1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
There is not a separate “self”, “me”, or “I” at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form. There never was and there never will be. It just is.
2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
There is no ability to directly experience this body/mind as a newborn but it appears that human babies are not born with any identity or concept of “separate self”. It appears that in the year after birth, babies naturally become inquisitive and begin to explore the perceived environment. When this happens, parents or whomever begin to introduce language labels so that the baby can slowly begin to recognize objects and gain knowledge. With a growing language and a budding curiosity for things to “play” with, babies are “taught” which objects are desirable and which are to be avoided. When a baby/toddler can express and communicate a desire for an object and experiences the result of a parent or whomever acting on that communication, a “sense of self” and “other” arises in the babies mind. A “sense of control” is perceived and learned and practiced repeatedly.
Sometimes it appears that young children get what they want and sometimes don’t get what they want. In either case, it appears that emotions lead to a reaction one way or another and it is perceived and learned how “others” react to that reaction. Because there is a developing “sense of self” and “others”, subtle and not so subtle manipulations appear to occur in order to accumulate “positive” experiences and to avoid “negative” experiences. “I” could go on but this is a generalization labelled “theory of mind”. In “my” experience, I helped raise 3 children up to the teen years and this fits with what I observed (apparently).
All of this is just story - In DE, “separate self” cannot be seen or felt anywhere. The concept is in a way “seen thru” and the selfish clinging to “me” or “mine” no longer leads this body/mind around like a nose ring in a bull.
3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
In DE, it feels as if there is now more space and more allowance to just be. There appears to be less stress dedicated to pursuit and accomplishment. There appears to be fewer thoughts regarding FOMO and less pressure put on “myself” to achieve success for I no longer see or feel a “myself”.
4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
The apple.
5) Describe decision & give examples from experience.
Relatively, “decision” appears as a rational process that engages thought as a tool within the mind. The goal being to “choose” one desired result over another based on assumptions (thoughts) and perceptions (also thoughts). As an artist, or better yet - “when arting” - a painting’s “balance” (both color and form) can be tweaked to achieve or convey a desired emotion. Thought is engaged to compare and contrast potential concepts based on visual cues, bodily sensations, memories, theories, etc. Any “decision” can appear to be manifested with tools and materials (brushes and paint) and tested with senses (sight, etc.). Further decisions are made regarding these decisions and on and on until a piece of art appears to be “finished”.
All of this however is just thought and appears to be carried out by mind, by “ego”. Ultimately, in DE, there is no decision making. There are no decisions, just appearances. Brain activity can be apparently observed with MRI many seconds prior to the perception of “decision” which helps to realize there is no “me the decider”.
Describe intention & give examples from experience.
As with “decision”, relative examples can be given but “intention” is just a thought and when feeling into DE, only sensing and thinking can be experienced. “Intention” is a label that refers to a thought or a string of thoughts. “Intentions” do not inherently exist.
Describe free will & give examples from experience.
Same as above. “Free will” is a concept that appears along with other concepts such as a “separate self”, “me”, and “mine”. When “separate self” is realized to be an illusion - a concept of mind, “free will” simultaneously dissolves. In DE, there is no “free will”. It does not inherently exist.
Describe choice & give examples from experience.
“Choices” are thoughts and in DE, only thinking and sensing is real. The content of thoughts, ie. “choices” do not inherently exist.
Describe control & give examples from experience.
Since in DE, there cannot be found to be “decisions”, “intentions”, “free will”, or “choices”, so too “control” is not a “thing” and does not inherently exist.
What makes things happen? How does it work?
“Things” do not “happen”. There are no “things” and there is nothing “happening”. There are appearances. There just is.
What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.
This is a tricky one but strictly speaking, “I” am not “responsible” for anything. There is no inherently existing “I” and “responsibility” is a concept that refers to thought content which also do not inherently exist. Relatively speaking, there is a large story that can be created in response to this prompt but again, it would be just a story - not real.
6) Anything to add?
There just is. There is nothing to add and nothing to add to :). Just infinite paradox. Wholeness….
