Entering into oneness

[Wildlichen]

Hi Canfora,

Does this mean you can already see that a separate self is illusory? If you do, how do you see this? Here and now, how do you know a separate self is only an illusion?

The way I currently see it is this: that everything I had previously thought of as "myself" is just a constantly changing ebb and flow of various different kinds of thoughts and sensations, with no meaningful continuity, and without any fixed entity to attach to. I guess I'm confused as to whether there's a deeper layer of seeing that I haven't got to yet.

As to the question of separateness, for months now the illusion of the material world as solid has been stripped away, including the physical body, and it feels like there is no boundary between "me" and the rest of the physical world, just a constantly changing flow of energy and matter. However, there is still a commentary voice that runs most of the time, and the content of those thoughts assumes that I am a separate self: preferences, opinions etc. I have had experiences where that voice is finally silent and there is just everything, quietly existing, but that has not happened often.

What do you think the nature of self is?

It seems like a fragment that arises temporarily out of all that is and then falls back into it. Like a drop of water that can sometimes seem separate from the river. Self seems like standing at a certain vantage point, the perspective gained from looking out through these eyes, hearing through these ears. There have been times when I have become everything, felt the drop of water that thinks it is "me" fall back into the river , and the river of all that is is experiencing the world through these eyes and ears.

What do you mean when you talk about "self actualization"?

This is something that is almost impossible to put into words. The way that can be named is not the way etc, and every time I try my thoughts get chaotic. At root it seems like nothing more than a stripping away - scouring off the layers of thoughts, beliefs, opinions, memories that have been built up over a time time. Stripping away everything that is built up to protect us from the void, from absolute reality, which is far more vast than words or thoughts can capture.

Moss

[Wildlichen]

I just realised that the image you use as your avatar is a depiction of the process of self actualisation - stripping away all the layers that we've to been taught to think of as ourselves, to find the empty space inside that is indivisible from the empty space that surrounds it.

[Canfora]

Hi Moss,

Thank you for your reply. Reading your answers I get the feeling that you are trying to reach a certain kind of experience, a specific state, a narrow way of being in the world. Your goal - from my perspective (and I may be wrong!) - seems to be to escape "humanness". It's like if you're trying to reach some state of "inner" perfection to escape all the rest. Is this what you're trying to do?

Hug,
C

[Wildlichen]

Hi,

No, that's not how it feels at all. Not trying to escape anything, least of all humanness. More like I've had some glimpses of what it feels like to be truly free of all the restrictions that stop me from being what I most deeply am, and I want to live in that liberated ground state on oneness with all things. Definitely not a narrow state.

Moss

[Canfora]

Hi Moss,

Thank you for your patience with my questions. I hope I'm not boring you or making you feel bad by asking them. I'm not judging you or implying you're doing something wrong. On the contrary. I've been asking these questions because they pop up here like the "right" questions to ask you in reply to what you are sharing. I can't be sure if they are or not but I trust this method enough to go with the flow. And I'm very curious. I really want to know your answers.

I've had some glimpses of what it feels like to be truly free of all the restrictions that stop me from being what I most deeply am, and I want to live in that liberated ground state on oneness with all things.

So, you are aware that you are. And you are saying that there are some restrictions preventing you from being what you deeply are.

Would you say that what you deeply are is present here right now? It must be. Focus in being what you are. Does it seem that something is missing? Does what you are need to be more deeply what it is?

What makes you think that you need to be more what you are than you already are right now? Aren't these kind of thoughts preventing you of realizing that you are already deeply what you are? What else could you be?

Hug,
C

[Wildlichen]

Hi Canfora,

I have been feeling defensive in response to your questions . The experiences I've had over the past few months have been very difficult to put into words, even to understand them myself, and I don't find it easy to open up to stranger on an Internet forum. I felt misunderstood and criticised by your analysis, although I got my partner to read over the conversation and he agrees with what you said.

I'm definitely not finding it easy to open up to this process, so I'm not sure how to answer your questions right now. Sorry, I don't want to waste your time, but I don't know what to say.

Moss

[Canfora]

Hi Moss,

I have been feeling defensive in response to your questions . The experiences I've had over the past few months have been very difficult to put into words, even to understand them myself, and I don't find it easy to open up to stranger on an Internet forum. I felt misunderstood and criticised by your analysis, although I got my partner to read over the conversation and he agrees with what you said.

Thank you for your honesty. I'm sorry for making you feel defensive, misunderstood and criticised, that was not my intention. You don't need to talk about your past experiences to do this exploration, unless you want to. This is an invitation to see what is here now, as it is, to check if a separate self - the me we think we are - is real. This is not about agreeing or disagreeing. It's about questioning assumptions. It is very unlikely that I know more than you do and my role here isn't to teach or to shape your way of thinking. Guides point to your experience until you see for yourself that a separate self is an illusion. Usually this seeing is followed by a letting go of assumptions that are linked to the belief in a separate self.

I'm definitely not finding it easy to open up to this process, so I'm not sure how to answer your questions right now. Sorry, I don't want to waste your time, but I don't know what to say.

You aren't wasting my time at all. I think you should do what feels to be the best for you. It is true that for some people these conversations can be very challenging and even cause suffering. We are all different and have different ways to relate to this process. So if you think it is best for you to stop right now that would be okay. We will be here if and when you feel it's time to talk with a guide.

A hug for you and your partner,
C