The Gate

Well . . .

There are six further questions for you.
Here are the first three of them:

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference (if anything) from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

Xain ♥

Hi Xain,

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

No. Not now. Not ever.

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

Hmmm. It's the belief that there's an actual thing / entity called Leah (or whatever your own name is) that is in control of life - her life. And it's the belief that the I/self/Leah is separate from life - like existing IN life - rather than actually just being life - a part of it. It starts from the moment we're born / or the moment we become aware of everyone around us speaking to us as though we are a separate self. We grow up with the assumption that I is a separate thing experiencing life - instead of just life being experienced.

How does it work? Urgh, I don't know how it works. I always just believed that I/Leah was a thing rather than just a label. Now I don't even know what I imagined - what like a little mini me sitting inside my head doing stuff and making decisions?!

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference (if anything) from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

It feels both highly uneventful and yet really important. There does seem to be a difference to me, mostly noticeable in my reactions to other people. I write a blog and get a lot of emails, for example. Previously, if I got a nice email (positive feedback) I'd feel happy/good. If someone said something that in any way seemed to be a criticism, I'd churn it over and over and cause myself a lot of trouble and pain. Those sorts of emails don't seem to matter in the way they used to. I can't say there's NO feeling of defensiveness or suffering coming in, but it's dropped quickly.

I had an important meeting on Thursday. Some of the things that were said to me would have previously seemed highly personal and again would probably have caused me to be defensive and/or upset/angry. But I just felt very open to it because I knew that it wasn't really about me, because there IS no me.

Also I feel a greater sense of peace / trust in life. Like I can stop struggling to figure out all the answers.

Love,

Leah

That was a lovely reply, Leah - Great to hear that a greater sense of peace is being experienced and things are more relaxed.

Here are the final three questions:

4) Was there something you look into or something I may have mentioned that made you fully realise - Was there a moment where you 'tipped over' into realising 'no self'?

5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control as you understand it now. What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Please give examples from experience if you can.

6) Do you have anything further you would like to add?

Xain ♥

Hi Xain,

4) Was there something you look into or something I may have mentioned that made you fully realise - Was there a moment where you 'tipped over' into realising 'no self'?

I really couldn't say that there was. When I think back over our exchanges and the exercises you've given me over the last few weeks, there's no sense of an a-ha moment at all. It just feels like it was there all along. So I'm not quite sure how we got here :-)

5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control as you understand it now. What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Please give examples from experience if you can.

So, there is no Leah, no I, no separate entity in there making any decisions. Therefore, logically, "I" am not making any choices or decisions or controlling anything since there is no "I" to do that. Stuff happens and then there's a thought that comes in with the language "I" which makes it seem like something separate (Leah/I) has chosen something. So bizarre.

So I'm not responsible for anything. It's just happening.

Examples? Hmmm. Everything in life! So I just ordered a cappuccino. There was some indecision between cappuccino and latte. Cappuccino is what came out of my mouth. Did "I" make that choice? No, because there is no "I". A cappuccino was ordered and then the label "I" came in.

I do have a question here though. No separate self making choices/decisions/controlling anything. What causes one thing to occur over another thing to occur? Why cappuccino and not latte? How is it going one way and not the other way?

6) Do you have anything further you would like to add?

Just thank you!

Love,

Leah

I do have a question here though. No separate self making choices/decisions/controlling anything. What causes one thing to occur over another thing to occur? Why cappuccino and not latte? How is it going one way and not the other way?

I will address your question in a while, but first allow me to put our discussion and your answers the X-Factor judges to see if you get through to the next round.
I will reply in a short while.

Xain ♥

Ha ha - brilliant!

The X-Factor judges are all in agreement, and Simon Cowell wants to see you in his office :)

Well done! You are 'through the gate' - If you are on Facebook and wish to join the LU community there, then please send me your Facebook name or page link and I'll get you added in (click the names 'Xain' in red at the top right of this page, and choose 'Send Private Message' to do that). There are groups for people newly through the gate, further looking and after-care.
Your name on this Forum will be changing colour, and you will likely have access to more pages.

I do have a question here though. No separate self making choices/decisions/controlling anything. What causes one thing to occur over another thing to occur? Why cappuccino and not latte? How is it going one way and not the other way?

This is way beyond the scope of guidance here, but let me throw a few pointers your way.

In the standard model we have of the world of interactions, we have subjects, objects and time involved.
So for example 'I (subject) am seeing a car (object) driving past my house (time taken for it for do this)'.
Each one of these (Subject, Object and Time) can be deconstructed to show that they are entirely 'thought based'.
Each only has existence in the realm of conceptuality. None have 'absolute existence'.
What we did in THIS guidance is to examine one of those things (the subject 'I') to show how it is a 'thought construction'.
'I' only has existence as a concept / idea.

The thing is, your question 'What causes things to occur' has to assume something. It has to assume that something is definately doing something, something is definately being done, and time is involved in the interaction.
What if all this wasn't absolutely true? What if time itself was a thought construction?
Surely the only thing that could be said is that 'It's all just happening'.

Why cappuccino and no latter? Why not?
Could it simply 'just be that way'?
Why were you born a human being and not a different type of animal?
Why does the earth revolve around the sun?

The mind demands answers but can't fully see it's own assumptions in the questions it asks.

Xain x

Hahahahahha - thanks, Xain!

I got a message from 'aftercare' with details of what to do - thank you - looking forward to joining the community on Facebook.

The thing is, your question 'What causes things to occur' has to assume something. It has to assume that something is definately doing something, something is definately being done, and time is involved in the interaction.
What if all this wasn't absolutely true? What if time itself was a thought construction?
Surely the only thing that could be said is that 'It's all just happening'.

Ok, this is really helpful, thanks.

The mind demands answers but can't fully see it's own assumptions in the questions it asks.

Yes! Thank you!

Ok, so, I guess I might see you over on Facebook.

Love,
Leah

This guidance is at an end - Thank you for an interesting and enjoyable conversation.
I'm always available for a chat should other things come up. Send me a message on here or Facebook.

Best wishes and Good Luck for the future
Xain ♥