H&H (Hello and Help) :)

[Zmay]

I am exhausted...have nothing to say...so tired. Feeled burned out this morning....now the self is recovering.

Will keep trying....

Have a nice day

[Eloratea]

Accept the experience as it is. Allow it emotionally and fully.
Energy needs to be felt to flow further. When it is clear again, keep looking.

Best wishes.

[Zmay]

Have lot to do (mind work)...so the self is recovering and getting in the old path again. I look at it, first time I notice that the "I" think it should not be so and want to correct it...in the name of finding the goal (spiritual entlightement) this time it thinks that the pressure should stay on until a breakthrough...but it is always the same, all goals are same....the "I" resist in accordance what goal it sets....I see it...but as always again mentaly.

Will keep looking...thank you

[Eloratea]

First time you really look, you will see.
There is no real entity behind label "I". Same way as there is no pink elephant except in thoughts, when you think about it.
Look at the objects around. Look at your hands. It is all there.
Look at the pink elephant. Not possible, it is not there.
Lot at "you". Not possible, no one is there.
How simple is that?

[Zmay]

I am tired, lot of work today, such work that looking was difficult.

I love the pink elephant, so will try to see him and come back after sucess :-)...or tomorow whatever will be sooner.

[Zmay]

Well I have not caught the pink elephant, had some small issues this night which hold me back :).

One question, I find it extremly challeging to look, in two type of situation, when I'm teaching and when I do some thinking jobs, like Math or similar, when my concentration is full in some tehnical stuff. I completlly disolve in the job. Any advice?

[Eloratea]

When do your job, do your job :)
And rest of the time, as much as possible, spend in silence, in nature, in "digging deeper". That will also reveal identifications and personifications of the rolls being played in life, such as teacher-rolle.

[Zmay]

Will do...aldough the last two days the zest is drained out of me, I am tired and unfocused and cannot comand myself to do anything but the essencial...I somehow distaste to think..

[Eloratea]

No need to force anything. Take some time and come back when ready.
Best wishes.

[Zmay]

Good morning,

this morning at one time a bird was chirping, and suddenlly it was doing so inside my brain....wronglly put...at one time the field of what am I and what is not I was not there and the feeling was that chirping was a part of what I am and I was so wast that it chirped inside me. I started to look and analyse it and of course it disapeared...the bird was again outside and me was inside.

That is one of the issues, I have a strong feeling of what is me, inside...and else is them outside. I looked for long and allways notice the car driving there, rain falling outside etc...opposite to my heart pumping inside, my thoughts happening in my brain. I also have a strong perception of the border which is whatever feeling of touch, temperature or other sensationes I have on my skin.

This bird was the first time I was perplexed as it was in me, a part of me...but that was very short...as soon as I looked...it disapeared.

[Eloratea]

Can't you see that there is no dividing lines except created by thoughts and than believing in them.
Look, look, look. Here, right now where is difference between inside and outside?

That is one of the issues, I have a strong feeling of what is me, inside...and else is them outside.

No, you don't have a feeling. There is a feeling, triggered by thoughts and beliefs that there is a separation.

I looked for long and allways notice the car driving there, rain falling outside etc...opposite to my heart pumping inside, my thoughts happening in my brain. I also have a strong perception of the border which is whatever feeling of touch, temperature or other sensationes I have on my skin.

Inside and outside of the body, does that mean inside and outside of you?
It is not the perception of the border, but belief in thoughts that say so.
When you hear sound is there you in that hearing or it is just hearing? Neither here nor there.
When seeing, is there you in seeing, or it is just seen?
Is there you in any of the senses before the thoughts begin to explain experiences?
Isn't any feeling inside the perception? than labeled with thoughts as mine feeling, as such and such feeling?
Stop believing thoughts and look at the mechanisms of perceptions and labeling.

[Zmay]

Can't you see that there is no dividing lines except created by thoughts and than believing in them.
Look, look, look. Here, right now where is difference between inside and outside?

No difference, I label it...it is just some sense and then I come and say...that is the surface of my skin and that is cold that I am feeling...and thats a sound of a car...judging by sound it's a truck and taking a corner with giving gas...and that is some gas moving in my bowels and that is inside my body....I can understand this, I understand it when I examine....but then I still return to old habit...I can not "see" it.....

It's always first sense...then label...some of it inside of my belive (for example the border) and then it's super fast and almost not noticable...but still it is eluding as a permanent knowledge.

I am looking.....

[Zmay]

There are holes in my life, gigantic spaces of life when noone was present...I saw this...The I creating diversiones, trying to cover that fact....rumbling arround in nonsence thoughts or telling stories or just bridging the gaps with memory jumps....what is this...what am I doing....down there is space and childish joy it was felt as a distante breese coming out of the hole....and here I am in a fairytale, letting I close the hole again...why do I fall back in it...why can't clear vision stay....

Looking.....

[Eloratea]

Keep digging.
Look at the world from perspective that there is no separate self and see how it fits.

Write when you have something and I will jump in when feel that I could help.

Be well.

[Zmay]

I will...

Have fun