Yes. But make sure that it’s totally clear that ‘when you try to be aware’ is also what is happening and not done. If any moment it feels like it is done, then just look for the doer the awarer.Should I continue to try to be aware, although there's no one to be aware or to try. LOL. It seems overwhelming at times and other times fairly simple.
I have been enjoying looking these past days. There is genuine looking (looking without any thought about needing to look) and also the apparent 'trying' to look, but seeing that it's all the same. I'm also letting go of trying as it feels like tension in the body.But make sure that it’s totally clear that ‘when you try to be aware’ is also what is happening and not done. If any moment it feels like it is done, then just look for the doer the awarer.
Please continue looking and we will see what happens. In a few days, please come back to share.
Next time, when there is a trying of letting go, inquire:I'm also letting go of trying as it feels like tension in the body.
So the chirping is happening TO someone?Sometimes it feels personal, like they are chirping for me.
Who is being brought out of thought stories?They have a way of bringing me out of thought stories.
This is the way it feels and the best way to describe the sensation. There is a sensation of a contraction in the body with tension. Like a tight fist. The tension causes pain--in the shoulders, neck and jaw. There also is a sense of fatigue around it. Best guess is the body wants to be healthy and survive so it responds in a manner to accomplish that. Thoughts pop in, stop trying, Trying is still reinforcing a separate self.Next time, when there is a trying of letting go, inquire:
What is it that is letting go of trying?
Who/what has a problem with tension?
Who / what feels the tension?
Again this is just a feeling in the body. A loud chirp is heard. Almost startling to the body. Attention is moved to the bird. Thought pops in 'remember to remember'. It could be described better as a sense of connection or oneness with the bird vs personal.So the chirping is happening TO someone?
Where is at the receiver end?
There is no who to be brought out of thought stories. There is emotion tied to the thought story making it seem like an entity at times.Who is being brought out of thought stories?
What is this me (or whatever) that sometimes is in and other times is out of thought stories?
Is there someone moving between these two states?
Or having these two states?
The body wants to be healthy? HOW do you know that?Best guess is the body wants to be healthy and survive so it responds in a manner to accomplish that.
Feeling in the body?Again this is just a feeling in the body.
I definitely need to use better wording. The body/organism withdrawals from pain stimulus, has innate ability to maintain homeostasis, fight or flight response, etc. No one is making these things happen, they just do.The body wants to be healthy? HOW do you know that?
Does the body actually want something/anything?
How do you know that?
Notice, that you are dressing up the body with its own will and wants, as if it were an entity / person.
There is a perceived feeling and a perceived body. The body is an experience, not an experiencer.Feeling in the body?
Is there a body + feelings/sensations?
And those feelings/sensations are INSIDE of that body? Is that really how it is?
Ok, with eyes closed, no it is unknown how tall the body is. The weight is undetectable. There is no form or shape to the body.Can it be known how tall the body is?
Does the body have a weight or volume?
In the actual experience does the body have a shape or a form?
Although there is a slight sensation of pressure from the clothing and chair, it can not be determined where one starts or stops.Is there a boundary between the body and the clothing?
Is there a boundary between the body and the chair?
There is a feeling of expansion. There is no inside or outside. There are no borders.Is there an inside or an outside?
If there is an inside - the inside of what exactly?
If there is an outside - the outside of what exactly?
The label body is referring to bones, skin, organs, etc.What does the word/label ‘body’ ACTUALLY refer to?
What is the ACTUAL experience of the body?
Let’s look at this more closely.Although there is a slight sensation of pressure from the clothing and chair, it can not be determined where one starts or stops.
Ah, thoughts were getting involved without realizing it.If you don’t consult with your thoughts, how do you know that the sensation that is present is the touching of clothing?
Or the pressure from the chair?
How do you even know that it’s pressure?
How many sensations are there, one for the clothing and another for the skin?
One for the ‘pressure coming from the chair’ and another for the skin?
I can see that clearly now. The mind got involved originally and was labeling chair, clothing, body, separately. The ACTUAL sensation is all one sensation.Just notice how interesting these discoveries are. It SEEMS like that there are 2 things in experience a body + a chair, or the body + clothing, but in reality there is only one experience going on, only a single sensation. Do you see that very clearly?
When the leg, for example, is being experienced, it feels out in the distance and not necessarily attached to anything. As the leg is sensed with wiggling toes, I don't know where it is registering. When that is looked at, it repeatedly leads to there is no self. Not a thought there is no self, but when looked for, a realization that there is no Erin registering all this. With each realization, there is a sensation of a quick pain in the chest. Like a shock.Look at this deeply… what else could you discover about the body, when looking at only experience?
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