The Gate

What could you do to prepare yourself to just be and answer from that place of not knowing?

Well nothing really, can I? :)

Can you give examples of those “layers” that have disappeared?

I don’t know if layers expresses it with accuracy, maybe as an spiral moving; as time went by I kept stumbling back to known old situations, concepts, feelings and thoughts with a new, clearer understanding, always renewing itself. I was conscious of having several ‘masks’: ‘the seeker’, ‘the knight in the shining armor’ and the ‘victim’ were the ones I recognized. When they ‘came on stage’ I recognized them as such, I acknowledged them. Little by little they stopped coming on to the stage. That’s the best way I find to explain it.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

I think it was reading a quote from the app (or several) about labelling and/or direct experience. The day after I was able to somehow ‘merge’ with the trees I was looking at by letting go of language labelling and concepts, like a child who knows nothing of the tree. I don’t recall the exact words, not even the message (I have a terrible memory), it must have just clicked somewhere, but I remember the impact of those quotes. Maybe it was only one in particular, I don’t really know.

5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

Well, one can make decisions, the important thing is where they come from I think. In my case, decisions normally come to me. I don’t know if you want me to describe these concepts in general or who I ‘live’ them, I’ll write what comes to mind. Intention is energy, attention, direction of awareness, to me. Free will, mmmmhhh… there is, and there is not. For you are free to do what you want, yet what you really want is aligned with what is if you are present. Choice is a little bit of the same I think, something in-between free will and decision. I don’t make choices, the ‘answer’ (the choice) comes to me if I wait. I now almost never come to a crossroad where I have to make a choice. Control, we don’t have any, any at all. I remember the feeling of thinking that you have, and how stressful and anxious it makes you feel. That’s the ego forcing its way forward I guess. What makes things happen I still don’t know, life, an intelligence of some sort, only one that rules everything I feel. How it works, I don’t know, by living? What I am responsible for…. Myself I think.

6) Anything to add?

Nope, I’m already exhausted :)

One of the guides is asking this:

It seems hard for you to translate direct experience into words, is that correct?

Please refrain from speculation. If you don't know, just state: “I don't know”. You don't need to come up with theories or ideas, it is no surprise that that is exhausting as you seem to be in some sort of no-mine state at the moment, which is perfectly OK.
Example: “Control, we don’t have any, any at all.” - that is a clear statement coming from direct insight. I bet that didn't take any effort to come up with.
“Choice is a little bit of the same I think, something in-between free will and decision.” - Speculation, thinking. See the difference with the above?

What I am responsible for…. Myself I think.

What self?

Maybe more questions will be coming.
In the meanwhile I am travelling for 3 days and maybe I cant find internet (small island in Indonesia). So it could take some time before my next answer.

It seems hard for you to translate direct experience into words, is that correct?

Yes. The easiest way seems to find some kind of metaphor, like the bubble or the spiral.

See the difference with the above?

Yes. I wasn’t sure what was expected so I wrote what came to mind. I have many ‘I don’t knows’ :)

What self?

None. I can’t find anything to be responsible for.

you seem to be in some sort of no-mine state at the moment, which is perfectly OK

No ‘mine’? maybe no-mind? Or both? :) Yes, I find that I mostly use my mind for practical matters and work (and it works fine :), and thinking about anything else, to philosophize in short, exhausting and pointless. I don’t complain though, I feel fine.
Ok Peter, enjoy your trip!

Hi Auren,

I found a place with (lousy) internet.
I saw that there are no more questions from the other guides.
A LU admin will contact you now to invite you for the "post-gate" groups.
It was a pleasure to guide you.

Blessings, Peter

Hi Peter,
The same! Thank you for your time, attention and patience! :)
I'll keep checking the thread then

Hugs