seperation sucks

[Anja]

Hi Jorge,

I have been „at this“ again and again and a few more things emerged that I added to the answers.

I felt that these were important to really sit with and still this is „all“ there is:

1) Is there a 'me', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

There is no “me”. It feels like a “full stop” there.

I have been living the life of a “me”, but there has never been one.

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works.

It feels like going from direct experience back into "story"? Why describe something that does not exist (seperate self)? My most honest reaction to that was:

To be 100% honest – with all respect ;-)) - I do not give a shit!

And it felt sooooo good being honest!

Remember Jorge, what you wrote; once that Santa is seen not to be real, who cares where he was born and how he does his job?

And I do see that description can be happening, playfully – just not “in this theatre” right now.

3) How does it feel to see this? describe in detail.

I notice that the „seeking“ energy has dropped. I can now „drop into“ that which is. I can now simply enjoy what is. What a relief.

It feels so great to actually come to „end of story“. And then there is an „opening up of something“ (and "a dropping in" ?.

When stories/thoughts happen there are different reactions. Either they are simply noticed, they are „seen“ to be untrue or simply „amusing“.
One morning I laughed out loud many times on my early morning walk.
When „it is seen“ it is like the best joke ever..
This morning there was this „don't you just love stories..“ kind of a feeling.

It felt humbling to see that there is no „I" in the other.

There has also been a „feeling more vulnerable“ - more „in touch with sensations/emotions“ and a „oh, a contraction, heaviness, pressure“ is happening. It feels „not owned“ (how to best describe this?...)

Then there are times of excitement: It's so cool ;-))
Amazing!
JOY!
♫ „joy to the world... far as the curse is found..“ ;-)) ♫

4) How would you describe it to somebody who has never heard about this illusion but is curious about it.

It would not feel honest to „describe“ something – it feels too complicated. I might be taking the "confrontational approach" „you do not exist“ . And then explore it with this „somebody“ bit by bit... (establishing what is real and not, some labels describe real things, other labels describe imaginary things, then to locate the „I“ etc...)

And who knows what will really happen in that situation out of a moment? Maybe even a description.. ;-))


5) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look? was there a specific moment when seeing happened or was it gradual? what exactly happened?

The „firm“ pointing. „Let's not mess around ...“ Just look!

There were specific moments of „OMG – there really is noone here..“!

And all this „embedded“ in a gradual process of realizations. The realization of „no doer“ for example came later one morning, when it was perfectly clear that not only there is not doer, but the concept of „doing“ does not make any sense..

6) Anything to add?

Reflecting on answer no. 4 some time later, I realize that it is these descriptions that put me off entering the gate for a looong time. It is the direct questions that appealed to me and were refreshing and pulled me into doing this. Starving the mind/seeker.

Generally I enjoy the simplicity of life and there is a wanting „to just be“ and this ever refreshing feeling of „seeing no self“ - „stepping out“ moment, enjoying the emptiness.

It seems that thoughts that „creep up on me“ ;-)) cannot find a hold and just slip away, giving way to enjoy moments experienced „whole“.

„Bestest“ X-mas present ever !!!!!!!

[Jorge786]

Hi Anja!

Good job, thank you, please wait for the opinion or cuestions from other guides

Best regards
Jorge

[Jorge786]

Ok, I send you a PM, please check it

[Jorge786]

Hi Anja, how is that wave that comes and goes?,
Just checking!

Warm greetings
Jorge

[Anja]

Hi Jorge,

thanks for checking in - did you get my message via FB yesterday?

Yesterday afternoon I could have done with an ER ;-)) - i was trying to get the water out of the sinking ship, only to discover that "once in the water" I could easily swim ashore .... It seems that once interactions with "other" happen, stories can still get triggered ("poor me story"). Yesterdays experience clearly showed me that I have no control over the situation.
This morning I was treated to a 2 hour walk in nature and had all sorts of "wows" "omgs" and smiles. The grinning is not as extensive as previous days ;-)), but more a noticing how "there is a show all around" and a "omg - I am in THIS - how exciting!..
All sorts of insights happen for example about "cause and effect". It's like it is all of a sudden "just seen" that this belief is not true....

Loving it,
Anja ;-))

BTW: ER = Emergency Room ;-))

[Jorge786]

Hi!

What you did (swim back to shore), is what I had recommended... if I'd asked for advice maybe I would have said, "do not worry, let your self go, observe how the current carries you to the shore, and if you're swallowing a lot of water ... call me". jejeje

It's something that happens, you can feel something like a re-identification, but once you've seen, you know how it is and always remains "a silver lining through which your return." (How poetic.:-P)

I have not received a message from you on FB, if you want, send me your address (by PM) to add you to the group.