Hi Ilona may I ask you to be my guide?

[Ilona]

hi Junjo,

sounds that answered your own questions, all just IS. :)
i'm very glad to hear that you are enjoying life and doing more things that you like. this is just happening too. simple..

what is that gets liberated?
is there a gateless gate that needs to be crossed? is there an entity that needs to cross it?

is seeking still going on?


sending love

[junjo]

is there a gateless gate that needs to be crossed? is there an entity that needs to cross it?

NOPE

what is that gets liberated?

Still investigating and searching. It's not an 'I'. 'I' is just a belief or conditioning nothing wrong with that but it kind of complicates things. 'The 'I' sort of works as a misery magnet :)
In fact there's nothing in the sense of an entity that gets liberated.
So is conscience liberated?
Can conscience be awakened in a sense of coming home to what already is?
Could be. Looks like it, feels like it. Something opens up. Or flows more easily. That's what is experienced by this life force right now :0
Life is king.

is seeking still going on?

YES
Still seeking, sure am. But it's a nice, soft, lovely seeking without thirst. More wonder, curiousness and investigating than looking for results.
Glad to be home!

Sending love,
Junjo

[junjo]

Hi Ilona,

Today my bicycle was stolen in bright daylight under my nose. I saw it happen from my living room but wasn't suspicious about the man parking his bicycle against mine.
Now I lost my job, my car (broken and gone) and my bicycle. Please tell me this isn't happening! You answer me lately that I answer my own questions but is that so? Do I really?
Can you point please?

Thank you
Sending love,
Junjo

[Ilona]

Sounds like a lot is happening. And if it's happening, that is exactly right! Life is giving an opportunity to examine attachments, fear and trust. It's all part of the process. The gift is in your reactions. You can see how you feel about these events.
What is coming up? What should be different? What do you really want? What are you looking for?

Much love.

[junjo]

The gift is in your reactions. You can see how you feel about these events.

A gift it is?!
I panicked approximately for a half an hour. Then I remembered I've got a small (almost forgotten) folding bike in the cellar.
Got the bike upstairs and inflated the tyres. Works perfectly. I felt happy and contented?! Yes I did!
Lovely. Since it's not my bike that has been stolen, just something that happened, I didn't made a big humbug about it. No stories about me or mine or 'Why does this always happen to me? I don't deserve this etc. etc.' Stories I used to tell myself when I still believed in Santa I. Also allright to feel bad about it for a moment, but somehow it didn't stick or cling to 'me' because there's no 'me-belief' anymore. Experiencing this mishap was like blowing the dust away from an old treasure map.

What are you looking for?

Total liberation Ilona, that's what I'm looking for, noting less! And in a way, with not knowing and just being and looking and awaring without to much fuzz about future and past, I feel quite liberated already. Isn't that great? And shit still happens :) But I can laugh about it far quicker and see the opportunity in it, and even the creativity! Got lots of positive and helpful reactions on Facebook! Long live the internet!
It also helps to clear out some stuff, old beliefs, sticky thoughts by looking. The work of Byron Katie proves to be a helpful tool for me. For instance I had this belief that wanting to write paralyses me.
Yeah, right :)

Much love for u2
Junjo

[Ilona]

Total liberation? Nice.. But, seeing no self is only a first step. It's not an arrival to a happy place. It's the beginning of clean up operation.
Tell me, what is here, that needs to be liberated and from what exactly?

Sending love.

Sent from my C6903 using Tapatalk

[junjo]

Hi Ilona,

Total liberation? Nice.. But, seeing no self is only a first step.

This makes perfect sense to me!

It's the beginning of clean up operation.

Ready to clean!

Tell me, what is here, that needs to be liberated and from what exactly?

Consciousness? Connected consciousness, life as it is awaring endlessly?
Where cleansing and liberation is concerned consciousness looks like hidden/captured under layers of belief systems, presumptions, prejudices, judgements, opinions, convictions…
Through the effects of meditation and The Work of Byron Katie for instance, I noticed consciousness can be conscious in sort of a pristine undefiled state.
The paradox is that this has a lot to do with accepting! no likes, no dislikes, no forcefulness. So in fact nothing here has to be liberated!

Sending love
Junjo

[Ilona]

hm, no, it's not about acceptance at all. it's about recognition. this may be of use. http://markedeternal.blogspot.co.uk/201 ... ition.html

what is does not require your approval, it's already here. acceptance-resistance are two ends of the same stick. what is here, that accepts or resists? what is that sensations stick to?

sending love.

[junjo]

Oops! Interesting! I'll have a read first, and thank you!

Junjo xx


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[junjo]

Hi Ilona,

In fact I'm having a sit and taking a break first. Perhaps too much in the head instead of in the experience?
Feels like I need to start all over again.
A bit disappointed but it's honest at least!
Since I experienced no free will, instead everything is on automatic, I've been experimenting with letting all sorts of will, volition, choice etc. go. Not forcefully, but just see what happens.
But still experience some sort of choice or volition? That what Buddhist call intention.
No I but still choice?
Letting things go brought me in a nihilistic realm.
Anyways to cut things short. I'm sort of lost here.

Sending love
Junjo

[Ilona]

Actions happen, things get done, are you the doer?
Choosing happens, are you the chooser?

Are you the doer of letting go?

What conditioning sticks to and what is the glue made of?

Write what you notice.

Much love

[junjo]

You're such a nice person Ilona, but it just not seems to work for me. Can't see, don't experience, don't see through the illusion. But I know. No im not the chooser nor the doer of lettign go. Conditioning sticks to mind/thoughts and the glue is made out of thoughts? Perhaps I don't know but since i'm not the thinker or doer anyway, who cares. Again a job refusal, no money and a child to feed. The only illusion I knwo. Feeling down as a chimp who hasn't eaten a banana for days.
Bye for now
And all the best to you.

Junjo


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[Ilona]

Dear junjo.

What is not working? You are already seeing and hoping for something else..

Can't see, don't experience, don't see through the illusion. But I know. No im not the chooser nor the doer of lettign go.

Which part of your statement is telling a lie?
What is there to see in your opinion?

Nothing changes in the view if you put sunglasses on, all that is is seen through tainted glass, nothing magically transforms into something else. Just the view changes. So if you know that body does stuff on it's own, by itself, without your management, without some entity that lives inside it pulling the stings, what do you expect to experience? It's always been like this. No new experience has to happen, knowing that doer is illusion is seeing through illusion. So please, untangle yourself from this misunderstanding.

Conditioning is a thought and thoughts don't stick to thoughts, they come up one after another, no glue there, just feelings that are labeled- this is a problem, this should be different, I don't like that. Can you see this? Frustration is here. Sensations arise. And pass. New sensations arise and pass. What do they stick to? Me? Where is this me! The feeler? Have a look.

This method works if you look. If you don't, if you think about it, if you analyse and trying to escape looking (unconsciously) then of course, there is no effect.

Have a beautiful day.
Sending love

[junjo]

Thank you for your helpful guiding dear Ilona!

just feelings that are labeled- this is a problem, this should be different, I don't like that.

Okay!

This method works if you look. If you don't, if you think about it, if you analyse and trying to escape looking (unconsciously) then of course, there is no effect.

Fanatically (consciously!) not looking lately by numbing and distracting myself. Entanglement? Resistance? But resistance to what… ?

What do they stick to? Me? Where is this me! The feeler? Have a look.

So as you suggest, despite resistance to whatever, best thing to do is having a look right now :)

(big sigh)here 'not-I' goes again, just looking coming back to you soon.
xx
Junjo

[Ilona]

What is it that is looking? What is seeing happening to?

:)