I'm glad you're wanting to be thorough with this and make sure we're through. I've continued to look today, and although my life goes on pretty much like it was before, there's just no more belief in a "me."
Absolutely not. All there is is what's happening now, which defies definition or circumscription by words and concepts. In retrospect, its clear that this is the way its always been. It has always only been thought that said otherwise. But even as I say this, I cannot find that thought. It always dissolves the moment I begin to examine it.Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
The illusion of a separate self has no actual beginning, but a thought-story appeared (out of God knows where, but who cares!) saying that a separate entity named "Jim" was born at such and such a time in such and such a place, and went through such and such appearances over such and such a period of time, and that all along he was making choices and negotiating his way through the world with other separate entities, etc., when in reality none of that ever happened. All there ever is/was, is present awareness. The illusion however, seemed to happen (as with a dream), but never had any effect on the awareness. Still, the story was so vivid and elaborate that it searched within itself for answers to what seemed like vital questions that arose within the context of the story. And this went on and on, until the illusion questioned the validity of the story itself. From there, the illusion all began to unravel.Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
Most of the thoughts, feelings, sensations, and perceptions continue to float by, and the story isn't much different than before, but there is no more belief going into it, and I can now see that there there is no solidity to any of those thoughts, etc., and they certainly do not constitute objects (especially not a "me"). There is an occasional sense that I should believe it again, but then this automatically triggers the question, "Where is this 'I'," and it is quickly seen that all that is here is aware space with thoughts passing through. Seeing through the story/thoughts is a simple shift, but makes a huge difference in the way I encounter life. The sense of resistance is gone, and I don't have to worry about things like "survival" and "creating success" anymore, and yet surviving and creative problem-solving seems to be happening anyway. Its a lot more fun there's no "me" involved with any of it, that's for sure.How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days. What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
No, I really can't say I do any of those things, Sarah, as there is no "me" to do them. A thought may still arise, for example, that says, "I am making these decisions and performing these tasks in accomplishing a specific goal," but I know there is no doer involved with that. As you said earlier, if there was a "me" in there doing all these things, I would have solve the "problem" a long time ago...LOL It really is hard to see how I could have missed this, but I I think you'll have to agree that its a pretty compelling illusion (giving you just enough appearance of self-direciton to keep you chasing your tail). I'm just so happy to be free of that game. It was exhausting! I keep reading that smartphone app you have with all the quotes, and its amazing how it all just describes what I'm seeing now.Do you decide, intend, choose, control events in Life? Do you make anything happen? Give examples from your experience.
No, nothing else to add, except my eternal thanks to you, for your patience with me, making me look at things I didn't want to look at, and not letting me off the hook no matter what. That is true compassion!Anything else to add?
But please do let me know if you'd like me to elaborate on anything more specifically. Just being here, as has always been the case. Nothing more I can say for now.
Lots of hugs,
Jim
