The Gate

When i look around and watch other human beings , I can see that life pretending to play various characters. Life just happens

Good! So do you find "me" / "I" / "self" / "Sid" or "OTHERS" anywhere in existence outside of thought?

I look forward to hearing from you.

Nothing really happens to aliveness. It is as it is. There is just reduction in believing the falseness of self .

So the thought is not believed. Good!

When you say there is reduction in believing the self - is there ANY belief in self left then? If there is, where is it believed to be?

Good! So do you find "me" / "I" / "self" / "Sid" or "OTHERS" anywhere in existence outside of thought?

No i don't find any of these outside of thought .

When you say there is reduction in believing the self - is there ANY belief in self left then? If there is, where is it believed to be?

i think its just a force of habit that is slowly breaking down.

Wonderful Sid. How are you experiencing this? Ramble a bit about it if you will, then we'll address anything else that comes out of that, and if ready, we can move into the final questions.

Ok I ramble. How am I experiencing this? hmmmm....

I don't think I see 100% clearly but I am definitely getting there. Right now , there is a realization that there is no 'me' or 'sid' . I understood this before. But now I am seeing this more clearly. There is a seeing that body is doing its won thing and mind is doing its own thing .Thoughts are just passing through my head thought sometimes too much they are given too much hospitality.

I am slowly getting there in seeing that 'sid' is a complete fiction. There is still some small fallback in this 'me' mode , i am afraid. But i guess this is force of habit and its slowly breaking down. its kind of like withdrawal without the painful symptoms .I beginning to see more clearly that its life expressing itself as sid. I am also beginning to see that just like there is no sid , there is no <insert name> of my friends and family. Its just life expressing itself as these various personalities.

Life is just happening on its own. Its just one life expressing itself everywhere.

I know you are just using traditional self-refernecing language, and I'm not trying to be nit picky, but want to OUT this "I" thought whenever we get a chance just to be crystal clear. And also to point to what happens in direct experience when these self-referencing thought loops happen. :)

Hmm, I shall definitely do this .I check next time if self referencing thought comes up. P:)

Thoughts are just passing through my head thought sometimes too much they are given too much hospitality.

Who is there to give them hospitality or not give them hospitality? Where is this entity that could stop thought?

mind is doing its own thing

Let's look at this word "mind" - in direct experience only is there any such thing as "mind"? or is that too just a label for thoughts? Does the word "mind" seem to imply a controller or processor of thought? Is it true? or is there just a stream of thought passing through? Check this in direct experience.

There is still some small fallback in this 'me' mode , i am afraid. But i guess this is force of habit and its slowly breaking down

Is there a Sid, at all, anywhere that can be located in direct experience? Thoughts will continue to reference "me", that does not stop, there may even be a "sense of self" felt, but are they pointing to anything in reality at all, whatsoever?

If you have thoughts of a Unicorn and have a sense of a Unicorn, does that mean Unicorns exist? Or are they just thoughts and senses that point to nothing in reality at all? If I ask you to find a Unicorn in direct experience, can you do it? How about a "me"? What's the difference between "me" and "unicorns"?

Hey Sunni!
First I want to say I getting more wearied by this looking and hence I becoming more lazy in doing this whole looking thing.

I know i said that i understood thoughts , belief and self is not real ( using self referencing language here :) and i gave u the impression that I understood .It was surprising that i didn't grasp this fully. Until today I had unconsciously accepted (without questioning this) that some thoughts are more important than other thought if there are more closer to truth. For example - I assumed the thought ' we are all one' more correct than the thought ' i am sid '. But ultimately no thoughts contains reality or truth .The thoughts i have, the beliefs in me are no more valid than the thoughts in others.They may have some content but are no closer to the truth . They are just thoughts. There is no such thing as ' more truthful thought' . I experienced relief to realize this and to realize that I don't need to have more truthful thoughts in my head.I just don't have to give a damn to any thought or belief in my head.

Like to know what you make of this.

Who is there to give them hospitality or not give them hospitality? Where is this entity that could stop thought?

No one .

Let's look at this word "mind" - in direct experience only is there any such thing as "mind"? or is that too just a label for thoughts? Does the word "mind" seem to imply a controller or processor of thought? Is it true? or is there just a stream of thought passing through? Check this in direct experience.

Hmm. well mind seems like a label for bunch of thoughts and thoughts patterns. All the evidence of mind seems to come from mind. But sometimes mind seems like a processor of thought - for example - when i am solving sudoku or trying to comprehend something. I bet there is going to be stuff to look here :).

Is there a Sid, at all, anywhere that can be located in direct experience? Thoughts will continue to reference "me", that does not stop, there may even be a "sense of self" felt, but are they pointing to anything in reality at all, whatsoever?

The realization that there is no sid doesn't make this 'sid' go away. The sid thoughts are still experienced time to time. So , will these thoughts always be there ? Is the only option in stop believing in them?

I don't know what happened Sunni. But today there seems to be a lot of laziness here and just half hearted attempts in doing the looking. I guess i am running of steam.

Hello Sid,

First I want to say I getting more wearied by this looking and hence I becoming more lazy in doing this whole looking thing.

that is actually a good sign, frustration and weariness of this is perfectly okay. No right or wrong about it. You can use the frustration to finish this, or you can take a break for a day or two and just write to me once per day anything that comes up, can be short or long, your call. You are also always free to leave the inquiry. :)

It was surprising that i didn't grasp this fully. Until today I had unconsciously accepted (without questioning this) that some thoughts are more important than other thought if there are more closer to truth. For example - I assumed the thought ' we are all one' more correct than the thought ' i am sid '. But ultimately no thoughts contains reality or truth .The thoughts i have, the beliefs in me are no more valid than the thoughts in others.They may have some content but are no closer to the truth . They are just thoughts. There is no such thing as ' more truthful thought' . I experienced relief to realize this and to realize that I don't need to have more truthful thoughts in my head.I just don't have to give a damn to any thought or belief in my head.

This is EXCELLENT seeing, yes! Isn't that astounding to realize? The ultimate truth is that there is no ultimate truth, not in thought. Thoughts just happen, no absolute truth to any of them. It is very liberating to see that isn't it? :)

But sometimes mind seems like a processor of thought - for example - when i am solving sudoku or trying to comprehend something.

Yes, it does seem like a processor doesn't it, but check direct experience - is their a processor in there? (Kind of like on that movie where they open the head and there's a little alien in there at the controls?) Or is it just thoughts appearing in a sequence, some related, some not? Or, if there IS processing going on, is there a processor? Or just what we call "processing" happening?

The realization that there is no sid doesn't make this 'sid' go away. The sid thoughts are still experienced time to time. So , will these thoughts always be there ? Is the only option in stop believing in them?

You can't stop believing in them, because there is no controller to stop that (check this). The thoughts will continue to come, "always" we of course can't address because it's just a thought of the future. ;) It's not a problem if they come, if they are seen to be empty, basically void of any actual substance and pointing to nothing in reality.

But I want you to check that for yourself, when the "sid" thoughts come up, just quickly see if there's a sid to whom the thought is pointing. Just look for this "sid" or this "I" or "me" that thought is referring to.

Do you have any doubts that there is no self?

Take some time to just be with this. Come back whenever you're ready.

With love,
Sunni

If you are having the inkling that this is very very simple, and does not need to be over-complicated or drawn-out, you are right! The mind sometimes gets stuck "looking for this I" as if it's hiding somewhere and I need to keep looking so I don't miss it! When the reality is, if it was there, you could point to it.

Thoughts can be found in reality, sensations can be found in reality, feelings can be found in reality, body's, doors, tree's, walls can all be pointed to in reality, but "I" cannot.

You can use the frustration to finish this, or you can take a break for a day or two and just write to me once per day anything that comes up, can be short or long, your call. You are also always free to leave the inquiry. :)

Well thats nice of you. But i don't want to leave this inquiry. Today i took a break and didn't too much looking. It was very relaxing. I suspect that the realization of no truthful thoughts might have contributed to my enjoyment of today . However, i would like to do this inquiry at a leisurely pace.

This is EXCELLENT seeing, yes! Isn't that astounding to realize? The ultimate truth is that there is no ultimate truth, not in thought. Thoughts just happen, no absolute truth to any of them. It is very liberating to see that isn't it? :)
[/quote[]

Yeah its very liberating. :0

Yes, it does seem like a processor doesn't it, but check direct experience - is their a processor in there? (Kind of like on that movie where they open the head and there's a little alien in there at the controls?) Or is it just thoughts appearing in a sequence, some related, some not? Or, if there IS processing going on, is there a processor? Or just what we call "processing" happening?

aargh! yeah its obvious isn't it. It just thoughts appearing in a sequence. No processor at all.

If you are having the inkling that this is very very simple, and does not need to be over-complicated or drawn-out, you are right! The mind sometimes gets stuck "looking for this I" as if it's hiding somewhere and I need to keep looking so I don't miss it! When the reality is, if it was there, you could point to it.

Thoughts can be found in reality, sensations can be found in reality, feelings can be found in reality, body's, doors, tree's, walls can all be pointed to in reality, but "I" cannot.

Yes i do get the inkling i am struggling too hard to grasp a simple truth.

Well Sunni. i sure like to continue this inquiry. Its been very helpful. All this time I was in kind of hurry to grasp the truth and get this over with. Today I don't feel the need to rush and just want to enjoy this process of inquiry. Lets go about it at a leisurely pace. ok? :)