Help me become free

[adilerten]

Hi Adil,

I am really amazed by this process. After years of meditating I still couldn't see things so clearly as I'm starting to through these exercises! Thank you!

What is memory exactly? What is the memory ‘made of’? WHEN does the memory appear?

The memory is thought. Like all other thoughts, they appear from nowhere. There is another thought that this happened in the past, and more thoughts about the meaning of what happened and what it said about me and my worth, and what it said about others and their faults and mistakes. They are all thought in the present moment, the whole thing is thought. Arising from nowhere.

What is the exact difference between a ‘general’ thought and a ‘memory’ thought?
How is it known EXACTLY that a ‘memory’ thought refers to something that has happened?

A "memory" thought seems to come with another thought that "this is real" and "this happened to me". But they are all thoughts! I can't look to the actual time when this happened, I can only notice the thought ("image") with another thought ("this happened in the past") and another thought "this was good / bad and it meant something...")

Then, look at a thought about the future. What is the future thought ‘made of’?

Thoughts and sensations. That's it. All happening in the present moment.

WHEN does the future thought appear? ,What is the exact difference between a ‘general’ thought and a ‘future’ thought? How is it known EXACTLY that a ‘future’ thought refers to something that will happen?

"Future" thoughts sometimes arise with contraction / fear when they are negative. Sometimes a very clear future thought will arise out of nowhere and tends to have some clarity / intuition involved. All are thoughts, and nothing in the thought predicts what will actually happen. It is impossible.

Then let’s compare a thought about past and a thought about the future.
What is the EXACT difference between the thoughts about past and future?
If there is difference and how is that difference is known exactly?

Thoughts about past and future are exactly the same. They arise out of nowhere, tend to link with a number of other sensations or thoughts including a thought that says this was true in the past or this will happen in the future. They are just thoughts, and thoughts are appearances that come from nowhere and go to nowhere. I can look at the thought as thought and allow it to move through, whether it is a memory or a thought about the future, or a thought about the present. Just thoughts. Not true.

Wonderful answers.
Thank you.

I am glad that you are amazed. Me too :)
Lovely to read what you write Paula.
You must start guiding in LU after our process..You can be a great guide with your clear expression talent.

Lets look few more steps and check where are you now :)

[adilerten]

Let's look at the idea of time

There is a general assumption that there is linear time that started (if started at all) somewhere very far in the past and advances to the distant future. The present moment (now) is considered to be a very small fragment of time, or an event that is moving forward on a linear line, coming from the past and advancing to the future.

But is there an experience of the ’now’ moving along the line of time? can you find a point where it began? How long does the ‘now’ last? Where does the ‘now’ start, and where does it end?
Any experience of one ‘moment’ giving way to the next?
Is there any actual or direct experience of one event following another?
How fast is the ‘present moment’ actually moving? Just look at 'this moment',
When does the ‘now’ exactly become the 'past'? What is the ‘past’ in actual experience?
So is there actual experience of ‘time’ or thoughts about ‘time’?

Have you ever actually experienced the past ?

I am not asking have you had a thought in the present about an apparent past..

Have you ever actually experienced that past to which your thought refers ?

[BeHereNow]

Hi Adil,

It would be my pleasure to guide in LU! I am getting so much out of the process, I would love to help others overcome the illusion.

I can’t copy and paste on my phone (on weekends) but will try my best to answer all your questions.

Experience of NOW: Now seems to be happening all the time. Now. Now. Now. It has always been now, it will always be now. That is all there is. So weird. When I look at now I see that the past is within now (because there are only thoughts about the past in this moment) and same with the future. It is all now.

One moment giving away to the next: Yes this is happening constantly. There is one moment, flows into the next moment and the next but so fast! Each moment so precious and then gone, but a new moment is there. It is a flow, not an actual event that can be captured.

Speed of the present moment: In one way, when I look at this moment it lasts forever because it has everything that is in my mind in it, so the whole past or the whole future. In another way it passes almost instantaneously because there is another moment that is different. I think it has to do with the theory that something can be a particle and a wave at the same time. If I look at it as a static thing it is gone. If I look at it as fluid it is all there is. At the same time. CRAZY!!!!!!!

Now becomes the past when I have thoughts about the past, all happening now. No past.

There is no actual time, only thoughts about time. I have not experienced the past, only thoughts about it.

This is exciting to me because I can now see what people mean by manifesting your future. It doesn’t mean that I make something actually happen, just that the future only exists in my mind so anything I imagine is what is actually happening. It is a thought only, so important only in that it can connect me to my intentions and values in the present moment. But will inevitably unfold beyond my control, as it will, in the present moment. Nothing more for me to do than nurture thoughts and feelings of kindness and love and service for all beings.

Much meta,
Paula

[adilerten]

Thank you Paula for your answers..

One moment giving away to the next: Yes this is happening constantly. There is one moment, flows into the next moment and the next but so fast!

Here there is another thougt saying this will be next moment, this was last moment. This is next - This is previous.

Well done.
I see that you actually see this.

So simple and easy question _?

Does time actually exist ?

[adilerten]

and a weekend fun check point question :)

By asking to be guided you knocked my door "knock knock", and i ask now,
Who is there ?
:)

[BeHereNow]

Hi Adil,

I hope you are having a great day!

That is a good point that the idea of moments flowing into one another is another thought. There is actually only this moment.

Time does not exist.

By asking to be guided you knocked my door "knock knock", and i ask now,
Who is there ?
:)

Nobody is here.

When I look I see this, but I have to say while it brings some relief it is not complete. I still feel the fear in the body and I still see the thoughts.

I feel the pull of desire - to be loved, to have friends, to have a meaningful life. Even if when I look these are just thoughts and when I look at myself I am not there, the pain is still here.

I guess this is the pain of suffering, but knowing that it is not real is the beginning of the end... it is a process but well worth it :-)

Much metta,
Paula

[adilerten]

When I look I see this, but I have to say while it brings some relief it is not complete. I still feel the fear in the body and I still see the thoughts.

I feel the pull of desire - to be loved, to have friends, to have a meaningful life. Even if when I look these are just thoughts and when I look at myself I am not there, the pain is still here.

I guess this is the pain of suffering, but knowing that it is not real is the beginning of the end... it is a process but well worth it :-)

Hello Paula
Nice to hear from you

Good to heat that there is no one there behind the door :)

There is knocking but no one knocking the door.

I see that you have seen that there is no separate self. But we will be looking more with you to settle more..
I have to remind you this process has nothing to do with "getting rid of unwanted emotions, pain, suffering etc."

There has never been a separate self, so life goes on as life always has. It is only thought that suggests life needs to improve and that there are good and bad things in life. There is no one/no thing controlling how life unfolds as life unfolds spontaneously from moment to moment.

Realising 'no self' happens, but there will also be periods of checking, and doubting, and rechecking, and that is all normal. This exploration is just a beginning and not an ending as you know and said.
There will still be beliefs and patterns that are rooted in the idea of being a separate self that will need clearing but these will eventually happen..

Let's look more..

[adilerten]

Let's look at this idea of me/others..

Please bring up a thought about a character labelled "friend". Then bring up a thought about a character labelled "stranger".

Compare these thoughts.

Is there a difference in these thoughts? Is there a true difference or is it just different content?

Now, bring up a thought about a character labelled "friend". After that, look at a thought about the character labelled "me”.

Is there a difference? Is there anything special about thoughts with the content "me-character"?

Also what is the actual experience of others ?

[BeHereNow]

Hi Adil,

Your post was so helpful as I see that even wanting to get rid of unwanted emotions and thoughts is another thought! So crazy! Lately I've been saying to myself "This Too" to include any "unwanted" thought or emotion or experience into the realm of my looking. It is helping.

Please bring up a thought about a character labelled "friend". Then bring up a thought about a character labelled "stranger".

Yes. Thoughts about my friend Shana. Thought about a stranger on the street.

Is there a difference in these thoughts? Is there a true difference or is it just different content?

Different content. The thoughts are the same. There is a person, and some ideas about whether I know them and / or their characteristics.

Now, bring up a thought about a character labelled "friend". After that, look at a thought about the character labelled "me”.

Yes. Shana and me.

Is there a difference? Is there anything special about thoughts with the content "me-character"?

There is no difference. Both are thoughts. There seem to be more thoughts about "me", but really they are the same. Just thoughts.

Also what is the actual experience of others ?

The experience I have of others is my thoughts about others. They may be doing something or not doing something, but how I perceive them really makes all the difference. I was realizing this about my son, how each time I interact with him I am so plagued by the experiences of the past and my fears for his future, that I don't even really see him. So I am starting to notice the many thoughts I have about him, and realize that they are not really him. He is changing like everything else, and each time I am with him he is new and fresh. I will work on this!

Same with my own fears and thoughts about wanting things to be different. Whether people like me or not, all thoughts. I have a thought that nobody likes me. That it's hard for me to make friends. These are all thoughts, not true. Actual experience is different, each interaction is different, fresh, new.

I will notice the many thoughts I have about others, about pressure on myself to be with others, to be a particular way... and just notice that they are thoughts, and there is no difference between me and other. I can just LOOK and this is enough, this is love really, for myself and for others.

Much metta,
Paula

[adilerten]

Hi Adil,

Your post was so helpful as I see that even wanting to get rid of unwanted emotions and thoughts is another thought! So crazy! Lately I've been saying to myself "This Too" to include any "unwanted" thought or emotion or experience into the realm of my looking. It is helping.

Please bring up a thought about a character labelled "friend". Then bring up a thought about a character labelled "stranger".

Yes. Thoughts about my friend Shana. Thought about a stranger on the street.

Is there a difference in these thoughts? Is there a true difference or is it just different content?

Different content. The thoughts are the same. There is a person, and some ideas about whether I know them and / or their characteristics.

Now, bring up a thought about a character labelled "friend". After that, look at a thought about the character labelled "me”.

Yes. Shana and me.

Is there a difference? Is there anything special about thoughts with the content "me-character"?

There is no difference. Both are thoughts. There seem to be more thoughts about "me", but really they are the same. Just thoughts.

Also what is the actual experience of others ?

The experience I have of others is my thoughts about others. They may be doing something or not doing something, but how I perceive them really makes all the difference. I was realizing this about my son, how each time I interact with him I am so plagued by the experiences of the past and my fears for his future, that I don't even really see him. So I am starting to notice the many thoughts I have about him, and realize that they are not really him. He is changing like everything else, and each time I am with him he is new and fresh. I will work on this!

Same with my own fears and thoughts about wanting things to be different. Whether people like me or not, all thoughts. I have a thought that nobody likes me. That it's hard for me to make friends. These are all thoughts, not true. Actual experience is different, each interaction is different, fresh, new.

I will notice the many thoughts I have about others, about pressure on myself to be with others, to be a particular way... and just notice that they are thoughts, and there is no difference between me and other. I can just LOOK and this is enough, this is love really, for myself and for others.

Much metta,
Paula

Wonderful looking as usual :)
Thank you Paula.
It is really lovely to work with you.
I will be insisting on you being a guide after we finish our process :)

Let's make a check point now..

[adilerten]

Ok before we make check point let's make mirror exercise..

Here s an even deeper investgaton of the body. Please follow each step, don't leave out any. Take your time. Don't move to the next step until the previous one is clearly seen. Repeat the exercise several times.

Stand in front of a bigger mirror.

(1) First, close the eyes and feel the sensatons labelled ‘body’.

(2) Then open the eyes and look into the mirror while still paying attention to the sensations.

Is there any connection between the felt sensations and the image in the mirror?
Or just thoughts (and/or mental mages) suggest that there is?

(3) While still paying attention to the sensations move one hand and observe the movement from the mirror.

Is there any connection between the felt sensations (labelled ‘hand’) and image of movement in the mirror?

(4) Now do the same movement with the hand, but this time look at the hand directly, not from the mirror.

Is there any connection between the felt sensations (labelled ‘hand’) and the mage ‘of movement’? Or only thoughts suggest it?

(5) Now, pay attention only to the image in the mirror.

Does the image by itself suggest in any way that is ‘you’ or ‘your body’? Does the image itself suggest in any way that it s a ‘body’ at all? Or are there only colours and shapes?

(6) Where the mirror ends, some parts of the body (probably legs) cannot be seen.

Just by the image in the mirror, is there any ‘knowledge’ that there must be legs, or only thoughts and mental mages suggest so?

(7) Now turn away from the mirror and look forward (don’t look directly to any body parts).


Is there a ‘body’ anywhere when all thoughts and mages are ignored, or are there only sensations?

(8) Start to walk slowly.

Is there a ‘body walking’, or are there only sensations?
Is there actual experience of ‘walking’ at all? Or just THOUGHTS ABOUT ‘walking’?
Can such a thing as ‘body’ be found OR just THOUGHTS ABOUT a ‘body’?
Can such a thing as ‘walking’ be found?

(9) Are the sensations localized in space, like ‘gong through the room’; OR s there only an mage that is labelled ‘room’ and appearing sensations without any location?

[BeHereNow]

Hi Adil,

Here is my exercise for today. I am plagued by fear and just watching it... hopefully this will help!

Stand in front of a bigger mirror.

(1) First, close the eyes and feel the sensatons labelled ‘body’.

I feel many sensations including contraction in the belly that I call "fear". It is all changing and moving.

(2) Then open the eyes and look into the mirror while still paying attention to the sensations. Is there any connection between the felt sensations and the image in the mirror?

It is almost funny how the image says nothing about the sensations I feel inside. I look calm on the outside, so much sensation on the inside! There is no connection, like it's a different person.

Or just thoughts (and/or mental mages) suggest that there is?

Any connection between "my" image and "my" body is only a thought.

(3) While still paying attention to the sensations move one hand and observe the movement from the mirror.

So funny. Like somebody else.

Is there any connection between the felt sensations (labelled ‘hand’) and image of movement in the mirror?

There is no connection between the sensations and the movement in the mirror.

(4) Now do the same movement with the hand, but this time look at the hand directly, not from the mirror. Is there any connection between the felt sensations (labelled ‘hand’) and the mage ‘of movement’? Or only thoughts suggest it?

there is the felt sensation from the inside, and then the movement which I see on the outside as if almost happening on its own. It's like the movement is happening from some place else, not from the sensations in the hand itself. There is no connection between the felt sensations labelled hand and the movement. Only thoughts suggest it.

(

5) Now, pay attention only to the image in the mirror.

Does the image by itself suggest in any way that is ‘you’ or ‘your body’? Does the image itself suggest in any way that it s a ‘body’ at all? Or are there only colours and shapes?

Colours and shapes make up what I see as a "body" because of what I have learned / conditioning, and also "my body" because it is the one I see when I look in the mirror. They are just labels, can be broken down to colours and shapes. But they do somehow come together in something I know to be a "body" or "my body" in thoughts.

(6) Where the mirror ends, some parts of the body (probably legs) cannot be seen.

Just by the image in the mirror, is there any ‘knowledge’ that there must be legs, or only thoughts and mental mages suggest so?

Thoughts / mental images suggest so.

(7) Now turn away from the mirror and look forward (don’t look directly to any body parts).Is there a ‘body’ anywhere when all thoughts and mages are ignored, or are there only sensations?

Only sensations.

(8) Start to walk slowly.

Is there a ‘body walking’, or are there only sensations?
Is there actual experience of ‘walking’ at all? Or just THOUGHTS ABOUT ‘walking’?
Can such a thing as ‘body’ be found OR just THOUGHTS ABOUT a ‘body’?
Can such a thing as ‘walking’ be found?

There is some flow of movement with sensations as I walk, a forward momentum and the feeling of feet on the earth, sensations only. No actual "walking" or "body", just thoughts about it.

(9) Are the sensations localized in space, like ‘gong through the room’; OR s there only an mage that is labelled ‘room’ and appearing sensations without any location?

Image labelled "room" and appearing sensations without any location.

So all is sensation. "Fear" is sensation. I just observe sensation and let go of resisting it. Trust the process. One movement at a time, one moment at a time...

Uncomfortable sensation, but again because of thoughts. Can I just see it as "sensation" without labels? I will try...

Lots of love,
Paula

[adilerten]

Very good looking again Paula thank you.
Let's look more

there is the felt sensation from the inside, and then the movement which I see on the outside as if almost happening on its own

Is there really an inside or an outside?

Uncomfortable sensation, but again because of thoughts.

Is it because of thoughts ?
Focus on that sensation. Only the sensation. Stay with it for a while.
Just look! Be there!
Does that sensation have any information that it is fear ?
Can you see that another thought links the thought to a sensation?

Sending much love

[BeHereNow]

Hi Adil,

So helpful to look even deeper!

Is there really an inside or an outside?

There is no inside or outside. More thoughts. Just different sensations, more dense or less dense.

Uncomfortable sensation, but again because of thoughts.
Is it because of thoughts ?
Focus on that sensation. Only the sensation. Stay with it for a while.
Just look! Be there!
Does that sensation have any information that it is fear ?
Can you see that another thought links the thought to a sensation?

I can't know if the sensation is there because of thoughts (that is more thought). Today I was able to just notice the sensation, without the label "fear". By separating out the thoughts from the sensation that I sometimes call fear, the "fear" wasn't a problem anymore, just sensation.

This is so liberating!!!! The only problem with a sensation is when I label it a problem with my thoughts. Otherwise it is just sensation. This can be true of any "emotion" - fear or anger or frustration or even loneliness. I noticed loneliness is actually a very sweet sensation, like it connects you to all beings. The sadness of being human, of wanting connection so badly but forgetting that it is actually always available to you, because we are not separate.

Thank you, Adil!

Love,
Paula

[adilerten]

Hi Adil,

So helpful to look even deeper!

Is there really an inside or an outside?

There is no inside or outside. More thoughts. Just different sensations, more dense or less dense.

Uncomfortable sensation, but again because of thoughts.
Is it because of thoughts ?
Focus on that sensation. Only the sensation. Stay with it for a while.
Just look! Be there!
Does that sensation have any information that it is fear ?
Can you see that another thought links the thought to a sensation?

I can't know if the sensation is there because of thoughts (that is more thought). Today I was able to just notice the sensation, without the label "fear". By separating out the thoughts from the sensation that I sometimes call fear, the "fear" wasn't a problem anymore, just sensation.

This is so liberating!!!! The only problem with a sensation is when I label it a problem with my thoughts. Otherwise it is just sensation. This can be true of any "emotion" - fear or anger or frustration or even loneliness. I noticed loneliness is actually a very sweet sensation, like it connects you to all beings. The sadness of being human, of wanting connection so badly but forgetting that it is actually always available to you, because we are not separate.

Thank you, Adil!

Love,
Paula

Lovely looking. Wonderful expressions.
Thank you Paula.

Time for a check point..