Hi Luisa,
Can you give an example from life where it is obvious no one was there making a decision?
Sure. Last week while in a meeting at work, a question came up which I thought I might have the answer to, but wasn't sure. As no one else in the room was speaking up, a decision emerged to be "made" - speak up and try to answer the question, possibly embarrassing myself if giving a foolish answer, or remain quiet and play it "safe." Which way was going to win out was not clear - there was a feeling of tension toward raising my hand, then a quieting of that tension. A feeling of tension to speak, then a feeling of anxiety about being embarrassed. These two feelings simply alternated back and forth in AE, one feeling, then the other, until finally the feeling of tension to lift my hand grew much stronger and then the next thing I knew my hand was rising, and then I was speaking. While I experienced all of these individual feelings occur in AE, and I experienced the sound and feeling of my own voice, at no point was there anything in AE that felt like "making a decision." I was essentially helpless in that sense. The feeling was simply being made- not
by anyone, just being made. The feelings, the tensions, and the thoughts surrounding them, were all that there was, and they came out of nowhere just like everything else in AE, without any input or approval from a "me."
Could you please give an answer to the question "what are you responsible for"?
The "you" in this question is the important part. "I" am responsible for nothing, because "I" does not exist. My physical body is technically responsible for certain things that occur in the universe - my body presses an elevator button, and the elevator begins to move - but there is no actual "I" in consciousness that chose to do that. Really experience just happens, it is known, but no one is ultimately responsible for actions, thoughts, or decisions. They just happen, and are known as they happen.
Thank you,
Dan