The Gate

Beautiful post!

I did notice that I couldn't stop and be still enough to be in the space of no thought. And that to me is the knowing of their is no I. I think?

Why do you need to be with no thought to be know I? Could it be that the seeing/understanding that thoughts are happening without a thinker is in this inquiry synonymous to No I? Is there a thinker of thoughts?

I can sense it....every so lightly though.

Can you really sense no I? Or is this just a "different" experience plus some "different" labelling by thoughts?

Barry

Why do you need to be with no thought to be know I? Could it be that the seeing/understanding that thoughts are happening without a thinker is in this inquiry synonymous to No I? Is there a thinker of thoughts?

No thinker of thoughts. There is none. It is all just happening. It's happening whether I have the thought of observing or not. That place of no thought is another I...holy cow...I just got that. I was wrapped up in my IDEA of enlightenment...a place with no thought. "I" would have to have no thoughts to be there...but that in itself is an "I". "I" have no thoughts...lol! That just made me giggle hard. The absence of thoughts and the appearance of thoughts ALL happen within LIFE.

Can you really sense no I? Or is this just a "different" experience plus some "different" labelling by thoughts?

Same as my above response. No...I can't sense it...that made me uncomfortable...I wanted to describe it...to put it into form...into a structure...but the moment I do that...I am back making it into an experience of an "I". You can't sense it...that puts a "sense-er" into the mix...doesn't it?

Yes first part agreed! Somehow there are hidden expectations that thoughts shouldnt be there this somehow creates a story of separation by some. Why not include everything if all is happening anyhow.

Lets see if we are on the same page with your second part and if you are talking from "belief". Or from wanting to understand.

What there is too understand is that there is simply the experience happening covered up by a story thoughts happening. All at the same time. So why say you cant sense it so it put a senser in the mix?

I dont know that ;). That is just another label like University putting on a building that isnt there. Dont get me wrong but philsofy all you want about it after the inquiry ;). Just checking if your not creatingg a new belief around it.

Barry



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Confused a bit...so, is "no I" merely an experience or is it reality?

What I am saying is that its a thought. Look for yourself. Can you find an I anywhere? Except as in thought? Can you find no I anywhere except as in thought?

Barry




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No...I can see it is all thought. The no I, the I....I can see it is all there. All "in front"....I feel as if I am back behind when I look. I still shift back and forth from looking to being in it believing I am the I....but I do believe I can see it.

Well yes falling in and out of story also happens. And this sometimes comes with the uncertainty of "loosing it" but there is nothing to loose ;) just another thought, and a bunch of sensations. This will lessen if you keep looking with honesty untill most of the internal structure falls apart.

Now you say " I feel as I am back behind when I look".

If you really go into that sensation, and look at that. Experience it. Can there be something that is in the back? Or is this just another sensation interpreted by thought?


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Another sensation. That will be a place I will keep visiting to keep looking (if need be)....the back behind piece is something I have sat in for a long time as a "seeker". Superego at its finest. Wow...just really saw it as another sensation...no guilt...no doing it wrong...just another one. Then I even tried to go "behind" that...lol. But it is just looking that needs to be done...that is it. I keep trying to move behind it and that is when I separate once again. There is no movement needed. it is always here...its always been here. whoh.

Great!

And does such a thing as the superego exist?

Barry


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Hello!

I am back from my trip and had an interesting experience. To pick up where we left off....

Now you say " I feel as I am back behind when I look".

If you really go into that sensation, and look at that. Experience it. Can there be something that is in the back? Or is this just another sensation interpreted by thought?


And does such a thing as the superego exist?

It made sense that the superego was one more thing that doesn't exist....every time there is just another layer that can be seen through. However, I was on the airplane traveling to my destination and there was some turbulence on Friday. The sensation of being frightened came up. I felt it deep...I always do. So, I sat back and welcomed it in. I welcomed it in and let it be experienced. And yet, I was once again using the "back behind" technique and being the observer. I have often gone to this to allow the experience to have its journey and while it works quite well...I remembered this looking for a superego or something behind what was happening. And I saw it...or saw the lack of it..or really saw nothing at all. I saw through it. I remember the thoughts of even the one who is choosing to welcome this in doesn't exist. A thought welcoming a thought. And a big shift was felt. The feeling of the fear lessened dramatically but I will say it was still there...along with the thoughts behind it....thoughts around dying and what that meant and so much more. I kept looking at them...I stayed there...with it. Urges of a need for a distraction came and those were allowed as well. And yet, I stayed. It all blended together. I was seeing the fear as it came up and moved around but it also wasn't really a seeing...it was just there. Hard to find words for this...but I wanted to share.

Allright than :).

What are the things you still feel uncomfortable/uncertain with in the light of this inquiry?

Barry

I want to ask how this becomes abiding....but I think a better question is what is the best way to let this work through all my life? It feels as if it would be natural and yet, I hear of people seeing and then allowing it to drift away. All of which I know is an illusion as it can't leave...it can't go anywhere...it isn't a thing to do. Basically, what is next for me?

Good question. This is just the beginning. You now have the tool to see and to look. What comes next is that layers of conditioning starts to fall away, if you are willing to fall into it, and to look with honesty and a little courage. Than not too much touches the nerves anymore but experience becomes more raw, more direct. There are aftercare groups, and we could continue this privately.

Afterwards, its more a philosofical question. Somehow life will continue anyhow with an absence of I. My own futile belief is that if I look at kids is that they play for no reason at all. So Id say, start a life project, go out travel, whatever your preferences is.

I still have a some questions for you check:

What is self for you now compared from where we started?
Was there ever any self?
What made you shift?
Can you say something about free will?

Barry

Just wanted to check in....super busy day and I want to take some time to thoroughly answer your questions. It may not be until tomorrow morning (when I am alone again) but I will be in touch soon. <3

Sure! No worries.

Thx for checking in.


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