The I-thing

[Matt]

It is not necessary to create a me. Here it is, now, in full bloom and as active and convincing as ever.

Oh really? There's a created/substantial 'me' there?? Look closely at it then, and describe it! What is it composed of? You haven't convinced me. Turn your anger into the looking; break through this lie that is lynching your life. This is not philosophy, but direct investigation. LOOK and report with utmost honesty what is seen.

[Damon Kamda]

Thank you for your patience and your time. This is helpful input. Much appreciated!

You're very welcome- it's a joy and inspiration, Ingen.

Yes, that is it. That is what is happening. Fear of losing control.

Was there ever a me controlling? No. There is just space, where fear and the wish for control and everything else shows up.

Ok, there is space. How do you relate to that space?

[Ingen]

How do you relate to that space

I was about to write: I am the space.

But now there is impatience ( i have to finish a project), and it feels more like:

I am impatience....

[Damon Kamda]

I had a feeling you were going to write that ;-) ...

"I am the space"
"I am impatience"
"I am (you name it, random feeling, thought sensation)"

Can you see, Ingen, how the I in any such sentence is entirely superfluous and never found in experience? When the "I" is substracted from all of these sentences, the description of what is really experienced is actually true.

The I is.... not.
It isn't there. It's absent. Zero, nada, zilch.

[Ingen]

i am happiness....

[Damon Kamda]

Happiness is.
You are not.

[Ingen]

I am actually somehow afraid now. Am I playing with fire?

I had an evening with the family, functioning as always,identifying with the I-story as always. Only in a short quiet moments I noticed Life breathing as me, as children, as all. Peaceful.

Then I was sitting down and reflecting on it all. Closed my eyes and I was gone. Vanished. I became disorientated and, as I said, afraid of losing it. (What do I mean with that?!)

[Damon Kamda]

I am actually somehow afraid now. Am I playing with fire?

No. You are beginning to open your eyes for the first time. Let it happen.

I had an evening with the family, functioning as always,identifying with the I-story as always. Only in a short quiet moments I noticed Life breathing as me, as children, as all. Peaceful.

Then I was sitting down and reflecting on it all. Closed my eyes and I was gone. Vanished. I became disorientated and, as I said, afraid of losing it. (What do I mean with that?!)

Where is the I now?
What is there to be lost but a belief in something that was never real in the first place?

Do you exist, Ingen?

[Ingen]

Is it possible to know truth? Is there ONE truth? Is reality knowable? Is it friendly?
I guess I want to know what I am trading my illusionary self for. But then I guess I don't have a choice.

Where is the I now.

It is gone when I look. It is lurking in the background, waiting for an opportunity to show up. A conditioned reflex, one of many. I wonder if it can disappear.

an example:
I smile automatically when passing by another person, according to social rules. No self involved.
Immediately afterwards I automatically assume a self assessing MY behaviour as appropriate or not.

[Ilona]

Truth is. you isn't.

what would be lost if it was true, that you don't exist as a separate entity?

[Ingen]

what would be lost if it was true, that you don't exist as a separate entity?

I don't exist as a separate entity. I exist as hypothesis, as conditioned reflex, as illusion. I am speculating about why this happened (i read once about the " hedonistic treadmill"), but this is not really relevant here.

Nothing is lost.

[Damon Kamda]

Nice, Ingen.

When you have the time, could you write a piece on the following questions?

1) Is there a you, at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form?

2) Explain in detail what the self is and how it works.

3) How does it feel to be liberated?

4) how would you describe it to somebody who has never heard about no you?

[Ingen]

I'll try, but this will only be tonight.

[Damon Kamda]

I'll try, but this will only be tonight

As Master Yoda would say: "Do or Dot, There is no Try"...

[Ingen]

I did write, Master Yoda.

1) Is there a you, at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form?

No. There is just body, impulses, movements acting upon impulses, thoughts following impulses. There is sounds and sights and body perception, there are feelings of like and dislike. There are habitual patterns of behavior which I call "me". There is a face in the mirror I call "me". But no substantial, real self.

2) Explain in detail what the self is and how it works.

The self is a construct. A habit, a conditioned reflex.Or a label attached to habits, movements, decisions.
Some of the body movements are labeled "self - ("I did this"). But most movements just happen without being noticed.
Although there is no one "doing perception", a perceiver is being assumed. In reality there is not perceiver and percept. This is a learned story, maybe through language. Sights and sounds are just there. There is no perceiver.

3) How does it feel to be liberated?

actually kind of ....free. Although, everything is going on like always. Just without taking the I-label for real. Anger arises, stupid automatic reactions happen. Insecurity, impatience and and everything else is taking place. But it is not such a big deal because it is not I who is stupid, insecure, impatient. I can't take it personal anymore. It doesn't really make sense to be proud of achievements, or disappointed about lack thereof. It will take some time to explore these things

It feels like I have shed a filter, a bubble I have been living in.

I could for years not stand being alone with myself. Had most of the time a sensation that I should do something else than that I was doing. Since the first Ipod arrived in this house, I was listening to podcasts or music always. I couldn't STAND the chatter in my head. This has changed. the last few days I actually enjoyed being alone, observing I-thoughts attaching themselves to other thoughts, and there was - peace, somehow.

The instinct of self preservation is intact. I don't know yet is how it is going to feel facing death, if fx. a terminal illness is diagnosed.

4) how would you describe it to somebody who has never heard about no you?

The believe in a self, a soul, a personal essence is like animistic believes (that the sun is alive, that there are gods in the trees, that a falling stone wants to fall down). A unnecessary hypothesis.
"I" am the product of my genes and my upbringing. There is no room, no necessity, no possibility for the existence of a personal essence.