The Gate

Hello Canfora,

After a last couple of busy days I found a moment to sit and answer.


1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?


If you search you will not find this entity other than in thought, it has no specific location since it does not exist other than in imagination. Words are words of course, and behave like poetry in trying to describe this, there is only pure awareness and the witnessing of the dance of form, everything around is in movement including what we consider the body , stripped of all labels, it is all just one pure vibration apparently arising and falling back in to alive nothingness.


2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

It is a mind made construct defined by all the labels it has acquired since early childhood from what it’s been told. As the first concepts of you as a separate entity start taking root and start defining you apart from others and the world were formed and reinforced by more concepts, such as sex, name, nationality, characteristics, opinions judgements, as you grow up more labels and more layers start to add up and start to acquire a story and a firm definition with likes and dislikes of what you take yourself to be, added to that you build a strong identification with the body and truly feel you are this body and you add more labels to the sense of who you are according to what you have been taught by your parents, peers, society etc. So already from a young age you are quite defined and different, and unique from everyone else and the stories keep reinforcing themselves and add to the timeline of you, you take yourself to be made up of the accumulation of experiences through out your life and that these define you and make you who you are.

But If you search right now you will always come back to the seeing without the need of a seer the seer is just a story.



3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.


Before there was a denseness about these things happening to “me”! That could easily stain the perception of happening for long periods sometimes even for days, even though the feelings still arise it is just weather. It feels liberating that there is no need for “me” to be in control, or to change, things are happening naturally without the need of a director, even if drama is still present in the day to day there is no attachment to the stories and the obviousness that it just this, what is being presented in the present, leaves no room to attach to past happenings and see’s the hopelessness and complete unnecessariness of projecting in to the future, there is a natural sense of contentment in general, also the idea that I need to improve or make things better for myself have lost there grip significantly even though the ideas arise they are quickly seen for what they are, just thoughts and soon come to pass.

Looking forward to hearing from you soon
Take care

Hi Mario!

Lovely answers, thank you for sharing them.

Here are the other 3 questions. As usual take your time with them and answer from your experience:

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control.
What makes things happen?
How does it work?
What are you responsible for?
Give examples from experience.

6) Anything to add?

Take care,
C

Hello Canfora,

I'll be in touch soon, as you suggest I'll take the time to answer.

Thanks

Hello Canfora,

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

I’m not quite sure, it was subtle, it crept like a thief in the night before I knew it the perspective was different but nothing had really changed, I would say a series of small awakenings punctured slowly through the veil per say but I remember in our first conversations when you asked what is it about me and my partner “what makes me think she’s awake and you aren’t” that’s an idea that I’d been living for quite a while and had trouble with and that realization created a lot of freedom and domino effect, it was just a continuous rippling effect as you were pointing and asking questions about were the self is located, am I this mind etc. But then there was just a clarity that I am not anything that I can think off and just that was enough, to see that thought can never define what I am and that realization immediately situated me over and over again in clear seeing and I just realized that there was no way I could not see, ever have or ever will. Simply put realizing I am not this body or these thoughts was enough to not get caught up.

5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control.

We are apparently making decisions all the time, but are “we” really we are put at a crossroads and we have to make a decision, but do “we” really, life appears to move at a certain speed and lineal but when you settle in beingness it’s really slow so in lineal terms decision making seems like a possibility but it’s the conditioned rationale that has a particular inclination mostly as a mechanism for this body to survive it seems, for example imagine that you are biking very fast down a mountain and you are met at a bifurcation you don’t have time to make a decision, if “you” think about it you’ll most likely crash but if life take it’s course it acts on the spot and life takes an apparent direction based on an infinite amount of factors, same thing when you trip you don’t think about putting your hands in front of you in order to not smash your face the reflect is there and so is the same with choice, apparent choices are made and “you” are enforcing the act of free will and you are caught under the illusion and spell of being in control when in truth you are just in as much control as when you are breathing or making the heart beat.
Just imagine if we had no definition of South, North, East or West up or down etc. and we are standing on this ball floating through space what direction could you possibly be taking, the same for the planets what direction could they possibly be taking, life is just happening in this amazing dance beyond definition the universe is like water drops running down a window when it rains, there is no reason or decision making things are just amazingly happening, no one is in control, control is a contraction a densification of the sense of a separate self, as opposed to the relaxation that being-ness is.


What makes things happen?
Nothing makes things happen, happening is happening, that is all. The need for a doer is the creation of the idea of a greater external doer that created the universe for us to do in, what a mess. No-thing makes things happen.

How does it work?
In all honesty I have no idea, that’s the wonder, the miracle. The universe is a delicate balance of forces that can be seen throughout the whole universe, there are rhythms and patterns that play out like infinite melodies, with infinite possibilities, what is observed in the micro can be seen in the macro.




What are you responsible for?

If anything, only what is required in the moment, what ever life demands moment by moment, without hesitation you seize what the moment is calling to be attended, and in that moment all is allowed to be fully felt, the full spectrum of available information from the universe per say to what is being presented and “you” are not being selective in the slightest way. You are responsible to relax to what is.

Give examples from experience.

I can’t remember of any specific situations but I do have the feel for what I’ve experienced in the past. I’ll try to express some situations.

At work when a situation arises you do not ignore it or classify it as someone else’s responsibility life is asking life to deal with something in that instant and it is dealt with without hesitation or acknowledgement it is a spontaneity that arises to attend the moment when I am not in the way.

At home when you just made yourself some nice tea and your thinking your going to dig your nose in a book that you have been really wanting to read for a while, and there is nobody at home and as soon as you sit cover yourself in a quilt and get all comfy with a nice cup of tea, suddenly your partner is back before the expected time with the kids and instead of feeling resisting and still try to pursue with your plan despite the impossibility, you get up and attend your children you do it spontaneously without hesitation without any idea about it, as life now calls for this, in other words life doesn’t give a damn about your own personal agendas and the sooner you get with that the more freeing and unexpected life is.

Another one you get out of home and you head towards the coffee shop and your going to sit down and enjoy a lattes with a nice pastry and you say to yourself I deserve it, it has been a long hard week, as soon as you get there and order your treats and you see a nice cozy seat available by the window with beautiful sunrays shinning on it waiting for you as you reach for your wallet you realize you left it at home, even though a frustration might or might not arise in the moment you acknowledge that this is it, and spontaneously explain the situation to the cashier and go for a walk instead in the middle of winter.

These are funny examples and so many more could come to mind, I’m not sure this is what was being asked but anyhow let me now if we should be exploring it from another angle.

6) Anything to add?
Hmmmm what to add?
Life is life wonderfully spontaneous without the need for a conductor, why get in your own way and build your own illusory chains? Of course none of us know when we’re all caught up in all these ideas, but lifes-loving hand is silently always inviting us, are we willing to be curious enough to turn and look? The silent stillness is ever there, readily available moment to moment. I myself am trying to understand this silent language and trying to express it through the limitations of language which are so easily to get lost in but the seeing, the beingness is undoubtfully present in every single moment. Just remember not this body, not this mind but a subtle living vibrancy, unlocalizable and ever present, so obvious that it seems like a joke that I was searching here and there.
For now this is all.

Hi Mario,

Reading your answers was a joy. Thank you. I've really enjoyed walking this path with you. I'm going to ask the administrator team to read this conversation, to check if we missed something. This may take a while. I'll let you know what they say.

I think you have what it takes to be a guide here in the forum. Guiding is the fastest way I know of of going further in our own path. It can be challenging and wonderful at the same time. Don't feel pressured by this suggestion, it is only an idea that you may consider or not :)

Take care,
C

Hello Canfora,

It's been a pleasure as well working together, I'll wait for your reply and further instruction if necessary, I would be obliged to be a guide for other and to further deepen the realization. How would I go about this?
Once again thank you for the guidance you definitely have the touch :)

In gratitude
Much love _/\_

Hi Mario,

Thank you for your kind words. No news yet.
LU has a structure to support new guides: a forum, a FB group and some documents you can read. You can also send me a PM if needed.

Take care,
C