What is real?

[LillaLilla]

Hi Rali,

So, what makes the sensations to appear? What makes seeing to appear?

It is not known.

Is there anything that causes anything to appear?

Thought says yes, but in DE there isn't. things just appear.

Do cause and effect exist outside of thought content?

They don't.

Is the description/explanation/label needed for things to happen?

No.

Or is it just a commentary over what is already happening?

Yes. Sensation appeared, then thought commented on the sensation.

Did “having enough” belong to someone?

No. Thought added 'I' to it.

did discomfort build, thoughts appear, sensations appear, impulse appear, words appear?

exactly.

What is “brave” in direct experience? Sensation? Tightness? Warmth?

A body-map sensation. A warm feeling in the chest.

Is there a brave one?

No, there isn't.
A sensation appears, then thought says I'm brave or I need to be brave.

Or is there sensation, thought, action — and then thought labels it “brave”?

Exactly.

Thought saying “this is risky”? Thought saying “I am brave”?

Yes. Thought labeled the sensations.

Was there an “I” acting upon impulse?

No. Action just appeared.

Or did impulse appear, fear appear, thoughts appear, words appear, asking happened?

Yes.

Can the exact point be found where Lilla controlled the action?

No. Yet thoughts constant reference to 'I' made it seem so.

Which part was controlled by a separate Lilla?

No part at all.

Could the request have happened before the discomfort outweighed the fear?

No-

Could it have happened if the job situation were different?

Possibly not.

Could it have happened if the thought “this has to change” had not appeared?

No.

Could it have happened if the conditions had not aligned?

No.

So what made the action happen? Was it a self?

All the components aligning made the action happen.

Or was it conditions, sensation, thought, impulse, fear, care for your son, exhaustion, work circumstances, and opportunity all moving together?

Yes, exactly.

But is there a separate controller behind them?

There isn't

But in direct experience, is there a separate self responsible for making life happen?

No. Everything just appears.

Or is responsibility also appearing as thought, care, sensation, impulse, action, consequence?

Yes .

Did Lilla choose the discomfort with evening shifts?

Certainly not.

Did Lilla choose the impulse to ask for change?

No.:)

Did Lilla control the boss’s answer?

No :)

Did Lilla control the company’s staffing situation?

No

Did Lilla control the words that came?

No, but thoughts claimed so.

Was there a separate doer at any point?

There wasn't

What actually made the request happen?

Sensations, thoughts, impulse, action.

Thank you so much! The way you guided me in through this real life story helped a lot.

Love,
Lilla

[poppyseed]

Hi Lilla,
Beautiful. This is very clear. You’ve now looked through body, thought, thinker, intention, action, choice, control, and a real-life decision. Again and again, the same pattern is seen... Something appears. Thought labels it. Thought claims it, but no owner, thinker, chooser, controller, or doer is found.
Now let’s see where the illusion still feels sticky. What would you like to look at next?
Here are the usual places where “me” hides:
Time — past, future, waiting, becoming, “my life,” “my progress.”
Memory — “my childhood,” “my story,” “what happened to me.”
Others — family, boss, son, approval, conflict, being seen.
Space — here/there, inside/outside, body/world, distance.
Emotions — fear, guilt, shame, pride, hurt, irritation.
Responsibility — caring for your son, work, decisions, consequences.
Awakening itself — “am I getting it?”, “will it last?”, “I need to go deeper.”
Pick the one that feels most charged, most personal, or most unclear - not the one that is most interesting intellectually, but the one that still feels like me.
Where is Lilla still hiding?
Love
Rali

[LillaLilla]

Hi Rali,

Thank you, I'm excited to unfold my belief in others. That feels the stickiest and most personal. I have one person in my life with whom my relationship is rocky. This relationship brings about pain and hopelessness from time to time and I don't seem to be able to make peace with the experiences.

🙏
Love,
Lilla

[poppyseed]

Hi Lilla
Good. Let’s begin with others, but not with the difficult person yet.
The painful relationship brings in memory, history, expectation, hope, disappointment, and hurt. We’ll look at that after the basic illusion of “other” is clearer.
For now, choose an easy “other” in present experience - a dog, a stranger, someone walking past, a cashier, a bird, someone sitting nearby… Look at them directly. Before thought says “dog,” “person,” “stranger,” “other,” what is actually here? Colour? Sound? Sensation? Thought?
Others in comparison to what?
Can you find a self in other human bodies? How do you KNOW it͛s there?
Then there is the identification with the mind. Others could refer to other minds. If it is seen that I don't own a mind then how can others own their minds?

In DE there is only seeing/hearing/etc. and thinking provides the labels. Seeing is like a picture in which everything is drawn in pencil on paper – the illusion of separation is created by different colours used – otherwise it’s all paper.


Different colours in seeing create the illusion of things but all that is there is “dynamic” seeing. Different levels of sounds create the illusion of a song or other's speech, but all that is there is hearing. Can you see that?
Does seeing/colour itself say “other”?
Does sound itself say “other”?
Does movement/colour itself say “other”?
Or does thought add “that is someone/something over there”?
Are others somehow outside of seeing? Where does seeing end and "other" begin? Can you see a boundary?

Also, is there space where these others exist? What is the difference between “here” and “there” without thought content? Where exactly is here?
Where is the boundary between “me” and “other” in direct experience? Is there an actual line?
Or is there seeing, sound, sensation, thought — and thought says “me here, other there”?
Look at the “other.”
Can you find their inside?
Can you find their experience?
Can you find a separate entity inside them?
Or are there only colours, shapes, movements, sounds, and thoughts about a living being?
When you touch 'another', are there two sensations one of 'you' and one of 'other' or just one/just feeling? Are others outside of feeling? Where is the border that marks where feeling ends and "other" begin?

Can the “I” of “others” be directly experienced? Can you directly experience "others"?
What is the difference between seeing an ‘stranger’, seeing an ’enemy’, and seeing a ‘friend’ in DE – they are all colour with different thought content, right? How is one colour different from another in DE if all there is to colour is seeing?

Now look at “me.”
Can you find your inside?
Can you find the one seeing?
Can you find a separate entity in here?
Or are there sensations, seeing, sounds, thoughts?
So what is “other” made of in direct experience? Colour. Sound. Thought-label. Maybe sensation. Does “otherness” exist without thought?
If we have to repeat the cup of coffee/apple example but with a “person”:
Taste labelled ‘person’ is known
Colour labelled ‘person’ is known
Sensation labelled ‘person’ is known
Smell labelled ‘person’ is known
Thought about/of a ‘person’ is known
However, is a ‘person' actually known? (Or is it just a label?) Is there really an ‘person’ here, or only colour and a thought ABOUT ‘person’? Can ‘a person’ be found in actual experience?

Try this with an easy “other” first. Then later we’ll bring in the difficult person and see how memory and emotional charge construct “relationship.”
Love
Rali