I need help seeing through the illusory I with clarity

[Anastacia42]

I'll reply soon. You're doing fine.

The question to ask is, "can I find any separate self anywhere?"

The truth is that self is nothing but a made up thought period.

Loving,

[Anastacia42]

"Self" is a pack of lies.

If you can't See Hear Feel Taste or Smell it. then it's just stories. a thought.

Loving,

[Vit1]

Will look into that. Thank you.

[Vit1]

Still working on the above question, haven't seen a clear answer yet... Meditations and daily life noticing these past two days have been less than insightful but will keep going at it and report back soon.
Thanks
Vito

[Vit1]

Still noticing here and there...much easier when not a work, when I have a chance to slow down a bit like in meditation or when tending the garden in the evening. Funny how some days the insights realised result in lots of clarity everywhere, and then on following days the fog seems to return. Clarity and fog seem to cycle quite a bit..

[Anastacia42]

This can go back & forth for a long time. I shared those 2 videos with you right?

Just let me know how it feels to see when you're clear.

Let me know if you're clear that there is no separate self.

Loving,

[Vit1]

Morning Stacy, yes you did share the two videos about going back and forth, thanks.

Meditation this morning was clear. The experience was of no separate self, thoughts were appearing, just patterns of thought arising + the "I" thought tailgating each previous one. When work planning thoughts came up the sense of separate self was more intense (sensation build up behind the eyes) but that too was seen as a series of thoughts arising on their own. This was quite clear. It is quite amazing to see that the sense of separate self is really just a bundle of thoughts swirling around the place, kind of like a whirlpool in a body of water, seemingly separate but still only water, no separate from the body of water.

There was easiness associated with clear seeing, sort of a going with the flow, no resistance.

Now just typing and looking at the screen, few thoughts in background.

Question for you. During the work day, when not clear seeing and getting caught up in thoughts, does the "muddiness" build up again? Do the believes that have been seen through before, rebuild themselves back up?

Thanks again for your help.
Vito

[Anastacia42]

Yes! Yes! Yes!

There was easiness associated with clear seeing, sort of a going with the flow, no resistance.
This is excellent! You're seeing what is true!

During the work day, when not clear seeing and getting caught up in thoughts, does the "muddiness" build up again? Do the believes that have been seen through before, rebuild themselves back up?

If you saw a man in a red suit & white beard, would you suddenly believe in Santa Claus? Or if you saw a person in a big bunny suit, would you believe in the Easter Bunny?

No. You would not.

So while seeing comes & goes and yes it can get pretty muddy sometimes, you *know better.*

I suggest you take a little time & practice at work.

Seeing is just the beginning. Now you will encounter various nests of false thoughts. Just question them. Find what is true.

When you're ready, we have some traditional "final" questions. Let me know.

This is great!

Loving

[Vit1]

Hey Stacy, I've had a chance to notice the flow of things while at work and dare I say, there seems to be a little more space, kind of like not being sucked in stories as easily as before. If feels like there is some small but consistent distance between the ongoing experience and the common stickiness of the stories accompanying it. Not sure if that makes any sense. Will keep noticing (not that it can do anything else to be honest)...

[Anastacia42]

Not sure if that makes any sense. Will keep noticing (not that it can do anything else to be honest)...

It does make sense. Keep doing that at work. You're doing great!

Much love,

[Vit1]

Thanks Stacy. Here below some notes from this morning:

Lots of clarity during meditation hour. The noticing (or truth seeking energy) is here and operating on its own.

The impersonal arising of thoughts and "me" labels was seen clearly, again. There truly is a "me" label after each morsel of experience and thought overlay.

Feels like I've seen the "me/mine/I" label in hundreds of instances this morning. I can say for sure that it wasn't seen clearly all the time but maybe 80% of the time. This is more clarity than anything before.

"I" am not doing any of it, this noticing is automatic, no effort required.

There was some clarity also in the following 20 minutes while on the rowing machine, which is a bit of a first when it comes to training.

Thanks again for your help.
Vito

[Anastacia42]

Well, if it's 80% you're golden. That's plenty good!

Remember, it won't be 100% !

Given that, are you ready to say you're certain there's no separate "self?"

You can keep looking. You can attend our teleconferences. Even after you and I are complete with these questions.

Loving

[Vit1]

Will keep looking a bit longer and reply back as soon as...

[Anastacia42]

Good.

Tell me what you are seeing and feeling.

What questions do you have?

You can re-read your thread and practice anything you like. Also, read Gateless Gatecrashers.

Much love,

[Vit1]

Hi Stacy, no real questions at the moment, just working through the same one (is there a separate self anywhere) to make sure it's clear. Clarity comes and goes and the last two days have been partly foggy. I have felt more drawn to the body these past couple of days. Also, the feeling of slight detachment from daily drama is still there, but in summary everything feels a bit calmer than usual - not feeling as easily triggered (e.g. getting angry) as In the past and there have been a few times where the chance arose.

Thanks again for your patience and time.
Cheers
Vito