it FEEL that there is no one doing? No one *to* do anything?

Can you find any separate "self" anywhere?


Loving,

[Ezilda]

Stacy, hi . . . feeling like I keep circling this . . . .

How does it FEEL that there is no one doing? No one *to* do anything?

Catching myself through the day, doing little things before any decision occurred, --turning, reaching, picking my nails, tilting head, , etc .. .. usually noticing just as, or after, the action happens . ..
When really noticing it, there's a feeling of interest, curiosity . . . Almost surprise (but not quite -- these actions are habitual.) Sometimes in the recognizing, there's an empty/light feeling . . .

Can you find any separate "self" anywhere?

The only "self" I can find is the "I" embedded in thoughts. Just a thought, not a self.

The feelings of interest while observing what's happening can seem like a separate self--a watcher that's watching what's happening. . .a knower that knows what's happening . . .
but with closer examination these are seen to be feelings, thoughts . . . not a self . . .

thanks, e

[Anastacia42]

Good morning,

Did you notice that in your whole reply there is only one FEELING? Your answer Is 99% thoughts. We're ignoring those, remember?

Curiosity is not a feeling. It is a thought, a label. Can you see that?

there's an empty/light feeling . . .

This "empty/light feeling" is the truth feeling. THAT'S the one! There's no "self:" and that feels true!

We still have awareness, but that's not a "self."

So, here is a pointer that may force you to look, not think:

ButtChair

Please LOOK for any place where your butt ends & the chair begins.

Is there any clear dividing line between them? Or only the Sensation with no clear division?


It is simple direct & nonverbal. Just LOOK.

Then write what is true.

I did only this and nothing else for 3 months and then saw. It crept up on me while I was sitting at a stoplight. Seeing often happens when we are simply relaxed and looking. I should say, it ONLY happens when we are relaxed and LOOKING. All of this thinking is useless. Truly.

Give it a try & report ONLY Direct Experience of the 5 senses. You can say a thought arose, but we don't care what it said.

Watch for the "empty/light FEELING."

Loving,

[Ezilda]

Stacy, hi,

Did you notice that in your whole reply there is only one FEELING?

Ok ... interest, surprise, curiosity . . . not feelings . . .

Please LOOK for any place where your butt ends & the chair begins.

Ok, more of a FEEL than a LOOK

Is there any clear dividing line between them? Or only the Sensation with no clear division?

No clear dividing line.
Lots of sensation. .. pressure, tingling, etc ... butt
Tensions/contractions having to do with "trying" to find a dividing line ... torso/jaw/face . ...
Occasionally more relaxation, lightness .. .

Thoughts (of course)
Though less thinking

thanks, e

[Anastacia42]

MUCH better.

Stay focused on here and now and keep practicing and reporting here what you feel.

Loving,

[Ezilda]

Stacy, hi . . .

Stay focused on here and now and keep practicing and reporting here what you feel.

Spent an hour back with sitting and looking where butt ends, cushion begins . . . . and toward the end it was quite clear there was no direct experience of a cushion -- there was only the sensation of pressure/tingling/heat etc in butt . . .
The whole "cushion" thing -- just a thought!
Even the whole "body/buttock" thing -- just a thought!
Feelings of Ah-hah!

Off and on back to here/now (or butt) through a busy day . . . often distracted/phone calls, etc.
thoughts, thoughts, thoughts . . .
Some direct experiences with seeing . . . and thoughts,
but sometimes absent thought and feelings more of softness, chest expansion . . .sort of a fullness . .

[Anastacia42]

Excellent!

Feel & See how different & direct this is?

Stay with that. The ACT of looking in this present moment is the point.

Loving,

[Ezilda]

Stacy, hi, Looking in this present moment, yes, is the point.

Feel & See how different & direct this is?

Yes. Very direct.

Working with the butt excercise again, in sitting .... awareness of pressure also in thighs, feet. .. .
again no real contact objects, just thoughts . ...
A sense of spaciousness. ...

Looking at a wall with a metal towel bar. Just form and color.
Even the sense of dimension, imagined/thought, not a direct experience.
There was a sort of floating feeling with this. . . .

The trick is remembering to be looking. In this present moment.
Much of the day caught in thoughts/moods/trying.

Tomorrow, no internet for a couple of days... will write to you again Monday,
thanks, e

[Anastacia42]

sort of floating feeling with this. . .

Yes! The truth feeling. Pay attention to this.

See you Monday.

[Ezilda]

Stacy, hi,
Spent the weekend in the countryside with friends, then busy with friends/business calls on Monday.... lots of distraction and side-tracking from "staying focussed on the present moment."

sort of floating feeling with this. . . Yes! The truth feeling. Pay attention to this.

At random times I actually remembered to focus on the preseent moment...
Seeing vistas of trees, hillsides, blue sky/white clouds -- simply beautiful! with feelings of delight/expansion, even floaty
During interactions with people there could be a sense of distance/less connected . . . more just seeing them . . .This felt calm, but also a bit cool, aloof . .
Other times, in focussing on the moment, I might recognize having no sense of an agenda in the conversaton, and it felt light/easy

Even more forgetful with the busy-ness of today . ... hoping to be more focussed tomorrow....