Postby albanygal » Sat Oct 20, 2012 8:02 am
1) Is there a 'me', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever? how about self, is there anything that is separate from everything else?
There is only now and seeing, hearing, thoughts, feelings, sensations happen, but there is no ‘me’ who is making it happen, there never was. There is only an illusory appearance of a separate self, all of life is experienced through seeing, hearing, tasting, touching, feeling and thoughts, it all arises and there is nothing that is outside or separate from this.
2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works.
The illusion of a separate self starts between 2 and 3 years of age. Children are told that in life there is good/bad, happy/sad, us/them, you/me etc. This develops into a belief that they exist separately from the rest of life, they are the observer separate from the observed. For example, to be loved and accepted they must be good and resist impulses to be bad. Its like the brain develops the ability to project life and it seems as if it is outside of the experience of the self. Thoughts are given more attention than feelings and sensations and society places greater value on thinking. Feeling is discouraged and sometimes forbidden in a bid to be socially accepted and controlled. The belief that because thoughts dominant the attention they are the doer or manager of life.
3) How does it feel to see this? describe in detail.
It feels amazing. There has been a knowing for a long time that life happens by itself, but not a lived experience because the thoughts dominated the attention so much. Everything still happens pretty much the same, but there is no ownership. Its like there is this imaginary world happening claiming to be ‘my’ thoughts, feelings etc, but its not real, its like a dream world.
Its like when dreaming during sleep, it seems real when it is happening, but when woken from the dream, its known it was only an illusory story that appeared then disappeared.
Now that thoughts can be seen to arise spontaneously from nowhere, there isn’t anyone doing it, same as there isn’t anyone breathing, beating the heart, hearing, seeing etc, all those thoughts just happen too, hooray!
4) How would you describe it to somebody who has never heard about this illusion but is curious about it.
Are you interested in falling in love with life as it is? If you are tired of all your mental dramas and are ready to give it all up, you will first need to inquire into who you really are.
You will have already noticed that breathing, digesting, heart beating, hair and nails growing, seeing, hearing etc. all happen without any need for you to make any conscious effort;
Can you honestly say any of these things require your active conscious attention? Have they ever? From your conception to between 2 and 3 years of age, you were totally unaware of any sense of consciously doing anything. In this time, you learnt to crawl, walk, run, use your hands and your body in general, you could also talk. During the early childhood years, a belief in a you that is separate from the rest of life and was disconnected and alone developed.
You took on the belief that you are contained in this body here and they are over there. The brain learned how to create an imaginary image of a you that had to do life right to be loved and accepted by others.
I have always had a huge curiosity about life and it has led me to finally inquire into the nature of my reality. I have been taken through a series of questions and inner inquiry and now it is clear to me that there is no ‘me/self/I’ who is in control and doing this life. This is amazing to realize and releases the belief in a separate self who has to manage and control this life, and do it right! There is absolutely nothing to fear, life happened without the need for me to manage it and it always will.
5) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look? was there a specific moment when seeing happened or was it gradual? what exactly happened?
What pushed me over the edge, was the day the thought story was going bananas about how I wasn’t getting it right etc, carrying on like a 2yo having a tantrum (it seemed like there really was a 2yo me thrashing about), and suddenly it was seen that it didn’t exist at all, it was just like a dream. All there really was in reality, was sitting on a bike riding.
