Hello

[Tomahawk297]

Can you choose the very content of the next thought?

No. Time and time again, the content appears without choosing.

Can you choose willingly the next thought that will arise?

No. Haven’t been able to find out how to choose after all this investigation thus far, and reality is simple. The more it is seen the more simple it gets. Or rather it has always been simple, but thought makes it seem otherwise.

Can you choose to fall asleep?

No. Feelings of tiredness arise, thought content says it’s time to go to sleep, the body follows accordingly, and the actual falling asleep just happens when it happens.

Better said, falling asleep just happens.

Can you find the moment / point / spot or realm where you choose to fall asleep?

Absolutely not.

Can you choose the very quality (tightness, openness, vibration, hardness, contraction, etc) of the physical sensation that will arise next?

No. Sensation just arises and is then labeled by thought. Sensation in the chest arises, thought says “anxiety”.

Can you choose the next emotion, mood, attitude that will arise?

No. And this has been investigated thoroughly throughout the past few years of spiritual seeking. Seeking “high vibrations”, “positivity”, etc. There was always thoughts of not being good enough and not being “spiritual” enough when the inability to control emotions and moods was experienced. It’s obvious now that it was just thoughts on thoughts on thoughts and choosing was never even a card on the table.

When I’ve tried to choose moods, emotions, attitudes today there was nothing except for thoughts about it. “I’m in an amazing mood!”, “I feel incredible!”... but it’s just thought. No control.

Sit and look at what is happening. Can you find any choice - point where you willingly chose any emotion that appeared in response to a stimulus?

I can’t find anything. There is stimulus, there is emotion, but there is no choice. There can be thought about choosing... about being the chooser... but that’s it.

[Vivien]

Hi Jared,
You did a nice investigation :)

No. And this has been investigated thoroughly throughout the past few years of spiritual seeking. Seeking “high vibrations”, “positivity”, etc. There was always thoughts of not being good enough and not being “spiritual” enough when the inability to control emotions and moods was experienced. It’s obvious now that it was just thoughts on thoughts on thoughts and choosing was never even a card on the table.

Exactly. Positive thinking is about trying to control the uncontrollable for ME, which is just a figment of imagination.

It’s very important to see clearly without any doubt if there is a chooser or a doer in reality, so let’s dig a bit deeper here.

What is the difference between a happening and a doing?

Look around, all colours are given, they are happening. It’s not that the me-character can choose and make colours that are present into different ones. Or choose not to see green and see pink instead. Colours are happening. Shapes are happening. Sounds are happening.

What about sensations? Are they happening or the me-character doing them?
And how about feelings? Are they something the me-character does or something that is given?

Now look, what is not given?

Is the me-character doing anything in life?
Or is it given? As an idea? Or as an entity?

Vivien

[Tomahawk297]

What is the difference between a happening and a doing?

There is no difference. Happening and doing are both different words for the same thing. I prefer the word happening over doing at this point simply because doing is typically associated with a doer while happening is not.

The words typed here right now are happening. Awareness of the typing is a happening. Thoughts of “I” are a happening. Fingers typing, awareness of it, thoughts of “I”... all just labels for what is just happening. Everything just is, and it’s thought which labels it otherwise. The only seeming difference between “this thing” or “that thing” is that thought labels it as being different.

What about sensations? Are they happening or the me-character doing them?

They are happening. The me character is but a thought and therefore is incapable of doing anything. Sensations appear, sensations disappear, thought labels the sensations, thought about an “I” responsible for the sensation appears.

And how about feelings? Are they something the me-character does or something that is given?

Feelings happen. They come and go as a cloud in the sky passes by. Just as the cloud has no traffic to get stuck in and stay in one spot for an extended time, feeling has no sticking point. The me-character is but a thought. A collection of thoughts which make up a story.

Now look, what is not given?

Nothing. There is no fighting and struggling other than thought about fighting and struggling. Everything comes and goes as it would just the same as it would without the thoughts about it being “mine”, “hard”, “struggle”, etc.

“I’ve gotta fight for what I want in life!” HA!

Is the me-character doing anything in life?

No. It only exists in the form of thought.

Or is it given? As an idea? Or as an entity?

It’s just an idea which appears. An idea with a string of thoughts attached to it which make up a story which can appear to be a real character, a real me, a separate person.

[Vivien]

Hi Jared,

You did a really nice investigation :)

Since seeing this is essential, here are more things to look at.

Please sit for some time and just notice how everything is just happening effortlessly.

Look around.
What is being done for colors and shapes to be? Is there anything be done for colors and shapes to be, or they are just there effortlessly?

Listen to the sounds.
What is being done exactly for the sounds to be?
And when the attention is on a sound, what is being done to know the sound? Is there any doing? Or it’s just known effortlessly?

Now shift the focus on FEELING the body.
What is being done exactly for the body to be?
Is there any effort in being?
Or the body just IS, effortlessly?

Focus on the sensations of the hands.
What is being done for the sensations to be?
Aren’t the sensations happens effortlessly?

Look at the hands.
What is being done exactly for the image of the hand to be, to exist?
Is there a you making the image of the hands happen?
Is there any effort in seeing?

Now notice thoughts.
What is being done for thoughts to be?
Is there any effort for thoughts to appear? Or they just appear effortlessly?

Vivien

[Tomahawk297]

What is being done for colors and shapes to be?

They just appear. They just are.

Is there anything be done for colors and shapes to be, or they are just there effortlessly?

When my eyes went to the tile floor, a thought appeared which said a man put the tile floor there. So I dug deeper, how did the man decide which type of flooring to put down? Thought. How does thought happen? It just does. How did he select the content of that thought? He didn’t, it just appeared. Did he decide anything? No, there’s not even a him to decide.

Is the man who put the flooring down separate from life? No, he did nothing. There has never been a him to do anything. Tile floor just happened.

What is being done exactly for the sounds to be?

Nothing is being done. It is a happening.

And when the attention is on a sound, what is being done to know the sound?

Nothing is being done. Attention happens, sound happens. Attention on typing this was not decided, it just happened. It’s all happening and these different words (sound, attention, colors, me, I, etc.) are just thought labels to help operate in society. Some point to something which is real and some point to that which is illusion.

Is there any doing? Or it’s just known effortlessly?

It is just known effortlessly. Doing happens. Effort happens not in reality but in thought content.

What is being done exactly for the body to be?

The body is.

Is there any effort in being?

No. Being happens, effort does not.

Or the body just IS, effortlessly?

It just is. Everything just is, effortlessly.

What is being done for the sensations to be?

Nothing. Attention goes to the hands, sensations are felt.

Aren’t the sensations happens effortlessly?

Yes. As with everything, it happens effortlessly.

What is being done exactly for the image of the hand to be, to exist?

No doing, only happening. Seeing.

Is there a you making the image of the hands happen?

No me.

Is there any effort in seeing?

No. Seeing happens; effortlessly.

What is being done for thoughts to be?

Thoughts just are. They flow through effortlessly.

Is there any effort for thoughts to appear?

None at all. I see no effort involved.

Or they just appear effortlessly?

They appear effortlessly.


Everything which exists contains no efforting. The flower does not effort to bloom. The bird does not effort to fly. The giraffe does not effort to get away from the lion. The human does not effort to be.

There is only thought of effort in being. There is only thought of doing. There is only thought of controlling, of thinking.

These exist only in a thought story. There are things which may exist outside of direct experience, but for something outside of direct experience to be believed in is but a thought until it appears in direct experience.

There is no personal me, there is no separate person. It’s all a big happening and that which thought labels as good or bad are not apart from what is happening. There’s no “connected to source” and “disconnected to source” and lots of other beliefs that used to be held.

Sitting out in nature each morning has been very helpful. Thought tends to label things much less there, it’s very easy to see the happening of everything in nature.

When not in nature thought labels are very active, and it seems like there is a forgetting in the noise. And then I go back to nature, it all comes back so easily.

It seems the process which has begun will never stop until it is completed, but there is still uncertainty there.

[Vivien]

Hi Jared,

You did a nice investigation :)

It seems the process which has begun will never stop until it is completed, but there is still uncertainty there.

What is this uncertainty about?

What is missing?

What is not complete in-here-now?

Is there a self-directed, autonomous entity that is separate or other than what is here now?

Is there something other than this present moment experience?

Vivien

[Tomahawk297]

What is this uncertainty about?

Uncertainty about whether I’ve really “gotten it” or not. Whether what has been seen will regress. I’m going to ramble on a bit so that you can gauge where I am more thoroughly.

The self is but a thought story. It is a story which has been reinforced since birth to be a real, separate entity. Most people believe they are a separate entity and so they reinforce this to their children the same way children reinforce to each other that Santa is real because they believe it to be true. There is conditioning of this everywhere. The story of a separate self is also built into language and the way it is taught in schools.

When looking at experience here and now there is no personal entity here to be found. There are smells, seeing, feeling, tasting, sensations, etc.. but no manager or owner of any of these happenings. There are thoughts of a manager and owner, but no actual entity. No actual control.

When self is seen through, reality is allowed to flow through smoothly and without resistance. Not that there is anyone to “allow” the flow or that reality wasn’t already flowing smoothly even when it didn’t seem that way, weird paradox. But once it is seen through there is a letting go of the imaginary steering wheel.

No longer playing captain of the imaginary ship like a child. That’s what it feels like, like as a child I played captain of the ship and got stuck in a loop as the captain of the imaginary ship until now. No one to be the captain. No ship to be responsible for. Neither ever existed other than in thought content. The captain’s attire got old but looking back it is quite comical for how long it was worn, unquestioned.

A thing is happening. That really sums it all up. A thing is happening and there is a unique perspective which the happening is seen here, which is not apart from the happening itself but only further labeling of the happening.

What is missing?

Nothing is missing.

What is not complete in-here-now?

Nothing is not complete here and now.

Is there a self-directed, autonomous entity that is separate or other than what is here now?

No. There is not anything separate from the here and now, nothing.

Is there something other than this present moment experience?

No. This is all that is. There is only past and future in thought content.

[Vivien]

Hi Jared,

A thing is happening. That really sums it all up. A thing is happening and there is a unique perspective which the happening is seen here, which is not apart from the happening itself but only further labeling of the happening.

Yes, excellent observation.

No longer playing captain of the imaginary ship like a child. That’s what it feels like, like as a child I played captain of the ship and got stuck in a loop as the captain of the imaginary ship until now. No one to be the captain. No ship to be responsible for. Neither ever existed other than in thought content. The captain’s attire got old but looking back it is quite comical for how long it was worn, unquestioned.

So what is it that is playing or played the captain?
Is there something that played that role?
Or ‘playing to be the captain’ is also just happening on its own, as part of story of a me?

No. This is all that is. There is only past and future in thought content.

Let’s investigate the notion of time.

Is it possible to be anywhere else than here now?
When there is a thought about the past, WHEN does that thought is happening?
And WHEN does a fantasy about the future is happening?

Is it possible to fall out of this present moment?

When there is a thought or image ABOUT the past, then is that the ACTUAL past?
Or that is just a thought or imagination ABOUT the past? And only thoughts commenting on it saying ‘It’s a memory, it’s in the past’?

Is there other time and space than here now?
Do you need to try to be here now? Or to be present?
Can you be not present? Is that possible?

Vivien

[Tomahawk297]

So what is it that is playing or played the captain?

Nothing. Just thought about being the one playing. Playing happening.

Is there something that played that role?

Not at all.

Or ‘playing to be the captain’ is also just happening on its own, as part of story of a me?

Yes exactly. There was no seeing before that the captain wasn’t real or that there was no one to play captain. But the seeing, the captaining, is all just happening.

Is it possible to be anywhere else than here now?

No. Here and now is all that is. Thought tends to project into future tense or reflect in past tense but they don’t exist at all only thought content suggests that they are real.

When there is a thought about the past, WHEN does that thought is happening?

It always happens in the here and now.

And WHEN does a fantasy about the future is happening?

Always, here and now.

Is it possible to fall out of this present moment?

Not at all. Everything which is happening in this moment, is this moment. There is nothing to fall out of the present moment. And the present moment is only another label for the something that is happening:

When there is a thought or image ABOUT the past, then is that the ACTUAL past?

It is only a thought story about the past. The past is not real.

Or that is just a thought or imagination ABOUT the past?

Precisely.

And only thoughts commenting on it saying ‘It’s a memory, it’s in the past’?

Yes exactly.

Is there other time and space than here now?

No. There is no evidence to suggest so, and how could there be?

Do you need to try to be here now?

Not at all. No me to be here or not be here, no me to try. No matter what is happening or what thought content may say, it is all the here and now.

or to be present?

All which is happening is present.

Can you be not present? Is that possible?

No. There is no me to be present or not present.

And what is, is. What is, is present.


What is, is being seen more clearly each day. Today I’ve been able to give pointers to someone else who is seeking. It came naturally, and I was quite surprised that I was able to point some for them.

The is-ness of everything is noticed much more. Thoughts of control are happening much less frequently.

There is something which has been noticed during conversing with people, a noticing of the self story playing out in them. And then it’s like playing a role. Like playing the role of daddy who also believes in Santa with my daughter. None of these interactions have been with a person who’s expressed interest in any of this stuff, so to exclaim that Santa isn’t real doesn’t quite fit in. Is this normal? And yes I know there is not actually anyone playing a role, but you know what I mean :)

During the process I felt weird about using words in certain ways in case they reinforced the self story but now I don’t feel that. There seems to be a knowing of the emptiness behind the words which used to seem so real.

Also, this is not a declaration of having seen definitively. Completely open to anything you have which may shine a light on any blind spots that may still exist. Although it seems I am seeing it, I’m not going to stop looking until it’s as obvious as Santa Clause or the tooth fairy. It is not quite there yet. But there’s also not any doubt to be found either when looking for it.

[Vivien]

Hi Jared,

Not at all. Everything which is happening in this moment, is this moment. There is nothing to fall out of the present moment. And the present moment is only another label for the something that is happening:

Nice observations :)

None of these interactions have been with a person who’s expressed interest in any of this stuff, so to exclaim that Santa isn’t real doesn’t quite fit in. Is this normal? And yes I know there is not actually anyone playing a role, but you know what I mean :)

I’m not sure if I understand what you are asking here.
Are you asking how to relate to others, who don’t see that the self is fictional?

During the process I felt weird about using words in certain ways in case they reinforced the self story but now I don’t feel that. There seems to be a knowing of the emptiness behind the words which used to seem so real.

Yes. The words of I/me/my/mine don’t have to go away. It’s enough to see them for what they are, just empty words without pointing to anything real.

Also, this is not a declaration of having seen definitively. Completely open to anything you have which may shine a light on any blind spots that may still exist. Although it seems I am seeing it, I’m not going to stop looking until it’s as obvious as Santa Clause or the tooth fairy. It is not quite there yet. But there’s also not any doubt to be found either when looking for it.

So if you can clearly see it, then what is the doubt about?
What is missing in order to say that it’s clearly seen that there is no self-directed separate self living inside the body?
What needs to happen for this to be a certainty?

Vivien

[Tomahawk297]

I’m not sure if I understand what you are asking here. Are you asking how to relate to others, who don’t see that the self is fictional?

It was more of an observation that was phrased oddly. Interaction with others is different now. Everything is so interesting when seeing, it’s so new.. but still the same. Many laughs have been had.

So if you can clearly see it, then what is the doubt about?

It’s coming up as thought content that says something like “what if you don’t see clearly tomorrow?” “Are you sure it’s done?” But it’s just thought, there is no genuine doubt or uncertainty in regards to whether it’s seen or not.

What is missing in order to say that it’s clearly seen that there is no self-directed separate self living inside the body?

There is nothing. It can be confidently and unquestionably said that there is no self directed separate self. The only uncertainty seems to be about the possibility of un-seeing haha.

What needs to happen for this to be a certainty?

Nothing. It is seen.

[Vivien]

Hi Jared,

It can be confidently and unquestionably said that there is no self directed separate self. The only uncertainty seems to be about the possibility of un-seeing haha.

I’m glad to hear that :) if thoughts of un-seeing comes, you can check if those thoughts are actually telling the truth. And if there is any moment when it seems that it’s not seen, then you just have to look again. What is seen cannot be unseen. There could be some moments when the self feels very real, especially when an emotion is triggered. But upon looking, it can be seen again and again without a fail, that there is no inherent self anywhere. The important thing is to keep looking. Make it into a habit. Since seeing through the self is just the first step, just the beginning. Falling away of conditionings can last at the end of the organism.

Is there anything that is not super clear and you would like to look at?

Vivien

[Tomahawk297]

And if there is any moment when it seems that it’s not seen, then you just have to look again. What is seen cannot be unseen.

Yes this has become glaringly obvious recently. All it takes is a quick looking and ahhh yes :)

It’s become habitual to look. Always looking in different scenarios and situations. It’s really become quite a fun practice.

Is there anything that is not super clear and you would like to look at?

No, everything is here. Thank you so much for your help, Vivien. You have been incredible! The directness and no BS approach is exactly what was needed.

[Vivien]

Hi Jared,

No, everything is here. Thank you so much for your help, Vivien. You have been incredible! The directness and no BS approach is exactly what was needed.

You are most welcome :)

What we usually do at this state of the process is to ask some final questions that I will show to other guides to see if there is anything that we might have missed and that my guiding was clear. Other guides might or might not have further questions for you.

Are you ready for these final questions?

Vivien

[Tomahawk297]

Absolutely!