Hiya John,
You clearly 'looked' and saw a great deal even before arriving here, it's quite evident in your clarity and eloquence - either that or perhaps you're an English Language Professor :-)
Thanks Mike, I'll take that as a compliment :-). I do string words together for a living -- as a software developer.
There's a 'place' where it all converges, where each part of the puzzle fits perfectly and the glory of realisation happens - that 'aha!' moment. This doesn't have to be just once, it can happen whenever you need it to.
I must not have needed it to then :-). Realization seems to be arriving here in small parcels. My moments have been more like 'oh' than 'aha!'.
Thoughts narrate doubts - they're great at it, but they can only do that while there's no clarity on whether the thought content is Reality or not. Pretty much everyone I've guided here has at one point drawn a line under thoughts being seen as containing nothing real - they've been 'certain', they look at their own direct experience and see very clearly that thought content is simply 'imagining', they then strive forward with that certainty. Then a few days later, they look, and see something else that's crystal clear eg: No Thinker, Chooser or controller, they see it just happening all by itself. NEXT comes a thought arising that challenges this seeing - a 'but it really feels like there's a controller' etc... This is the point that if they try to describe what this controller is - they see that it could only be an idea or an imagining, however they've kind of forgotten their certainty that thoughts cannot be considered any basis for investigating reality. The mind or flow of thoughts tells you that another group of thoughts isn't just a group of thoughts (view), but actually something Real and exists in reality. When we look for evidence of this 'Reality' it's just not there - so the mind finds another way to convince (itself), that it really exists and so on.
Yep, that's the way it goes for me. :-)
This is the point where we need to return to looking and seeing if thought content is reality or just 'imaginings', once we see it and accept what we see - the whole house of cards comes tumbling down. This can happen a few times until we see it for what it is - just a process happening according to conditions.
A few or a few million, perhaps. :-) But yes, looking occurs often enough here to have faith in it as a remedy for the imaginings of thought. And when I look I do see it for what it is: a process happening according to conditions. Nicely put.
So what to do with the mental instance that sometimes arises that there is free will, choice, control, etc., even though it can never be found when looking directly at experience?
Please give any example where this happens - perhaps as you think of it right now (try to think of something that thoughts insist it has control over - please describe the succession of thoughts and feelings (if applicable) which come up - rather than consider this too carefully, perhaps simply type as it happens if possible - lets see where this progression of thoughts leads you...
Well that isn't going to work because when I look closely, the mental objections (I meant "insistence" not "instance") are seen for what they are, with no actual reality. :-)
I've observed the process over the last few days, and notice that the belief in the ability to choose is part of the thought-stream narrative. Taking a specific example per your suggestion, I pause writing here to consider what might come next. What will I write? Another pause. Thoughts of whether to continue with this subject or erase the paragraph and start over with a different example. Reading over what's been written to see if it could expressed more clearly. Thoughts that I need to trim this down; it's getting too detailed and verbose. Another pause. Ideas appear to mind and words appear on the screen as fingers move over the keyboard. Considering free will. Am I off topic? And so on and so forth. Thoughts come, words appear, editing occurs or not. Words like "surely I did that" or "next I'll ..." are more thoughts referring implicitly to the locus of sensing I call "me". It appears that thoughts can influence activity, but I cannot claim authorship of the thoughts themselves, which arise spontaneously from forces and causes hidden from me. When arriving after activity as "I chose that" or somesuch, the thoughts are entirely speculative, creating the illusion of having been able to 'choose' differently.
So: Free will, the ability to choose or control, is an illusion. Even when considering it logically, if the separate self is seen as an illusion created in thought, there can be no free will, because unlike perceiving (which needs no perceiver), controlling cannot occur without a controller. A separate self is required to control, but it is an illusion, and of itself, an illusion clearly has no ability to control.