Hi Stacy,
I agree with your suggestion.
The question here is whether you can clearly see that there is no "self," no "control," no "free will," no personal "responsibility? "
I can see clearly that there is no separate self that is in control and responsible for choices and decisions.
1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
No, there isn't and there never was. It's all emptiness.
2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
What I thought it was 'me' was a mental construct born of all the conditioning I received. With this construct in place, I thought that I was in control and responsible for the decisions and choices in my life. After I saw the emptiness within I lost the motivation to do many things that arose from that mental construct (the ego).
3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
I feel more relaxed and at peace. I don't over rationalize decisions/choices and I'm totally aware that I have no control of life and accept what comes.
4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
I had a direct experience of emptiness (no self) without using the LU method that lasted for several weeks/months. Later, with the help of a LU guide, I looked into the exercise of 'Hand flipping' and 'Water running down a hill' and realized that there is no separate self controlling, choosing, deciding or being responsible.
5) Describe decision & give examples from experience.
Decision arises from preferences and life circumstances, not from a separate self. I decided to buy an apartment in town because I sold my previous one in another town where I don't work and live anymore (life circumstances). I searched and visited several apartments but none meet my budget, location and square meters (preferences and life circumstances). Thus, the buy was postponed. There was not a separate self solely responsible for the decision.
Describe intention & give examples from experience.
Intentions arise from preferences and life circumstances, not from a separate self. For instance, I have the intention to create my own job because of my independent nature (preference) and because I was unpleased with my corporate job and quitted (preferences & life circumstances).
Describe free will & give examples from experience.
There is not a separate self with free-will because everything is interconnected and everything happens as a result of the whole. For instance, I can choose to be more social but in truth it will depend of life circumstances, opportunities, etc.
Describe choice & give examples from experience.
Choice arises from preferences and life circumstances, not from a separate self. For instance, the clothes I choose to dress depend of my preferences, availability, weather conditions, and purpose of activity.
Describe control & give examples from experience.
Control refers to the desire of the mind to influence people or the course of events to satisfy its expectations. In truth there is no separate self controlling the events in life. For instance, I can influence a person to go on a trip with me but this person might have an accident just before the trip and all plans need to be changed.
What makes things happen? How does it work?
I don't know. Everything makes things happen. Just happens.
What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.
There is no separate self responsible for anything because everything that happens is the result of all circumstances. For instance, I'm not solely responsible for quitting a job because it was a decision that resulted from personal preferences, life circumstances and other people behavior.
6) Anything to add?
No.
Love,
atmajnani
