Help with seeing through the notion of my self

[Mary Asha]

Here they are:

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5) Do you decide, intend, choose, control events in Life? Do you make anything happen? Give examples from your experience.

6) Anything to add?


These questions are asked for confirmation purpose. Your answers will be read by other guides, if they have any further questions, I'll let you know. :) If anything is missing, we'll get back to the process again. Take your time on this.


Takecare

[ChrisG]

Thank you. I will consider this and get back to you.

[ChrisG]

There is simply no separate self to be found.

The illusive separate self is only a thought arising alongside other experiences. The thought attributes ownership and a sense of control to these experiences. Thus: ‘my life’; ‘I am doing this’, whereas life and doing are just happening. The thought is not bad, just rather self-important and it can detract from other aspects of experience.

Today the ‘I’ thought really didn’t get in the way; there was a clear sense of being with whatever was happening. And not in an “everything is beautiful” sort of way; less reactive to others’ suffering, willing to sit and enjoy what might have been boring without seeking distraction; not so bothered by the story of how things ought to be. Also, willing to move towards and enjoy other people without holding back; without fear.

How does it feel to see this? Liberating! Although nothing has changed, the same routine continues but the way it is seen has shifted. And sometimes the shift seems so slight and so inexpressible that uncertainty arises with thoughts of “has something changed? Will this last?”

I felt very engaged with the enquiry but on occasions thought “I already know this”. Until, Mary, you asked “So, Chris, do you exist?” I wrote three times in reply and saw that each reply was caught up in ideas and explanations and wasn’t expressing anything from experience. There was an increasing intensity around this and then I was babbling to my partner in some kind of panic trying to work it all out. And then it popped up that Chris just thinks he exists; and tears; and laughter.

So no, I do not decide, intend, choose, control or make anything happen. I just think I do. The exercise to think of a random series of numbers made this clear. The number popped up and was immediately read in thought and somehow claimed but there was no prior decision made. For some time I tried to catch the moment a decision was made to get out of bed in the morning. Getting out of bed just happens. Walking down a street the body moves this way and that, drawn by shop windows or the music of buskers.

I hope this answers your questions but am happy for you to ask more or to engage further with the process.

And thank you, Mary, for being with me through this. I have no idea who you are and would like to know but am also happy to remain with the memory of your kind and encouraging questioning, your little smileys.

With love
Chris

[Mary Asha]

Elloeeww :)
I have asked other guides to look into your answers. Let's see what happens. It was my pleasure working with you. And I guess we are already friends, aren't we? ;)


Takecare

[ChrisG]

I'll pop in for a cuppa next time I'm in India. xx

[Mary Asha]

Sure, let me know when you visit India :)

I have come up with some more questions from other guides. Would you mind answering them?.. Here they are:

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? ----> was there ever?

2) Could there be a self hidden somewhere? Or an invisible one?

3) Your statement - 'Does' ‘Chris’ ‘think’ ‘he’ ‘exists’? Yes! ---> Is it Chris that is thinking?

4)"The thought is not bad, just rather self-important and it can detract from other aspects of experience." ---> How can a thought detract? What other aspects of experience?


Takecare

[ChrisG]

Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? ----> was there ever?

‘I’, ‘self, ‘me’ are thoughts and thoughts arise in the moment and do not endure so there is nowhere in thought for a separately existing and enduring entity to reside, ever.

Could there be a self hidden somewhere? …Or an invisible one?

On reading this doubt immediately arose. But the doubt was seen also to be no more than a thought. A hidden or invisible ‘separate self’ would be outside of direct experience and in the realm of concept or thought where it cannot have existence; twisty.

Your statement - 'Does' ‘Chris’ ‘think’ ‘he’ ‘exists’? Yes! ---> Is it Chris that is thinking?

No, Chris is just a story in thought, thought cannot think.

"The thought is not bad, just rather self-important and it can detract from other aspects of experience." ---> How can a thought detract? What other aspects of experience?

The quote is unhelpful; it is the content of thought, an enjoyment of words, and doesn’t point to direct experience. A thought cannot detract nor do anything; there can be no ‘other aspects’ of experience since experience is just what it is.

[Mary Asha]

Thanks for responding :) I'll get back to you with some more questions asked by other guides. Hope you don't mind answering them. Takecare.

[Mary Asha]

Sorry for the delay
One of the guide wants you to answer the Q1 again. Let your answer be simple and straight to the point :).. Here is what he said -

"Please ask him to answer the question directly, from direct experience, without evasion and without thought stories."

So, the question!:
Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

Takecare

[ChrisG]

Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

What is happening is simple and direct. There is no separate entity here. ‘self’, ‘I’, ‘me’ are thoughts. ‘anywhere, any way, shape, form, Was there ever?’ also a thought.

[Mary Asha]

That was good.. Thanks :) I'll reply you back once I get a feedback from other guides.

[Mary Asha]

Here comes few more questions:

1)Do you exist?

2)Are you a separate entity? Is there any separate entity anywhere?

[ChrisG]

Do you exist?

I do not exist though there is a feeling of existence, of life lived. ‘I exist’ is just the thought of a claim to existence.

Are you a separate entity? Is there any separate entity anywhere?

I am not a separate entity. Look carefully when touching something and there is just the experience of touching; there is no within or without, here or there. There is no evidence of difference with any of the senses in direct experience; only the thought of it.

If a separate entity cannot be found anywhere in direct experience can it be found anywhere else? ‘Outside direct experience’ is conjecture, simply another thought. There is no separate entity anywhere.

[Mary Asha]

Thanks again. I asked them to have a look at your reply. Let's wait and see what happens. I'll post you back.

[Mary Asha]

Yahooo!! \o/
Welcome to the world of no 'I' :D ..I really enjoyed having a chat with you. You'll be blue on the forum, admin will takecare of doing that and you can guide others if you would like to. We have many Facebook groups, which are fun to discuss random topics and also meet lovely people to help you with any clarifications. :)

If you have further questions/comments to make, you can post it here.. Later on this thread will be moved to the 'read only archives'..

I'm happy for you
Takecare