Hello again Kay, appreciate the patience here.
To close, here are my responses to the final questions.
Once again, I am truly thankful, for the process, but for your guidance through the ghost town to LIFE...to see what simply IS.
Awesomeness.
:)
Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
No. This is seen now in perfect clarity. The old wineskin, the old ways of habitual thought, the ways of ‘this world of appearances’ is cast aside and seen through, making way for new wine, an authentic realised knowing of What-is, the direct actual experience of this-here-now, Life, as it has always been. Ground zero where there is not two, not I and Life.
Galatians 6:3 says so wonderfully, ‘If a man thinks himself to be something, when he is nothing he deceives himself’. Thought creating the idea of a self, ones image, all but a construct of thought. The root delusion. Thank you to both Kay and LU for the process of revealing the limitation and cage of ‘my’ intellectual understanding. I never was. So grateful.
Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
The word label mind is seemingly a massive bag of conditioned habitual thought. This mind, thought, conceives itself to be an individual, constructs its own belief systems and a world model, all built entirely around our assumed concept of an objectified self. The root delusion.
Every waking moment, the actual direct experience of this-here-now, is seemingly veiled by what is the root of every utterance, the I-thought, the conceptual idea of self, a me, that is the manager of my life. The mind imagines itself to be a self who has a mind. No wonder it feels burdened trying to keep this huge contradiction hidden. Simply a thought construct, believing itself to be something, with a whole lot of other thoughts piled on top…the whole enchilada.
The identity that is thought is the person I took myself to be. A concoction of ideas, perceptions, associations, all the actual experience of thought…person…persona…mask.
All problems are personal, are all conceptualised, all thought.
A reactive thought process, out of habit, assumes it is an objective, independent volitional entity. It is the habit of a lifetime, running deep in the sub-conscious.
How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
Without actual first-hand experience, a superficial, intellectual knowledge is just not enough to fully expose the conceptual self as the illusion it is. For this unveiling, for the process undertaken here, I am truly thankful.
The feeling is one of lightness, a weight off ones shoulders per se, a casting off of what was only a thought constructed burden. Simplicity before the concept of simple.
I came here as a seeker, to have my preconceived ideas, my spiritual knowledge, my puffed up bunch of fluff LOL, that in itself a thought owned by thought, confirmed. Kay's direct approach and yet guiding hand, allowed for the thoughts, and helped me to see through insight, the futility of them and the entanglement that is identity.
Truly a massive AHA moment, the feeling has not left me, and I feel at ease knowing the language that is spoken here is all one can do to point at the no-self.
Much humility and a buzz of potentiality is felt…
Truly a peace that surpasses ALL understanding.
Freedom IS…
What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
It was in the final stages of this process. Any further questions was the question. I noticed the thoughts desperately fighting themselves, and caught myself saying, ‘don't trust the mind it's what got me into this mess’…it then dawned like the brightest sun…I never was in a mess, only the idea of myself was…and from that position I have worked so hard to control life, not realising the fallacy I had bought hook line and sinker.
I looked, embraced the looking, put aside preconceived ideas, what I thought I knew, dropped it ALL. It just revealed itself, unexpected and unsought.
Thank you Thank you Thank you.
Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.
All decisions, intention, the idea of free will/determinism etc, choice and control are just that. Ideas. Notions that are simply the actual experience of thought, built upon the false premise I am a someone to have, make or do such things. It's the burger with the lot.
One of the effects of this grand illusion is that thoughts, emotions and actions are interpreted as initiating from and belonging to the self-concept and thus controlled by it (the second illusion). Thoughts and actions are interpreted as something “done” by the self-concept “me.” However, being only a concept itself and not actually anyone at all, the self-concept has no ability to will or perform any act on its own.
Examples are endless. From the moment one wakes up, there is a self running the show, the thinker, the doer, the decision maker, the manager of ones life and he who must get it right to achieve the added notions of success, happiness, wealth, whatever label this self construct chases. Like chasing the horizon not knowing you stand on it.
In every actual experience, that seeming self is non-existent. Decisions, will to do or not do, choices, control and responsibility are all a construct of thought for the idea of self. Having seen though this entity, all of it falls away.
Life happens to no-one, by no-one...it is just a happening. A flow.
Thank you Kay and to the LU team.
To directly see this has been a truly awesome experience…
A game changer. Much love and I hope to remain in touch.
The only thing I will gladly say in addition, this process, this desire to want others to see what is largely overlooked, for no charge, is a credit to the authenticity and heart of all who want to pass on/give back. It is a wonderful thing, and though I have shared what I intellectually know on FB(lol I know) I too feel the desire for giving, to allow others to directly look at the burden we each carry, freely given as it is freely received. Thank you. Much love and gratitude.
Peace.
Brenden.