Beginning Anew

[OpenAwareing]

I'm not sure where to go from here. Thanks for your input.

[Elad]

I'm not sure where to go from here. Thanks for your input.

Allow this not sure. Be gentle. Write me soon.

[OpenAwareing]

I want to watch thoughts arise. This is easy when they have no emotional content. But when they do (judgments, for example), I'd like to ask myself: am I sure they're true? Or are they devoid of meaning, simply karma/conditioning?

Any support you can offer with this would be appreciated.

I'll be out of town this weekend. I'm not sure if I can write Friday or Saturday.

[Elad]

I want to watch thoughts arise. This is easy when they have no emotional content. But when they do (judgments, for example), I'd like to ask myself: am I sure they're true? Or are they devoid of meaning, simply karma/conditioning?

Any support you can offer with this would be appreciated.

I'll be out of town this weekend. I'm not sure if I can write Friday or Saturday.

My sense is, rather then try and deal with this now, and rather than try and steer the process with these ideas and intentions you fabricate, stay with my instructions. Which at this point essentially is be: Keep looking for you, for a self, for whatever it is HERENOW that seems to be you. Is there a self anywhere? All free time. Until its 100% clear and no doubt or hesitation.

Your mind might say it doesn't work or doesn't help or you're stuck. If you want to try following my guidance don't listen to that. Keep practicing the same way. And when it feels meaningless, helpless, useless, pointless, joyless, whatever - be with how it feels without words. And keep looking for self.

I know you might not trust this or might not want to do it or might convince yourself you can't.

[OpenAwareing]

I trust it. I can do it. Doubts are here- I have been voicing them- but they are no reason not to continue.

It continues to be true that whenever I look for a self I can't find one. But I could be looking more often during the day.

[Elad]

I trust it. I can do it. Doubts are here- I have been voicing them- but they are no reason not to continue.

It continues to be true that whenever I look for a self I can't find one. But I could be looking more often during the day.

Good.

When you recognize that nothing in experience is identified as self, look for what takes you out of seeing again. Is it thought habit with no emotional charge or energy? Or reactivity to movement of sensations? Or beliefs/expectations about how awakening will be different that have still not been seen for the illusion they are and let go of? As always this is not something to think about, but to look many times.

[OpenAwareing]

It is thought habit, but with energy and usually with charge. It is also reactivity, mostly to emotions.

I would simply describe it as a function of speed. I need to slow down to see clearly. Going at my normal pace, I get lost in thinking/emoting/sensing.

[Elad]

It is thought habit, but with energy and usually with charge. It is also reactivity, mostly to emotions.

I would simply describe it as a function of speed. I need to slow down to see clearly. Going at my normal pace, I get lost in thinking/emoting/sensing.

Great, so things sound pretty clear the way you describe. How about we go through some traditional Liberation Unleashed exercises just to deepen the clarity? Here is one to start with. If I send one I sent you before let me know.

Introductory Body Exercise

Sit with eyes closed for about 15 minutes.

Paying attention only to the pure sensations, without relying on thoughts or mental images:

Can it be known how tall the body is?

Does the body have a weight or volume?

In the actual experience does the body have a shape or a form?

Is there a boundary between the body and the clothing? Is there a boundary between the body and the chair?

Is there an inside or an outside?

If there is an inside - the inside of what exactly?

If there is an outside - the outside of what exactly?

What does the word/label ‘body’ ACTUALLY refer to? What is the ACTUAL experience of the body?

Look very carefully, especially with the last question. Take your time, don’t rush. You can look several times during the day while doing other things (like washing hands, showering, having a short break from work, walking, etc) before replying.

[Elad]

It is thought habit, but with energy and usually with charge. It is also reactivity, mostly to emotions.

I would simply describe it as a function of speed. I need to slow down to see clearly. Going at my normal pace, I get lost in thinking/emoting/sensing.

Great, so things sound pretty clear the way you describe. How about we go through some traditional Liberation Unleashed exercises just to deepen the clarity? Here is one to start with. If I send one I sent you before let me know.

Introductory Body Exercise

Sit with eyes closed for about 15 minutes.

Paying attention only to the pure sensations, without relying on thoughts or mental images:

Can it be known how tall the body is?

Does the body have a weight or volume?

In the actual experience does the body have a shape or a form?

Is there a boundary between the body and the clothing? Is there a boundary between the body and the chair?

Is there an inside or an outside?

If there is an inside - the inside of what exactly?

If there is an outside - the outside of what exactly?

What does the word/label ‘body’ ACTUALLY refer to? What is the ACTUAL experience of the body?

Look very carefully, especially with the last question. Take your time, don’t rush. You can look several times during the day while doing other things (like washing hands, showering, having a short break from work, walking, etc) before replying.

(please always answer all questions in the exercises, one by one)

[OpenAwareing]

There are just sensations, sounds, thoughts, etc. There is no experience of weight, inside, etc.

[Elad]

There are just sensations, sounds, thoughts, etc. There is no experience of weight, inside, etc.

Okay, answers seen to be quite clear. You want more exercises to check the clarity or we could move to final questions. Any doubt? Any expectations something should shift more or differently? How do you feel with the process?

In LU we ask final questions when the client expresses seeing. Then I and three other guides ask clarifying questions if it's called for.

[OpenAwareing]

I'm not really sure. As I go about my life, the sense of a separate self is still here. It is only when I slow down and pay close attention that I see that I can't find one.

[Elad]

I'm not really sure. As I go about my life, the sense of a separate self is still here. It is only when I slow down and pay close attention that I see that I can't find one.

Seems to me you are stuck on evaluating where you are at. In evaluation this will never be resolved, it is not in evaluation that insight and clarity happens. Evaluation is inherently about an imagined person.

The question is in direct experience here and now, as if your life and the life of your family depends on it, answering like this is the most important moment of your whole life: do you see and find a separate self? Do you control anything?

If your answer has a quality of evaluating, explaining, discussing - you can be sure this just thoughts and thought identification being shared. Give your whole heart and being to looking and answering if you really care deeply.

[Elad]

Ps. Whatever reactions come to my text, study dem closely. Are they chosen? The emotional vibe, the thoughts, the heart opening or closing or feeling numb, the thoughts being grateful and curious, or critical and dissatisfied, or mistrusting of "self/guide", or afraid, or indifferent, or hopeless, or arrogantly knowing better, or any mixture - is any of it chosen? Watch closely the emergence and movement of sensations, thoughts, reactions, movement. Don't buy into any of it, just see, is anything there chosen, is anything "me, in my control, my choice, me". And don't answer based on any of that. Keep looking until you answer from a heartful appreciative of and surrencered to reality place.

[OpenAwareing]

In direct experience here and now I never find a separate self. Not now. Not the last time I looked. Not the time before that.

None of my reactions are chosen. They appear by themselves. This is quite clear and consistent.