The Gate

Hi Art,

Well, this is fun.

No. So why can't I stay/live from this space

I hate to tell you. but even after you see no self, seeing will come & go, maybe for years. We sometimes call it "got it/lost it."

Any time that you believe an untrue thought, you'll have to find what's true. That will help you to SEE again.

You can't "stay/ live from this space" because no one can and because of believing untrue thinking. Got it?

Okay, try this...



Palm Flipping Exercise

1. Hold a hand in front of you; palm turned down.

2. Now turn the palm up. And down...and up and so on.

Watch like a hawk.

Don't go to thoughts – examine your direct experience.

Do this as many times as you like, and each time inquire:

How is the movement controlled?

Does a thought control it?

Can a ‘controller’ of any description be located?

How is the decision made to turn the hand over? Track any decision point when a thought MADE THE DECISION to turn the hand over and the hand turns over immediately.

Who or what chose which hand - the left or right hand for the exercise?

Can you find a separate individual or anything that is choosing when to turn the palm up or down?

Loving,

Do this as many times as you like, and each time inquire:

How is the movement controlled?

Does a thought control it?

Can a ‘controller’ of any description be located?

How is the decision made to turn the hand over? Track any decision point when a thought MADE THE DECISION to turn the hand over and the hand turns over immediately.

Who or what chose which hand - the left or right hand for the exercise?

Can you find a separate individual or anything that is choosing when to turn the palm up or down?

This is incredibly intriguing. I would like to continue this for another day before responding.

- Art

Sure. Take all the time you need. Thank you for letting me know.

Loving

Okay, this is just flat-out weird. Distinctly different reactions depending on whether or not I am using my dominate hand (left) or my right hand.

Left hand:

How is the movement controlled?

Beats me, it is just happening.

Does a thought control it?

No! There is a story about subconscious thought controlling it but that both (for the first time on both a cognitive and experiential level) truly feels like just a story.

Can a ‘controller’ of any description be located?

Nope.

How is the decision made to turn the hand over? Track any decision point when a thought MADE THE DECISION to turn the hand over and the hand turns over immediately.

Can't find anything.

Who or what chose which hand - the left or right hand for the exercise?

Instinct?

Can you find a separate individual or anything that is choosing when to turn the palm up or down?

Nope.




Right hand:

How is the movement controlled?

Me.

Does a thought control it?

Yes.

Can a ‘controller’ of any description be located?

Kinda.

How is the decision made to turn the hand over? Track any decision point when a thought MADE THE DECISION to turn the hand over and the hand turns over immediately.

Thoughts: Look. Flip. Look. Flip. etc.

Who or what chose which hand - the left or right hand for the exercise?

Me? The exercise instructions?

Can you find a separate individual or anything that is choosing when to turn the palm up or down?

I can find a thought.

Hi Art,

Okay, this is just flat-out weird. Distinctly different reactions depending on whether or not I am using my dominate hand (left) or my right hand.

Look closer. Are you sure of your right hand answers? Or are there just strong thoughts you're believing?

How, exactly, does any thought do this "controlling?

Can a ‘controller’ of any description be located?
Kinda.

This is where your story falls apart. "Kinda."

Be specific. Explain exactly what "controller" is found.

Look carefully. Don't be fooled by thoughts.

Loving,

Look carefully. Don't be fooled by thoughts.

Continuing to look. Getting some clarity. More tomorrow.

Sounds good.

Look closer. Are you sure of your right hand answers? Or are there just strong thoughts you're believing?

just thoughts.

How, exactly, does any thought do this "controlling?
Be specific. Explain exactly what "controller" is found.

There is a story about subconsciousness but even I am now having difficulty buying that explanation in the 'non-consensus reality' sense.

It's kinda weird. I am catching myself doing things before 'deciding.'

*whew*

Good noticing, Art!

It's kinda weird. I am catching myself doing things before 'deciding.'

Yes! Weird is exactly right. It will probably get weirder.

Continue to sit back & notice. Are you doing, deciding, controlling or choosing *anything at all*?

Try this:

Drink Exercise

The aim of the following exercise is to discover whether the function of choice can really be found or confirmed in actual experience. The idea of making ‘choices‘ is a very clear example of a function that we wrongly identify as the basis of our identity.

Here's what’s needed - a chair, a table and two different drinks. Any two drinks you like are okay for this: coffee, tea, milk, water, juices, smoothies, beer, wine, etc.

Preparation - Place the two drinks side by side on the table in front of you, sit comfortably on the chair and mentally label them as drink A and drink B.

Experiment - Finding the function of choice

Sit for a few moments, take a few relaxed breaths and let the dust settle. When you feel ready:

1. Look at drink A and at drink B. Think about their respective qualities, the things you like about them, compare and weigh the pros and cons of each. See if a preference is manifesting for one or the other.

2. Count to 5.

3. Choose one of the drinks. Pick it up and take a sip.

Questions:

Remember that we’re looking for some kind of function, a something, an ‘I’ which is doing the ‘choosing’.

In step 1 when thinking about their respective qualities, did you ‘choose’ the qualities? Or did they kind of appear by themselves? If some preferences manifested, did you ‘choose’ these preferences? Or did they just pop up by themselves?

In step 2 when you counted to 5, if the preferences took the back seat while the numbers took the front seat, did you ‘choose’ this sequence of event? Did you ‘choose’ to shut down the preferences to give way to the counting? Did you directly experience a mental function or faculty doing the ‘choosing’? Have you seen this function in action?

In step 3 where you made a choice, did you actually witness or directly experience a mental function or faculty doing the ‘choosing’? Did anything arise that announced, ‘I am the chooser’? If so, what does this function look like?

Sometimes we describe this sense of choosing as a ‘feeling’: It feels like ‘I’ did the ‘choosing’. But the question is, can a feeling ‘choose’? Is it in the nature of a feeling to ‘choose’?

Quote each question with the quote function & reply underneath, please.

Relax & have fun with it.



Loving,

Yes! Weird is exactly right. It will probably get weirder.

...as in grabbing two drinks and *then* sitting down in front of my laptop and *then* opening my browser to this exercise for the first time?

In step 1 when thinking about their respective qualities, did you ‘choose’ the qualities? Or did they kind of appear by themselves? If some preferences manifested, did you ‘choose’ these preferences? Or did they just pop up by themselves?

I didn't 'choose' the qualities. There was a bit of co-origination (when I noticed the water was "still" the other drink's carbonation came to mind). The preferences seemed to pop up out of desire (for lack of a better word) in the moment.

In step 2 when you counted to 5, if the preferences took the back seat while the numbers took the front seat, did you ‘choose’ this sequence of event? Did you ‘choose’ to shut down the preferences to give way to the counting? Did you directly experience a mental function or faculty doing the ‘choosing’? Have you seen this function in action?

This part was a bit jumbled in terms of clarity and sequence. A lot going on. Preferences definitely took a back seat while counting but were still around. Did I 'chose' to sit down the preferences to give way to counting? Well , I did tell the preferences to shut up on occasion. Did I directly experience a mental function or faculty doing the ‘choosing’? Well, something happened and I saw movement and grabbing and sipping. Did I go through a decision-tree process? Nope.

In step 3 where you made a choice, did you actually witness or directly experience a mental function or faculty doing the ‘choosing’? Did anything arise that announced, ‘I am the chooser’? If so, what does this function look like?

Nope. More like, "Well, I guess I'm going to have a sip of beer" as I brought it to my mouth.

Good morning,

All good.

It might be good if you can see more clearly that there is no choice. The ability to relax into SEEING is very much like what you're noticing here.

So, spend some time today "stepping back" and noticing whether you're actually "controlling" or "deciding" anything.

Report back with what is found.

Loving,

So, spend some time today "stepping back" and noticing whether you're actually "controlling" or "deciding" anything.

Report back with what is found.

As I visited this exercise throughout the day there were more occurrences of not really being able to find I'm actually controlling or deciding anything. This actually produced a bit of a sense of resignation that lingered throughout the day and into the evening.

As I typed that last sentence I looked at that sense of resignation and it's mild lingering vanished momentarily, a thought arose about a choice of feelings, and then - for lack of a better term - something grasped at the resignation and pulled it back to the forefront.

God I hope this doesn't sound as strange as it reads.....

Good morning, Art,

Oh, don't worry about how it sounds. Odd things & odd thoughts can come up.

What is the Actual Experience (look back at Colored Socks) of what you're labeling, "resignation? "

Loving,

What is the Actual Experience (look back at Colored Socks) of what you're labeling, "resignation? "

A little hard to get back there but....

Heaviness in body, simply= sensation
Dullness, simply = sensation, thought
Apathy, simply = thought
Sleepiness, simply = sensation

Yes, perfect, Art.

The preferences seemed to pop up out of desire (for lack of a better word) in the moment.

I tend to call my preferences a kind of "leaning." "Desire' is usually too strong. I don't much care, not to mention there is no "me" found to do a thing called, "care."

So. are you finding any separate "self" or "me" or anything?

If not, how is it feeling to see this?